[Music] Hello everyone and welcome to the LMT YouTube channel. [Music] Meghan Markle's guest on the new Spotify podcast episode is Canada's First Lady Sophie Trudeau. The friend spoke about the challenges of parenting and being a partner of two famous men in an episode called “Good Wife/Bad Wife, Good Mother/Bad Mother ” and explored the judgments behind them . In these candid and highly entertaining conversations with the First Lady of Canada, Sophie Trudeau, as well as Pamela Adlon and Sam Jay, Meghan delves into the stresses of what it means to be a partner and a mother in this modern age.
Last summer, a friend of mine was in town with her kids for a few days. Now that was very exciting to me. Because I haven't seen her in a while and the idea of getting our kids together was a real treat. We swam, drank wine, and splashed in the water. Then they threw some pool floats. By the way, the inflatable pizza slice proved to be a huge success. Which I found online and I wasn't kidding, the one without pepperoni was a few dollars less than the one without pepperoni. And yes, I'm still talking about the inflatable pizza buoy in the pool. We all laughed about it. But no matter what, this was not our day when we were wives and mothers all utterly brimming with liveliness, pearls, and demure smiles. This was the other version of us. With all of the wild curly hair, swimwear, loose linen, and huge belly laugh. The big cuddles with our little kids and the quiet whispers of the girl talking on the porch, giddy, like divorced school girls.
We had so much fun Are you wondering who I'm talking about? I'll let her introduce herself. For friends, it's Sophie G in the house, but no one knows this! Well, if you haven't guessed it yet, this introduction is probably more than you know. Sophie Gregoire is my legal name then Sophia Gregoire Trudeau because of the association. And I'm called Madame because of the protocol so often I'm sure you know, you know, how that feels. And it's just my ears screaming every time I love, "Oh, I'm not my lady!" This is Sophie Gregoire Trudeau.
She is an activist, humanitarian, and mother and wife of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Sophie has become a dear friend, and someone I think is a symbol of the strength that comes from your embrace of humanity, even in the face of all these family, home, and public pressures. Maintaining that sense of self while carrying the mantle of what comes with being a father and a husband… that's a whole palette. I just absolutely adore you. Oh my gosh, Sophie and I have known each other for several years since I lived in Toronto. yes. When we went to. So. Canadian fashion. reward. I think this is the right time. CAFA that's when I met you. And that was seven years ago ? Yes, of course. surely. Seven years ago. Or more? yes. Sophie is not just a wife or first lady. She's the kind of person who really cares about her friends—she used to send me these little meditations during my pregnancy, and audio notes, just those moments of encouragement.
And I went to her over the years for advice. She knows what it feels like to be a mother and partner, specifically a mother and partner in the public eye , and also how guilt guilt can become…the guilt we feel as mothers or as women in general is self-imposed. I think we 've learned to impose it ourselves. We were not born. A little girl is not born to feel guilty for being a girl. We're learning it and that's totally unacceptable… So I think when I started to become, you know, an older girl and early adulthood, I realized that we often define freedom as a way to break free from the world. But it really is a way to be free in the world. Ah, a way to be free in the world, not free from the world. I loved it when Sophie said this. It reminded me of this book I was reading called A Radical Awakening by Dr. Shefali Tsbari. And I ended up sharing this passage, this opening poem of it with Will.
But I wanted to share it with you too. Let's see if it resonates. There comes a time in a woman's life when she gets rid of her old ways, like throwing shoes in the trash… when she tears up her list of duties and obligations. And when impossible expectations burn in a pyre, there comes a time in a woman's life when she wants the approval of others, jewelry now turning into pennies in her sock. When the search for another person is now replaced by the pursuit of oneself.
And when the tentacles of patriarchal traditions no longer determine their truth. There comes a time in a woman's life when her desire to fit in with the crowd fades, her obsession with being perfect , and when her obsession with the popular vote dissipates . There comes a time in a woman's life when she simply says "Enough". When facade, cunning, and cunning make her nauseous, and when righteousness, creed, and superiority repel her . There comes a time in a woman's life when she is not afraid of conflict, but faces it with boldness like a lioness, when she fearlessly protects her own authenticity as she guards her children. And when she relinquishes the role of savior, realizing that she can only save herself. When I said Lioness, I was like, I almost visited. But I can't do that now, can I? Yes you can! I even looked to see your reaction as I said yes! there she is! As you know, this is a metaphor.
I think the lioness is a metaphor for everything, because, first of all, she does a lot of business in the lion tribe. She's the one who hunts food and all that. So, as you know, women all over this planet are still the nucleus of the family. They still bear most of the burden on household chores , contributing to family well-being and most decisions regarding children. And this is in the countries where they have those rights. But, you know, I think we're all that lioness. We have it all inside of us. We all yearn to… be free as we are. She is right. Because being free as we are, and going out of what is expected of us – that, that's business. At least the beginning . And look, it's not easy. And that's why I wanted to hear from that amazing author I just mentioned …
Dr. Shefali Tsabari herself. We have fallen into this trap that as a modern woman we can do anything. Now, this looks like an edited message, but it's not very edited. I would go so far and boldly as to say it is poisonous. We fall into these misguided beliefs about who we should be, these perfectionists, you know, the great delusions we can all do. The pendulum swings in the other direction of selflessness, loathing, and shame. This is the other side of that pendulum. So the goal is not to feel guilty or to be ashamed of ourselves. The goal is to get out of this pendulum swinging frenzy together. Ah, and if we can get out of this pendulum – we get out of this rollercoaster , we can take Dr. Shefali's following advice to heart… Don't destroy your core for this illusion of perfection or this image of a good wife or a good mother. Because these are just pictures. They are illusions. The best mother and the best woman you can be is the authentic mother who is closely related to her knowledge.
This does not require effort. This requires stillness. It takes calm. It requires relaxation and reflection. You know, most women in their 50s and 60s learn this, and we want to share this with women in their 30s and 40s. Hey, you overdo it. I got burned. It didn't get me anywhere. Thank God I'm still alive to tell the story. Don't do what I did. It is the pursuit of illusion. Well, what would you say if we found out what happens when we skip templates that don't work for us and stop buying into this delusion? In this episode, we delve into the roles that women play along with wives, mothers, partners, and caretakers. And we're really thinking about… How do we get out of the limited version of these molds that society has made for us and settle into the multi-layered, complex, and fuller versions of our own realities? How can we change the roles we play and the expectations we set for ourselves and others? I'm so excited to research all these questions with more amazing women…I realize you're dying to hear them say, "Mama, mama, mama or mama," and then that's all you hear.
mother Mother. Mom mom mom mom mom. Actress, Director and Screenwriter Pamela Adlon! And wait too. Girl, I really felt like a guy. So often she would put masculine things on me to do . Like, take out the trash or lift that heavy thing, and sometimes I have to tell her, like, I'm not a man. We have to bring a man here. Comedian Sam Jay Guys, get ready for a laugh. This will not disappoint. Hello! Hello! how are you? Hi Megan Hi. Welcome! Wait do you remember? Do you remember when we met? Are we kidding? yes! Well, to take you back to that moment. Gloria Steinem's birthday lunch was at the house of a mutual friend. yes! My friend said I remember, you know . Do you just want to come? Gloria preparing a birthday lunch? And I thought, Well, cool. This would be really informal. Like when I go and sit with her in the hut and I didn't realize it was such a cool thing.
And I hadn't been out of the house for a long time at that point. I am pregnant. sobs pregs . I was very nervous when I walked in and saw this room full of women. And you came to me and said something that was very certain. Will you make me cry? No, but honestly, you have no idea what that moment means to me because I don't. I was so proud of you. I was swinging on you. That moment really meant a lot to me I really did… and I 'm so excited to talk to you now. So, the first thing I've said before everyone because the world often tries to define us, I want to give every guest a chance before we start introducing yourself, in your own words, as you would like to be introduced.
Oh… Well, my name is Pamela, and my last name was Siegel, and now it's Adlon. But I love going to Jupiter. As a mother of three, I was a single mother most of that time. I am an actor. I am a writer. I am a way out. I am a producer. Very lucky to say that I am all of these things. I can now do things I never thought I could do and have jobs I never thought I'd get in my mid-fifties. I 've been working since I was nine years old.
I am very happy to be here with you. I didn't know I was going to be sitting with Pamela Jupiter. Where does Jupiter come from? Here you are! It is Jupiter. You know Carrie Summer. So she is a very dear friend of mine. She is on my show , and she said, You need a pirate name. So my full name for pirate is Jupiter, Road of Generous Thunder , Greater Heart. patron saint of divorced women. Here 's the thing about Pam, the patron saint of divorced women — yes, she's a director, producer, writer, and actress — who's been working in Hollywood since debuting as the spunky little sister Dolores Rebchuk in Grease 2! Are we kidding? That was 1982. I loved this movie. And yes, she's got that amazing voice-over that earned her an Emmy for her voice work as Bobby on King of the Hill… There's some milk in the fridge that's about to sour… and there it goes. But talking to her… it sounds like you're talking to your favorite cousin, your adorable aunt, your best friend, all in one.
And everything you say and how you say it, feels like an honest, real breath of fresh air. She breathes the same life into the character she creates – most recently on her TV show, Better Things – which has just ended his brilliant 5-season career. Pam co-created the show and also stars in it as Sam Fox, a single mother and working actress who raises her three daughters in Los Angeles. This is so annoying! I made dinner and it was hot! Sam's house is the center of their community on the show – friends are always done, and Sam is always cooking. On the show, Sam also takes care of her aging mother, a former Briton who lives next door. Navigating all of these relationships, the show captures a lot of things but means being a mother, daughter, sister, girlfriend, person in the world in the most subtle and realistic way…, I've never seen it on TV in this way. Especially the complexities and fragility of the mother-daughter relationship. You know what's cool, Max? If you help me, it would be great if you could help me.
If you clean up after yourself, that would be great. If you could help me with your sisters, that would be great. Children are not supposed to help their mother. Their mother is supposed to help them . Oh, is that the law? I didn't realize I was a clumsy, like Mother Law. Yes, and a great job you're doing by the way, Mom. Frankie basically does whatever she wants. And maybe I'll be fired now, so. Oh yeah , I'm bad, that's bad. I'm a bad mother. Now, perhaps part of the reason the show feels so realistic is that it's so based on Pam's off-screen life. She was divorced in 2010, after 14 years of marriage. She and her ex-husband have 3 girls together, and they are all grown up now. And her mother? Well, her real-life mom is also an English expat who lives next door. Pamela's father was a writer, television producer, and comic book author. And look , her art imitates and digs into her life , finding new layers to the role of mother – without all that pressure of perfection.
It's part of the reason why I wanted to talk to her on this episode because during our conversation, we felt like we could share notes. Only two women, in different stages of motherhood, are united in this reality that we are still coming to terms with as we go on . So we jump right in, talking about childhood, and her mother. My mother supported us in all her different jobs, because my father was a writer and was trying, you know, to get paid. My parents went bankrupt when I was in my twenties, and they lost everything. Then my father died of a heart attack after bankruptcy. My father has always struggled all my life. My brother and I have this work ethic that came from our parents. So it's about survival, if it's scorched earth, you rebuild yourself over and over, you know, my grandmother, you know, worked in a factory when she was 11 and she was English and she's grown up through the turn of the century.
Oh, that's another thing we have in common, the English people thing. I'm English too. Yes, I heard you just got your citizenship! a few years ago? Yes, I did that two years ago. This citizenship test is very difficult. I was studying for it and remember going, oh my god. I was asking my husband, did you know this? Did you know this? And people went, oh, I had no idea. I think they made it more difficult for you. You think? yes. They were like, we're really going to throw walls at this. With your grandmother and your mother, they both seem like incredibly strong women who juggle being moms, and having jobs. I mean, getting started at 11, like this example just because, you know, it's part of the labels we're talking about — this idea of what it means to be a good mom or like The Stepford Wife, all these different archetypes where you feel this pressure to be a mom or a wife. or partner in a certain way. Then the mother's shame that often comes with him .
I think it would be interesting to hear about your journey into it. Here is the need. I'm here on the other side of it all. How old are your children now? Baby Lily… just started walking. She is one year and two months old and Archie is just over three years old. So yeah they are… oh, I'm in the midst of it. Baby. yes. So when I was in this world I was looking for moms to share with me. I remember going to admiration first class, dancing and singing with my oldest, and I don't feel like getting along at all with other moms , you know, you literally learn as you go. And then, you know, just understand, like, you know, how do you do that? Like, I would knock on other moms' doors when they were making breakfast before school. Like, how, is it in your house? Like, is it as crazy as in my house, like that morning rush.
Like, that's what I call it. Oh no no, morning .. Morning means how old are your kids? I know. Well, I'm all grown up now. They're 25, 22, and 19. Yeah, okay, so the morning rush, I'm sure it's going to get more and more chaotic as they get older, but for me, that's about it. As you know, both screens are on so kids can always hear them with Lily. Take her downstairs. Then half an hour later, Archie woke up. Start preparing his lunchbox just before he gets up, while I get her to get her some nibbles. My husband helps me take him downstairs, and he – I make breakfast for all of them. It is very important to me. I love doing that. This is so sweet. And it's just for me the best way to start the morning. And then, it's like feeding the three dogs because we just got another dog and then we pulled Archie out the school door, you know, but it just feels like a hiccup. I also hope my dad will be a good contributor to liking time, baby time because…
My husband, it's awesome. I mean, I would love to do this as a single mom. I love bowing to you. How does someone do this without a partner to help them through. It is a lot of work to be a mother when you are just trying to be a conscious parent to raise good humans and doing it on your own is the most. yes. Well, it 's an impressive thing on the planet. I always say the reason I've been able to go on growing this exponentially as in all the chapters of my show is because my coaching was a single mother of three daughters and now I run a show and these people get paid to listen to me those others who look like they don't listen to me when I'm raising kids, They roll their eyes, they're fine whatever things you know but training has been really satisfying for me for what I'm doing now and you know when I run my group and I run a crew, because I run it like a mom it's fine I love that it's so good and still the reason why Judgmental and hard there and why is there such an expectation to seem so easy to some just that that's what I love and that's what I love about your show it breaks it all and makes us go can we all be real I wanted to introduce someone I don't like to say is a flawed person because this All people yeah everyone is flawed and I didn't want it to be like you know this hostile hero or something but the whole thing about Sam Fox in my show is that she makes mistakes left and right, I don't know how she does it I don't know what I mean What happens with Ft You, your work, and everything else.
I 'm actually not everyone always gets a little cheated even when I do my best it's never enough yeah you know I used to call moms who looked like really high-achieving robot moms and I definitely pictured it in my show but like I was going to see them , They'd be like, 'We've gone ,' we had the best lecturer on our field trip and she's taught us how to make soap out of twigs and dirt and whatever I'll be like I can't keep up and they're going to make beautiful dishes now that's a list of toxic ingredients that are totally prohibited from selling baked goods without BPA no MSG no BHA no Contains no BHT, no soy, no sesame and of course no nuts, eggs , milk, butter, salt to sugar or w heat, okay sorry what ingredients can we use anyway, I'm going to put it together you know now I know my kids have They are grown up and I wish to come back I have a one year old and a three year old and my children have a lot of nostalgia for their little childhood days , which is very nice but you know we built the base well, building the base takes a lot of work Mel, but even when I just said I thought, what advice would you give me as a mother now with a one and three year old, yeah, I mean, I wish you could just jump in and be in your mid-fifties and look at yourself now and just say Be patient but I've also been under a gun with a three and I'm too tired to make clear conscious choices , you know, saying this thing, I realized you're dying to hear the words of Mama you're dying to hear her say Mama Mama or Mama whatever it is your kids call you yeah and then that's all you hear Mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom I put this in my show and then you're like oh my god please stop saying that because I couldn't respond to everything I've always felt like I never measured up and then kind of den goes away and then the quiet gets louder because you know That I raised three kids and then two of my kids I moved and then a second and then a second and then a third I went out all the time or was at her job, and I love that, my God, the silence is deafening, it's the most heartbreaking thing and I say that in my country this year has shown me to be the saddest The things your kids do to you is to grow up and walk away from you, so just remember this Yeah I mean and there's also this quote of what you've been saying about how silent the silence is but I've always liked this quote from the quiet part of the song It's still part of the song Huge and it's a big part of you that knows what I do in the things I make because you have to make room for your life to breathe you know And I remember it was New Years Eve and I used to go up to my best friend Johnny's House in Upstate New York outside of Cooperstown and he'd get such a huge amount of snow and it was New Year's Eve and I went outside to do like resolutions and I looked at the stars and I said ok so what's next year you know umm so here's the things we need and I always say we've always been me and the girls and my mom you know these are the things we need these are the things I want you want and then leave space because that's not in the semicircle and the rest It's the unknown and the things that don't know what's coming but the capacity women have is endless After the break we'll hear more from my talk with Pamela and we'll also explore another layer of the home front which is how we approach our ability to me love and care not only with our kids and not just with ourselves but with our partners too if i come home it's like oh baby you had your drink here that's what her mom was for her dad so for her that's what you know is a good partner while he didn't grow up like this Absolutely and so for me at first I felt suffocated and was like why do you like my comedian and writer stopped in my back Sam J to talk about that and more to come after this very short break Welcome back so a few weeks ago while I was working on this The episode in particular, my mom described it as was actually okay, so the first episode did you say hey mom's face sugar, timing me mom, that's my girl , I'm fine, I'm hanging there, it's okay I'm recording now , do you want to see me hi, We are just doing some podcast Can I call you back in a bit It was just a normal conversation between your mother and daughter I have a smiley I love you ok I'll talk to you later But my mom did that thing I probably heard that clicking sound that she You do well with my mom gang literally pulled a reference w hat I came up with as a great handshake to do with her when I was 8 which was quick scissors check it away I'm 41 and she's ok this is awesome and it brought me back to thinking about my childhood and our little quirks Together , and then with this episode in my mind , it got me thinking about all the ways my mom has supported me, how she took care of me, the house, and herself, and how much she's been playing with how much women carry she 's navigating her massive, often unpaid, thank-you work.
There's no union No lunch break There's no such thing at home Women just work really hard A lot of this work was born out of necessity but a lot of it was also born out of expectations the idea that we need to fit the shape of a cookie cutter Exactly what the world wants to associate us with and I talked about some of this in my conversation with First Lady of Canada Sophie Gregoire Trudeau Bad mom , judgment, what's wrong, what's right in the end, isn't what makes sense to you as a mother as a human being as a parent, and I don't want to be very emotional But the stress and anxiety people feel days if this is an epidemic whether it's because you're a mother struggling and your kids can't go to school whatever your situation is, the stress and anxiety is real and our sense of community has completely exploded We have sisters We can have aunts who can be Moms we have friends Mom can be Mommy.
The loop is a way of being not just biological and I think we see how this has evolved a lot, I mean we talk about how the world has become progressive yeah without question now we have the ability to see it through a different lens where it's not just that I I don't know if you should leave it up to Beaver Uh showing up in Canada but just like the people cutting cookies for housewives in the 1950s you don't have to say anything except wh ar you were a little kid you couldn't Speaking of him, you can't tell me if you 're cold, or hungry, or in pain, but I've always and somehow known that he never changes Stepford's wife and that the model has evolved that takes it differently. Takes different forms of what a lot of the work I've been doing looks like you know to be able to get support for paid family leave in this country come back just across the world just maternity parental leave just parental leave in general can you imagine having child and then you have to choose if I can stay home with my child , but if I do I won't have a job anymore it doesn't make any sense at all well and then the cascading effect of the number of societal problems we have if we don't provide foundational support for a family and I think no It only comes with what the government and the country can offer but what we offer you you say as a brotherhood as a society goes beyond just sisters then only women, what we can offer as individuals , they used to say it takes a village to raise a child yes of course we don't really have villages anymore for us and at least And where we live we don't feel that sense of community It has changed in many respects, but it doesn't mean that this energy and that feeling is still there, I think the expression is if I'm not wrong on Ubuntu, I am because you are because I'm right I love that you know that Yes it is of course and it resonates in my blood as in my blood just as it is, that is exactly how the world is a complex interlocking system where everyone and everything is intertwined It really does speak to my heart a lot and it makes a lot of sense but how did we find ourselves then In a world where many women feel lonely when it comes to matters of the home .
us and really like a hint to our identities, the expectations we live are actually very recent historical inventions , as Angela Garbus is a wonderful thinker and author of two books on motherhood as motherhood and essential work motherhood as social change and as Angela says is actually for most human beings the existence we have lived in a way You talk to him but Sophie and I were just talking about and how Sam Fox is making a home on better things so you know if you go back through the history of the world you know the cultures and civilizations and communities villages or have we really lived taking care of the house collectively wasn't the only boycott of mothers going out and earning a living and being financially responsible for the maintenance of the family which was not an expectation that a mother dwells only on men, so the question becomes where in history should we travel through time to look for the origins of these expectations, let's jump now to love feudal Europe properly, so it is clear that society Feudalism has its own drawbacks.
Back then, you know women had jobs , the Smith women were thugs, and that was really when capitalism started to emerge where people went out to work for individual wages working for an employer and trying to build like individual wealth, we really started to see these expectations stemming from Women and I say women specifically I mean people who can give birth and so women were really confined to the domestic sphere and we just carried on with this idea and the idea that home is not a place of work and this idea that working at home is not really work that hurts all of us in the United States, is not We have federally guaranteed paid parental leave and this speaks directly to what we value in society and also what we devalue as a society but if we don't devalue care work and work at home, it may be easier for women and people to break out of the societal molds that have been set up for them and step in more Really comfortable.
Full roles Roles they'd be comfortable with in anything you might have talked about with comedian Sam J Now when she was hired as a writer on SNL in 2017, she was the first black lesbian to hold the role she now hosts on a late-night show called Paws and has countless Countless comedy specials where you delve into the dynamics of a bizarre relationship The Good the Bad and everything else during the simultaneous time is huge , it's a huge issue that 's hard to fight I don't even know why we're only two shows for one week out of every month I don't even understand what She's in the bedroom crying over love I'm actually in the living room crying over ESPN 30 for 30 foreign documentaries [applause] Sam Hu recently got engaged, of course after the romance I had to get a story on how I asked a big question, can I just I ask did I get down on an unbow knee I know she was getting down on my knee kind of girl I knew I was like I had to do all the bang bang bang all charge up all the romantic stuff I like the stuff I got like a sax player was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles It was a good time for turtles Ninja now that's not normal tell me about this now that's not normal ok it's going to take long to get into the details of the Ninja Turtle but suffice it to say it involved a 90s theme 40th birthday party and of course Pizza but what I really wanted to talk about with Sam is how gender roles and Norms change or you know perhaps don't in a same-sex relationship and how do the pressures of being the perfect wife the perfect partner how does that manifest when you're writing your own script I really think it is like how what you're raised on I really do right like the more you we're delving into the more I'm thinking about even her like as a as a partner she is very uh attentive and like she likes to dote on you she wants to cook for you if I come home she's like oh babe I have your drink right here if I come home from like a long day and lik e that's how she wants to be but that's what her mother was for her father so for her that's what a good partner does you know whereas I didn't grow up like that at all like my mom worked my dad worked I didn't have like one um parent staying home they would kind of like ships passing in the night all the time they didn't do a lot of things together and so for me at first it felt uh smothering it felt very smothering and I was like why are you like on my back lady like I'm just trying to like you're like why are you loving me so hard why are you watching me so hard yeah I know it sounds nuts but that's how I felt just like yeah what is wrong with you and it took a while for me to like grow into letting that in because I just didn't really understand it yeah but that's so interesting because I actually hadn 't thought about that until you said it is that it's less of gendered norms as opposed to just learned or mimicked Norms yes yes it's like for her she's always felt like in her life s omeone's gonna come in and be a breadwinner and I'm gonna be able to you know have my career when I feel like it but nothing's gonna be dependent on me financially because that's not how she grew up whereas it was a big conflict at first for us because I've only known women that work you're like I don't need my slippers at the door and my drink in my hand and dinner on the stove that's not my expectation you had a different expectation of partnership how you guys did reconcile that um we fought a lot um we went to therapy uh and I think we just had to learn each other that we had to learn where where we both were coming from and find that respect for each other and us being two women in the house we had to learn that my girl you know really felt like I was masculine so a lot of times she would put masculine things on me to do like take out the trash or lift this heavy thing and sometimes I have to let her know like I'm not a dude like we're gonna have to call get a guy in her e you know what I'm like I I'm not capable so you know I think there's just all those different little things you don't think about even when you start when you start living a gay lifestyle you like you're not really considering it and then the both of you are staring at a jar of spaghetti sauce you can't open and you're like hmm well this is a conundrum yes and uh usually what I do in those circumstances I just wait for one of my guy friends to come over and I just have them open a bunch of stuff and uh put a bunch of things up that are too high for us I'm just picking you guys standing around with all these open cans and going yeah like get them now get them down get them down while you're here get them all now just get it all done well I'm so excited for you and your fiance thank you I think you're both gonna be a good wife whatever that means to you whatever you make it I do too amazing thank you Sam thank you have a good one my conversation with Sam it's got me thinking back to Pa mela and she herself has a very sort of as she'll tell you tomboy energy about her and it's interesting to think about how that plays into t he role she's been able to play both at home and in the entertainment industry when I grew up you know tomboy was the expression and then it was androgynous and you know I've always felt more comfortable in a masculine kind of world you know even though I've only ever been strictly dickly but that's another story but you know that's that's the world that I feel comfortable in and I never really connected to my femaleness until you know I got into my 50s and and I was doing my show and interesting that didn't that didn't feel different for you when you were pregnant I always felt like a pregnant boy kind of wow wow that's so interesting and for me being a woman in the business and having to just really understand the um the patriarchal bias that everybody lives under I'm seeing that what I do you know with the stuff that I make um and and I'm seeing the systems are still the same they're still the same and I feel like a big part of my work is how I make people you know feel a c ertain way and it sneaks up on you because it's about your feelings but it's also about breaking these systems because they're all janky and messed up yeah I mean the first just had Archie now I'm a mom of a daughter and whether I thought it was going to happen or not it did I see the world differently through how she's going to see the world and how she is going to look at certain women as role models and when I look at a lot of women that I'm speaking to on this show you included I want her to understand that it is not just a box you have to fit into but you get to be a full-fledged interesting curious kind strong all the things human being but you also get to be a woman with a Voice and look you have such a strong voice that I think for so many women it's just liberating because when you speak freely and you speak truly it gives people permission to feel that they can do the same well I really just want to embolden and empower people I feel like the world gets better when women are involved and when women help each other it's the biggest gift of change the biggest Arbiter of change you know when women share with each other and you know season four of my show I remember um I kind of sent an email to all of my my female friends and I said did you guys go through menopause what was that like for you um how do you feel about it you know and I got so many responses back and so many of them said please don't tell anybody I told you this and they 're oh wow wow yeah there's so much why do they still stigmatized what do you think it was shame fear yes fear of judgment yes it's you're you don't want to talk about you know the fact that it hurts to have sex or you've got to take this kind of medicine to make your vagina feel like a person again or whatever the thing is then the only way to break through that is to do what you do whic h is to create Zeitgeist moments through your content to create cultural conversations that move the needle but I'm actually really surpri sed that even when you reached out to your girlfriends they've got yeah that makes me sad I mean I would ask especially because of so many of the things that you touch on in your show and in your work and your candidness about it you know There are some very hard Parts as you touch on the program of like the choice to get married I'm curious like what is the piece of advice you would give to someone who's making a choice to get married and equally what is the piece of advice you'd give to someone who's making the choice to get divorced well if they were making a choice to get married I would say why they're getting divorced I would say add a girl no I um I really love people making a commitment to each other I love love I want people to um feel safe and secure you know what the prophet Khalil Gibran said on marriage he said always leave enough room f or the Winds of the Heavens to dance between you oh I mean what on Earth more can I even say say to that that's just the most beautiful c lothes thank you for that and before we go I'm asking each woman who joins me the same set of questions which is if you think about yourself as a little girl and if you could describe her in three words which three words would you choose shy feisty foreign s to describe the woman that you are today [Music] shy feisty and tough thank you so much for doing this honestly II have to run and pick up my son from school okay I hope I see you soon yeah for sure so grateful for your time and support and for sure I'm here for you stay in touch get my number Pam huge thanks to you huge thanks love you too thank you so much bye sorry I gotta run and get the little one [Music] and before I wrapped things up with Sophie I couldn't pass up the chance to ask her her three words as well so if you were to have three words to describe yourself as a little girl what three e words you would choose you're killing me okay sensitive courageous and funny I'm funny you are really funny I know it's so true though you're so funny and cheeky I'm quite cheap great sense of humor okay so then three words to describe yourself today now oh you just triggered something like I just felt that I hope I can say those three words again that's incredible courageous sensitive and funny because I've been doing so much work to go back to that little Sophie inside of me through all the adversity through all my own struggles and I'm I'm II found her so I'm gonna continue to take care of her and I love that so much Sophie thank you thank you thank you I'm so grateful for your time and for you being here and I can't wait to see you soon um but just thank you it's just huge gratitude for you being so candid and sharing like this I think it's going to um make a big impact it certainly has for me so thank you my friend this was it was really great thank you it was really deep and be autiful so I just hope it resonates it's the only thing I hope for and thank you to everybody in the studio yes who was there too thank s team Sophie I'll talk to you soon big kiss thank you bye bye bye great conversations with some great women today and it made me think growing up I used to love I Love Lucy and also occasionally watch Leave It to Beaver both of these shows by the way had The Good Wife and the good mom archetype locked solid as it cartoons do you remember Wilma Flintstone from The Flintstones or Jane Jetson from The Jetsons Wilma wore pearls and Jane was always perfectly polished the happy housewife with a perfect apron dinner in the oven husband slippers by the door this was all aspirational to me and being a mom was too I'd saved my allowance to buy a real diaper bag from Kmart real moms have you know I didn't want the fake one for my fake doll I longed to be a mom as as much as I long to be a wife and at the same time also at a young age I was a feminist and despite what people would think I didn't find those things to be mutually exclusive the pressures imposed being a mom a good mom or a good wife the ideals we try to live up to and the expectations we self-impose as we heard today we're pretty trapping they're in many ways a fallacy because you can be a feminist and be feminine you can clutch your pearls one day and let your curls Be Wild the next you can be a working mom in or out of the house and you can have drinks with friends after putting your baby to bed you can be the mom who says she needs a break for just a minute and then if you 're like me sits in bed scrolling through pictures of you guessed it your kids and you can be the mom who never misses a school pickup or drop off and bakes the perfect cookies or be the one who buys the cookies from the store because that works Too just as you can be the wife whose claim to fame is making pot roast or the wife who admittedly makes only one thing well reservations I have friends who are like a ll of the above and they all are we are all doing the best that we can so maybe it's time to let go of these archetypes these challenge ing limiting archetypes riddled with so much judgment so it's less about that's the right way to do it that's the wrong way to do it she's a good mom she's a good wife no she's a bad mom she's a bad wife and instead just focus on one thing Being a good person as I once read out Beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field I'll meet you there as ever I'm Meghan and I can't wait to be with you again next week have a good one.
Quick disclaimer. Everything in this video and all of my videos are my opinion based on detailed research that I perform. That said, I would recommend doing your own research before you make up your mind. Thank you. [Music] When Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Duke and Duchess of Sussex, stepped down from their positions as working royals and moved to the United States in what the British media dubbed "Megxit," the couple gave up several privileges afforded to royals of their station. For instance, in early 2021, Buckingham Palace confirmed that per the orders of Queen Elizabeth II, Harry and Meghan would lose their patronages and honorary titles.
The palace said in a statement at the time. "Following conversations with the Duke, The Queen has written confirming that in stepping away from the work of The Royal Family it is not possible to continue with the responsibilities and doobies that come with a life of public service." Among these titles that the couple had to give up was Prince Harry's honorary position as Captain General of the Royal Marines. Now, another member of Harry's family has taken up the title himself his father King Charles III. "I think responsibility is the most important thing. It's the actual trust that's put in you to deal with other people." Since Harry gave up the title of Captain General of the Royal Marines, there has been a great deal of speculation about which member of the royal family would adopt the role, as the late Queen Elizabeth specified it needed to be held by a working royal.
Most assumed it would go to Princess Anne. The actual decision surprised everyone. Just one day after the announcement that Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, is releasing his memoir, titled "Spare," King Charles announced that he is taken on the title of Captain General of the Royal Marines. In a message to the Royal Marines in celebration of the unit's 358th year, the King stated, "It is the greatest possible pleasure to assume the role of your Captain General. I am exceptionally proud of fall in the footsteps of so many members of my family over the last three-and-a-half centuries all of whom held a role with a deep sense of admiration." He went on to say, "I feel greatly honored to become part of the Corps Family and very much look forward to meeting many of you in the near future." It has been widely rumored that Harry would be stunned to lose this particular title, due to his own years of military service. But the Duke of Sussex has not released any type of statement related to the news that his father has taken on the role.
Currently, Harry is getting plenty of press for his upcoming memoir, which is slated to be released on January 10, 2023. The title, "Spare" refers to the age-old idea that monarchies need both an "heir and a spare" to Ensure their survival across generations. In Harry's case, the heir, of course, is his older brother, William, Prince of Wales making Harry the lifelong "spare." Promising to tell his own story in his own words, the upcoming book is likely the first place fans will be able to learn about the Duke of Sussex's true feelings regarding things like giving up his patronages and titles when choosing to move his family across the pond .
Co-written with ghostwriter JR Moehringer, Harry's upcoming book is the first installment of a multi-book deal with publisher Penguin Random House. The Duke of Sussex is rumored to have made $20 million via this book contract, as it is expected to become an instant bestseller – but depending on what the book actually says it may cause a serious rift with his family. This move by King Charles to take one of Harry's titles as his own maybe just the start. [Music] Check out one of our newest videos right here! Plus, even more LMT videos about the royal family are coming soon. Subscribe to LMT channel and hit the bell so you don't miss a single one. [Music].