TVF Bachelors: S3E2 Bachelors vs Bachelors ft. Chote Miyan, Shivankit, Badri, Jassi & Anandeshwar

What is this? What is this, Robin Hooda? Your salary is RS 35000. Rs 31000 I got a window facing the
girls hostel attached in your room. The stairs of your floor that goes up,
also comes down. I don't understand the
reason for this resignation. The reason is too heavy sir. I have been carrying this the weight
of this reason for the last 25 years. Badri aka Shoiab. Shoiab? What does he have to
do with your resignation? I was looking at somewhere else, dean.

But when such a huge glacier came in
front of me, I could never see it coming. Look modern Robin Hooda, if you speak like this then it'll take an eternity
and we'll never reach any conclusion. We have only 20-25 minutes with us. So directly come to point,
what's the matter? This story is of Sultan Mirza Ghalib. 30 years ago 'When boys were brought to Engineering
Colleges like products covered sacs.' 'That 3 feet boy also came
to the hostel in the 5 feet sac.' 'Had engineering not
been the norm at that time' 'then neither would this Sultan
Mirza Ghalib gotten his hostel' 'nor would the hostel would
have gotten Sultan Mirza Ghalib.' 'Like a snake loses its skin and moves on,' 'every student left
their sacs and moved on.' 'But Sultan Mirza Ghalib's intelligence
was what distinguished him from the rest.' There's something about you. Where every boy at the hostel
uses these sacs as doormat, you are here selling
them and earning money? I sell scarp to earn money
because I have a debt of my education. What does it matter if the sac
cleans my downfall instead of my feet? You are from an engineering background but you speak like poet.

So from now on you'll
be called Mirza Ghalib. 'From that day he got the nickname
of Mirza Ghalib in the hostel.' 'But he wasn't going
to just stop at scraps.' Search everyone! Bags, boxers,
asses and leave no place behind. I've heard that a lot of drugs
are being consumed here in the hostel. Look at this sir. – What is this?
– Sorry, sir! Sorry, sir! Sorry, sir! Shaktiman had
ruined everyone with these apologies! Do a mistake and just apologize. Get inside. Sir, look at this. What are you showing me? I'm the warden of boys hostel,
I wake up every morning to just this. Let me take a look. Are you a freshie? Did someone touch you for the first time? No worries,
now that you are here at this hostel you'll get acclimatized of being touched. Go on, get inside. 'I was checking the
students in the background.' 'And I forgot that there
is a stud hidden in every student.' 'What remains is to just remove the "ent". 'And Mirza removed the
ent that day and became a stud.' Mirza, today is our Iyer's birthday.

And he wants that the beauty queens of
the college should come to his birthday. But the party is at the
boys hostel and the job is tough. Cowards are those who hide behind
the excuses of something being tough. We are the ones who snatch
the handkerchief from aunties. Your work will be done, Iyer. But Mirza, you have all these backlogs
in your 8th semester, when will you study? When we can clear our backs
by studying in the next sem then why should we clear them in this sem? All of this is rubbish.

When we can clear the backlogs in next
sem then why should we do it in this sem? You are absolutely right, Mirza!
Even I won't study! Nor will Iyer study. 'As long as Sultan Mirza had that
tape recorder and the background score,' 'no one had the guts to argue with him. 'Because of which he was slowly
becoming the Robin Hood of the students.' 'And this Robin Hooda couldn't
even stop him that day as well.' 'Because during these days,
there were no stopping when it came to' 'sisters coming into the hostels.' Hats off, Mirza. You brought all the beauties
of the college for my birthday party and that too by making them your sister? Not only are you Dalher but also Mika.

I think you are the
real king of this hostel! From now on, you'll be called Sultan Mirza Ghalib! Come on Raj Lakshmi! The entire hostel is mine but we need to make this canteen
ours to fulfill our goals, headset. This canteen is the place where students from every
wing come to eat their food. 'Sultan Mirza smuggled
every such item into the hostel' 'that I had banned.' Brother, one extra Gulab Jamun. Extra Gulab Jamun, on its way. Hey! Students are only allowed 1 Gulab Jamun. And 2 for the warden. No worries sir. This is on the house.

Go, enjoy. 'All of this was happening
under my vigilance.' 'And I was busy in the background,
smelling the 3rd Gulab Jamun.' 'But there was something
about Sultan Mirza,' 'which used to differentiate
him from the other college losers.' Mirza, Roll no. 1284. He is from our hostel, the boys saw him making chits last night. There's an exam going here,
who are you guys? Get out. Who are you? Sultan Mirza Ghalib. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I am the invigilator of those who cheat. Remember my name, Sultan Mirza Ghalib. Good job my son, from today you will be called – Invigilator Sultan…
– That's enough, sir. If the name becomes too long, I won't
have enough boxes in the bank PO form. Just remember me during VIVA. 'Sultan Mirza was a God,
even to the professors.' 'And me, a part-time assistant examiner.' 'I was left standing in the background,
holding the supplementary sheets.' 'But just how every successful
web-series in India gets a part 2,' 'this story had one too.' '1st web series was a bumper hit
due to a good story line and hard work.' 'But the 2nd one wanted to
be hit just by fluke, without a story,' 'just with cusses.' You scoundrels,
where are you running off without paying? I wasn't running, but walking.

I get short of breath if I run. Then you need to give
mouth-to-mouth to brother. Showing me attitude,
come, come, I will take you to the warden. – Come, let's go.
– Come on man, we are just kids. What's your name? Badri. But people are calling
him Shoaib Akhtar, boss. Why? Is he a fast bowler? No, there's a doubt about my bowling action. Scoundrel, first a mess, then a theft! You have till tonight,
clear all the canteen loan. And if you don't have the money,
eat the mess food. Hostel mess? A bowl of dal, wet rice,
leather like roti and pickle with fungi? – This is your hostel mess food.
– Bro! Bro, don't listen to this metaphor-addict. Tell me, what do you want? You get out. Oh man, we will do something, for our wardens, our guards. What do you want? Chakli, Chips, what? Wasabi, do you want wasabi? Just get lost, get out.

Fine, I am leaving. Bro Shoaib, its' fine. Move! Shoaib, I will clear all your dues at the canteen. But in return, you would have to do something for me. You won't change, will you? I am Sultan Mirza Ghalib's man. Add this to his dues. Only those who complete my assignment
are allowed to add to my canteen dues. You have broken this rule, Badri. You will have to pay for that. Hattrick, give him the engineering
drawing assignment. He will complete it here, tonight. I didn't come here to run a drafter. I am not interested in your assignment,
but in your consignment. Just try me once, I won't disappoint you. Hey, our business is not a
disco you will run in, chasing a girl. You don't need a girl to enter a disco, but attitude. You need a girl, dude! You know what happens
if you walk in with attitude? See, here, here, perpendicular, this tangent, hey you show him,
show what happened to you.

He understood. He understood. Come here. 'Chips, chips,
chips, eat, eat, Badri, eat.' 'Chakli, Fafda, do I want this!' – Alcohol!
– Sultan, stop them, or they will expose the entire
breakfast in front of this foodie. Okay fine Badri, 1 packet. Laddoo! 1 bite, 1 bite, 1 laddoo. Badri, eat the laddoo, eat the laddoo. I like his self-control. This will come useful in our line. Hattrick, teach him the trade. Hey, come, come. Mirza, this man seems
like a scoundrel tome. And it's the scoundrels
we need in our line. You see, he will come back,
and take the breakfast, come, let's hide behind
the curtain and see. Get me down. Where did you bring me, man? That's so awesome. Let's hurry up and leave, bro. Let's take the bottle too, come, come. Oh man, underwear of number 90. Come, come, come man. Let's have the breakfast. Professor Vardhan has brought an imported
Scotch from Scotland a few days ago.

pexels photo 4468079

And it's in a square-colored
box in his cabin. You have to get that to the hostel. And yes, keep in mind, last time, your boys got
Olive oil instead of French wine. There won't be a mistake this time,
I will ensure that. This job of yours will be done by Shoaib. You just keep an eye on the bottle. But Mirza, I, I… Okay, fine, fine. Don't waste the battery. Iyyer, call the 1st year kids. Tell them Sultan Mirza
Ghalib wants to take their intro. Hey, you, give me you intro, you stupid. "Manikant Awasthi." "Tuntun, Reddy, Tommy," "Shukla, Soni, Kakkar, Pintu, Khanna," "Elvis, Rizvi,
Dilbar Verma, Babul Pandit, Guddu Sharma." "Avi, Avi, Avi, Avi, Avi, Avi, Avi, Avi!" "Ravi." "Wow!" "Cool!" "Oh wow!" "Get lost." Sultan is getting the first
years to dance in the name of intro. Mirza, the job is done, what now? I was the one who started the dance,
warden will be the one to end it. Got it. How dare you do ragging in the hostel,
in my presence? When the attitude of a man
can bang the system without a condom, it gives birth to daring, Robin Hooda.

Blocking this careless,
condom-less attitude at the right time
is something I know well. Careless attitude is
like a careless elephant. It ruins everything in its wake. No matter how long
an elephant's trunk is…. 2 hours later I always hunt the wolf. There's none more dangerous
than a wolf on a full-moon night. It's 2 AM, let's take a small
break and then continue? Even I will take a power nap. All the dialogues are done. Get up, you idiots. Oh man! What tall dialogues does he give, man! Bro, I have never tasted scotch. Bro, if we could have had 2 pegs, then… Iyyer, make 2 pegs for them. He's doing amazing. Sorry but brother, how can this be? I mean, not possible. Man, when I am telling you, make one. Brother, you are not getting it. Iyyer, you take 200 rupees,
but make 2 pegs for him. Sorry brother, not possible! What happened Iyyer? What's in this? What? What's in this? Hattrick, put me down.

What are you doing Mirza? Dude, you have 33 backs,
at least let the others pass. At least leave the calculus,
that's such a tough paper. I only smuggle those things in the hostel, which are not permitted by the warden. Not something which the
university doesn't permit. What a style! This 2 marks question is what you saved? Students won't even pay a penny for this. We will add a 0 before 2. We will say, it's a 20 marks question. Hey, you need to put 0 after, not before. It seems you have never been to college. Anyway, these things are of no use. This hostel needs a new Sultan Mirza. Mirza, here you are checking the sewage? When will you study? Don't
you know how close the semesters are? When we can study in next sem and pass,
Hattrick…. That's bogus. Come on, start, you scoundrel. Mirza. You can continue your trade
in hostel because you are a senior, but if you don't study, you will fail. And everyone will be ahead of you.

None is going to respect you then. Everyone will call you ,'hey Chutku,' 'hey Chutke, hey Chote', that's it. And just forget anyone
suffixing it with a 'Miya'. Neither will this costume work,
nor the background score. Remember that. Mirza shouldn't have burnt those papers. This hostel doesn't need a Mirza, but Shoaib Akhtar, someone who's aggressive, ruthless, and can even break someone's
head with a bouncer. Bro I already told you…

You are Shoaib Akhtar! But brother, he's Tendulkar. He will hit your 150 kp with some cut
or beat, and you won't even know, brother. This Shoaib Akhtar
will only hit Yorkers now. And Sachin Tendulkar will be bold. Tendulkar isn't bold,
but caught out today. Bowling by Azhar Mahboob,
caught by Shaklin Mushtaq. Don't you guys check any matches? This peg,
is for the pain of Pakistan's defeat. Pakistan will lose from India
in the upcoming 5 world cups, this is my prediction. But don't you worry, Pakistan will surely play
the final in this year's world cup. But it won't win. Shoaib, yes brother? I am going to the library
for a few weeks, to study. I want you to hold the line,
in the interim. Hattrick, keep this with you, for protection. I have put in new cells.

This will save you. Yes, yes brother. I won't give you a chance
to complain, brother. You won't even get the chance. Lambu bro, I didn't understand one thing, brother always burns a cigarette, just takes 1 puff,
throws it off and where does he go? Actually,
1 drag gets brother's pressure up. Oh, number 1. 'That night,
I got Shoaib's account cleared,' 'so that he can keep me informed
of Sultan Mirza Ghalib's activities.' But who knew, that Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan lookalike, wanted to be Sultan Mirza Ghalib. Give me the Gulab Jamun. Oh please, get lost. Give me your Gulab Jamun. Here, here, Shoaib brother. Now we are talking, bro. Hurry up, finish my assignment. Give me the roll, give me the roll. Do this, this too, do it! Write.

Don't do it, Shoaib. It can't bear your weight. It will break. You broke it, right? Now Mirza bro will make
the chair in musical chair. – Jassi?
– Yes bro? – Throw away the chair.
– Okay, bro. And whoever in this
room can't bear my load… Yes bro. – can leave the room.
– I am leaving, brother. Hey, not you. – Okay brother.
– Shoaib, this is wrong. If Mirza brother were here,
he would have never allowed it. But he's not here, I am. Iyyer, the job will be done. Tell the hosteliers, no need to study anymore.

Shoaib is getting them question papers. Brother, brother! Should I give you mouth-to-mouth, brother? Sir, why's the library
so empty at the exam-time? You are asking this now,
after ruining everything? Who will be in the library, when everyone has leaked question papers? Now, the duffer students will
cheat and graduate from this college. And this is my curse. In the future, the civil
students will make such a bridge, which will only collapse
when you cross that. Whenever any mechanical students makes
a machine, may that cut off your hands. And CS students will make
such a firewall out of windows 98, which won't allow you to see
even my hot pics, porn be damned. Mirza, he's gone mad. He has highly misused
your background score. He even broke your chair, man. Please Mirza,
don't make me the chair in musical chair. Didn't study. – Ohhh!
– Didn't study. Now you studied it, brother. You can dress like me and look like me, but you can't become Mirza.

What scam is this? Hattrick, ask the professors to set new papers. And yes, I want the entire hostel
cleaned by tomorrow. Hey! And listen, wash my clothes too, with a whitener. Clearing dust from books has dirtied my clothes. Don't worry bro. Kids, a little bird told us, that
there's cheating going on in this exam. Please cooperate,
this is just a routine check. Don't worry sir, these are all my boys. I made sure that there
will be no cheating. But if you still want to check,
you will have to start with me. Oh? Search him first. Bend his head, bend his head. Do you have any answer, Sultan Mirza? I only know the answers to
the questions in question paper, So answer me this,
where did this chit come from? But this question is not
even in the question paper. Now tell me. Sir, I didn't do this. Trust me. Sir, I didn't do this, trust me! Everyone says this.

But, how do we believe it? Why won't you believe it? Let me show you right now. Where's my background music? – Where's my background music?
– Come, take him. Remove your shoes. Where's my background music? Here. And get my clothes cleaned too,
with a whitener. Clearing the dust from the books, has dirtied my clothes too. That was a good shower. Underwear of number 95? Check it, check at the back. 'After that, Sultan Mirza Ghalib,' 'was immediately rusticated
from the university.' 'The hostel which used
to be his lover till yesterday,' today, due to that background music, was Shoaib's darling now. Shoaib has grown so big, that he doesn't even pick my phone today. Without even staying in this university, he rules this hostel. As he's this university's trustee now. All your dues are cleared, right? Yes sir. Sir, will you drop
me off at the bus-stand?.

As found on YouTube

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