PAX Online Day 5 – Stream 3 – Goose Theatre

screen in fact that's what I'm
going to do right now I'm going to take this lovely mug of tea
to drink every morning and I'm going to turn off my camera step
away from my computer and said that I hope you have a great
time at Pax online and I hope you visit AFK online what you
can find through the packs website there's an AFK page and
there's a link to AFK online right there and come visit if
you need it thanks I have a great day I keep running out of HP how do
I keep my health up from unconscious in the underdark
unconscious thank you so much for your question I'm so happy
to try to help I've really been working on my mentorship skills
now that I'm taking care of the new C team recruits but I have
to admit I wasn't sure what HP one I asked my totally platonic
friend palton what HP was and he laughed at me but he said it has
something to do with like not dying so I assume it means happy
and healthy cheese feelings but I definitely have lots of those
because I am a servant of the morning Lord Lysander have you
heard about levander if not let me know because I would love to
tell you about him but anyway you said you keep running out of
HP well I can't honestly say that
something that happens too much to me as a 12th level Paladin
theoretically if it was hard for me to keep my happy healthy PCS
up I would probably invest time and some good old-fashioned
Adventurer self care sworn the oath of the Ancients myself I
like to go looking for Rejuvenation in nature
especially in the morning the sunset this morning was
amazing the morning or really outdid himself I mean if that's
even possible but every morning I think it is because it's so
gosh darn beautiful and okay yeah but the the sunset this
morning was amazing oh but you know how love is like a flower
like a sunflower one time my professional acquaintance with a
pen pal Omen want set me a pressed sunflower in a letter
and I thought about how love like sunflowers always bears and
fruit or seeds and from those thieves gross new life and new
life is just like the dawn like what the end of the morning Lord
is that amazing everything comes back to levander Banner with
Banner with hey my name is Akash the car and
I'm Ryan Ike and This Is Us calamity so before we get into
anything let's start with a little story those of you who
were born or lived in North America for a really long time
you probably know about Niagara Falls or does a choo choo choo
set of waterfalls that spans the border between USA and Canada if
you're born anywhere near the border you have to go it's like
a tourism rite of passage but in the 1960s they turned it off
core of army Engineers came together and actually shut the
waterfalls off cuz they wanted to see if they could give it a
face-lift and repair stuff around it so they took one of
the biggest waterfalls in the world and just shut it off so
they put up a bunch of stuff a bunch of barricades to block it
and took something that had massive momentum and massive
force behind it and just made it and that sort of situation is
kind of what we're dealing with right now whether you had tons
of momentum before 20/20 or not a lot of things are on hold a
lot of things are cost for flag of a better word
and when so much is happening in the world so much tragedy and
turmoil and just vs is going on we as create 10 to wonder if
things are ever going to continue if they're ever going
to get back to normal if they're ever going to be better again so
hopefully through this talk we can do what the engineer's day
with Niagara Falls after a.

Got Pawz they released it and
everything went back to normal again and hopefully we can give
you some ideas on how to get your way back to some degree of
creativity for activity happiness Focus, whatever it
maybe if we can help you even 1% then that would be amazing so
let's get into Who We Are and I'm Ryan and I'm a composer and
sound designer for the work on things like west of loathing
Reigns Game of Thrones and where the water tastes like the car I do sound design for
video games of all time games like Destiny hyper light Drifter
concrete Genie and I bunch of others and I also do a lot of
public speaking in and out of the game industry to help
creatives Thrive especially in times like these so in this talk
we're going to be covering to kind of Maine Broad topics the
first is staying sane and focused during all of this and
the second is staying or becoming creative so for those
of you who have a creative location that you already do
bring it back into your life making it more of a focus and
making it so that it becomes a centerpiece of your life again
if it did indeed Fall Away during all of the stuff that's
going on which is completely understandable so with so many
people being hit hard over and over and over again all over the
world how should we even stay sane how should we stay focused
I should we even stay creative or thoughtful or imaginative if
you're anything like me and unless you've melted a plastic
cutting board and destroyed your mom's oven trying to make a
Totino's party pizza you're not like me you're better but let's
if you're like me right now it feels like you're constantly
being pulled between the desire to be productive to live a
balanced life and to help others during some possible time
tending to it seems like a fresh personal or national or Global
disaster literally every day being a creative freelancer is
fucking hard and keeping yourself in a healthy mental
place where you feel like you have all these factors under
control can be difficult in the world doesn't feel like it's all
in the part so well what we're talking about here is always
important for what we do it's even more vital in this
incredibly challenging moment comes out is kind of like being
trapped under a car next to a shrieking anthropomorphic
warthog monster really wants to show you pictures of his trip to
Graceland a fucking suck you don't really understand how it
happened and you have no idea when it's going to be over so
what we talkin about here are ways that you can develop a
healthy mentality around your life as a freelancer and then
expand that mentality to help you not a to buy this impossible
situation we're all in but driving it and survived Beyond
it's another point I'd like to bring up is all about managing
news and social media.

And social media we become
happier we could come or saying we become more focused and
that's not really surprising to anybody but yet so many of us
engage with it cuz frankly it's addictive they wanted to be a
detective they wanted to actually make us angry because
that's an addictive emotion and we want to keep clicking and do
scrolling and getting making things worse and worse and worse
for us so one thing I'll say is that you don't need to stay
up-to-date on everything yes catch up every so often but you
don't need to be watching the news 24/7 or scrolling Twitter
24/7 to see what the trending stories are every single hour of
every single day at yes of course you can catch up you can
do what you need to do but just checking on the news constantly
just makes things worse for you and makes it harder for us to
act and harder for us to really do much of anything If all we're
doing is Doom scrolling all the time so obviously we limit our
exposure to that but the main thing is not watching mainstream
media and out of this audience I don't think that's going to be
be to top of a because we tend to be a little more savvy than
are weird uncle on Facebook is posting conspiracy theories all
the time but it's just something to keep in mind that means
stream media makes its money off of making you an us angry that's
how they make their money and it's something that we do wants
to avoid day today because frankly we don't want to stay
informed from them if it means we're seeing it through a lens
of complete pessimism and in a lens that makes it so that they
make money off of other people's frankly misery and when it comes
to social media don't be afraid to just block on following mute
everything and everyone my Twitter I've blocked basically
every word in the English language and it is pure and
clean but one thing I will tell you to do on Twitter which has
been massively helpful on the right hand side there's like a
trending news sort of section and I change the country of that
from the US which obviously all know is a garbage fire and I
trained that to Saudi Arabia I don't speak Arabic at all and I
have no idea what's going on over there so now I see a bunch
of news Michael's over on the right instead of just a bunch of
us nonsense I see a bunch of Saudi Arabia news that I can't
even read so it makes it so it doesn't even permeate into me
and caused me to get angry and doom scroll and make my day
worse and worse and prevent me from becoming more and more
creative and being able to serve people like you so that's just a
fun little tip for you so cash is absolutely correct about
finding ways to be more choosy and careful about your exposure
to news without completely checking out but I'm someone who
really Hales political news because I really care about
those issues and how they're affecting people and the World
At Large but I only got good at limiting my consumption to it
this year I going to kind of engine on it and then feeling
horrible 4 days to just checking in every now and then and still
awful a but then I feel a lot healthier and happier and able
to do my job because I'm limiting my consumption but what
if you're someone who feels that limiting your exposure to all
the horrible things going on and all the awful things happen to
people will also limit your ability to help how can you be a
good Ally if you don't know what's going on all the time
this is something I worry about a lot but there's a huge
difference between staying healthy lean form so you can
pitch in and do what you can as an ally and taking in so much
depressing news that you're basically Dumbledore at the end
of the Half Blood Prince when he's drinking like that huge
boil the poison a book I found out earlier this year was
actually written by a cute dog who learned to use a typewriter
and has no loud and regressive opinions about anyone's gender
identity what's so near not all bad news the difference
between hurting yourself and being healthy so you can help
others is to take in all the horrible news Tactical but when
you are engaged in catching up with what's going on in the
world note two causes that you care about the people being hurt
or disadvantaged animals being abused environmental causes
education the Arts whatever might be then I recommend
scheduling a set amount of time every week 20 to 30 minutes is
fine to me less as you need or want and set aside that time to
actually what you can do to help you can about that time to
researching donating to Charities supporting the things
you care about even five to ten bucks is really helpful
especially if you have the space to do a recurring monthly to
sort of thing you can sign petitions and spread them around
you could write a blog post highlighting an issue that you
feel isn't getting enough representation options for
helping a person or of course limited right now but if you're
able a lot of homeless shelters women shelters in animal
sanctuaries are actually offering socially distance ways
to drop off donated items or supplies or even volunteer while
still being mindful of Cobra and keeping yourself safe you can do
more personal acts of service to from checking in on friends and
family to see how they're doing especially when two or more
isolated to just doing a chore or making a meal so an
overworked or over stressed spouse who's is also suffering
in the World At Large doesn't have to if turning away from the
news even partially for your own health feels like turning a
blind eye to the chaos going on in the world right now setting
aside just a little bit of time every week provided what is this just a bystander watching is a
train Koreans towards the edge of a broken bridge for a few
moments every week Spider-Man parts of the engine
in casting out webs trying to slow it down no single web is
going to stop it but altogether together over time you can lend
a lot of physical and mental well-being the others while
still preserving your own now when it comes to asking for help
that's okay that's the one thing that we really want to hammer
home here as that's like the most OK thing in the world
asking for help is actually a very Noble thing to do instead
of keeping it all inside because no one can help you unless they
know that you need something from your friends or family a
professional whatever it may be and one thing we do want to make
very clear is that you never a burden if you reach out even if
it's something that you feel isn't a big deal like maybe
you're just dealing with sickness of a pet or something
like that and compared quote-unquote to the rest of the
world you may think so but that's not so bad I'm not
dealing with something as bad as everyone else that may be true
and some level but also if you're feeling it if it is sad
if it is getting in the way of your day if it is making it so
that you can't function as well as you were then that is worth
reaching out for it is a okay to ask for help even if you feel
that the thing that you want help with isn't as big as other
things in the world even reaching out people will be
happy to help you friends are thrilled to help you in those
sorts of circumstances so 20/20 feels like being dragged to see
cats in theaters accept the projector doesn't work right so
the movie on the moves at 1/4 speed and then freezes right
when it was Albus spinning butt hole first into a mid-air
cartwheel during this trying time I felt overwhelmed
unprepared or just not able to handle things a lot and
ninety-nine percent of the time when I felt that way asking for
help with her that was a friend calling my my wife someone I
just knew decently well on social media that salt that we develop this
unfortunate habit of trying to do everything ourselves in the
one that doesn't work when it falls down we try to fix it
ourselves and you'd be surprised how often simply asking someone
for help just is the answer if you're worried about bothering
people remember that like I mentioned earlier a lot of
people out there actively looking for ways to help whether
it's globally are nationally or you know just interpersonal and
the person who helps you might end up feeling really good to
have gotten a chance so next time I feels like being trapped
in slow motion showing of cats and cinnamon during it just
consider asking the guy at the concession stand if you'll just
turn off the projector for you like I'm I'm sorry I just like I
can't do it Judi Dench is a cinnamon of treasure and they
made her look like a fucking monster and I just can't look at
it anymore and Julio's got you off and make the bed movie go
away and you're good so give it a try side of that coin helping other
people as I talked quite a bit earlier when we touch done
trying to be a good Ally right now a lot of us are seeing how
difficult things are friends family strangers Etc in we want
to do it we can help and that's wonderful tell me a story should
but I keeping remember is not to let your desire to help others
turn into self-loathing and negative thoughts when you can't
sometimes we're just not in a position to do much for others
absolutely donate volunteer raise awareness of important
issues start a podcast or video series to raise awareness
whatever it is that you can do to help but if your life just
doesn't allow for those things right now and at times
everyone's doesn't take the time to focus on you and what you
need if you catch yourself feeling bad that you can't do it
all remember that will you can't nobody can trying
to keep your own work and personal ads balanced is already
difficult enough without getting yourself up for not taking care
of everybody else on your own so yeah even if you do to be a
force of good and change in the world you still need to take
care of yourself so that you can take care of other people now
you've all heard of self-care we've heard those words put
together a trillion times but I think there's a little bit of
murkiness when it comes to learning about self-care and
Performing self care on ourselves when we do practice
real true self care at least the better for your foot if it's
leads to being rested it leads to this feeling better overall
but we tend to confuse self-care with Self Indulgence to rethink
of self-care many of us tend to think things like oh I had a bad
day something happened something on the way I was late for
something whatever it may be how many 40 Donuts that's not right
healthcare that is more self it doesn't really help us out of
the city Jason that were in or doesn't prevent future bad
situations from happening as much as we can possibly control
that true self care is doing something that will prevent some
sort of problem will help us out in a situation in the future
down the line was it be learning and watching helpful YouTube
video talking to a friend talking to a parent talking to a
real often we tend to mistakes that
sort of self-care with things hanging Doom scrolling getting
sucked into social media overeating like effing crazy
even though I love donuts in one sitting no problem those two
things don't actually help us an often we feel worse after the
fact to practice of self-care is deposit really think about what
are the things that give you energy when was the last time
you look up doing something that wasn't work and you realize that
more time had passed any thought I want to make clear that
doesn't have to be meaningful just restorative for you
specifically so you don't have to learn to meditate or scale
mountains in your free time unless those specific things
give you energy and you want to if taking up soap making and
creating custom fragrances for all your friends causes you to
get so lost in it that you don't realize what you've done until
you've been tuned yourself inside a Bath & Body Works of
your own design I mean that's great Counterpoint if binging 8
episodes of selling Sunset hep C recharge because watching
Christine the human drama tornado put on a neon green
heels and I drew an 18 franchise poor breakfast makes you feel
like you could do anything go for it We fall into is that we
spend our limited free time on things that don't recharge us
playing a game we're not feeling any more picking up a hobby
because we've been made to feel like that's what we should be
doing right now so think about what restores you will give you
that energy back and do it so let's summarize staying sane
section the number one and make sure you manage your exposure to
news and social media because that will help you quite a bit
even just that alone number to you can be there for others
without draining yourself you do need to take care of yourself so
that you can take care of others and number three you want to be
intentional with your self care don't want to just go in to Self
Indulgence some of that totally fine I'm not saying eating a
donut is always bad cuz I've done it we've all done it we
don't want to always go down that path when it comes to
taking care of ourselves so we talked about how to care for
yourself how to care for others so let's first talk about
something that might feel even further Out Of Reach right now
which is how do we make stuff talk to a lot of fellow
musicians artists programmers writer since this year started
in a, dark spot that we're all kind of having is is it even
worth that people need health care they need housing then you
clean air and water and a hopeful future and it just
doesn't feel like my art matters now doesn't doesn't and the
short answer that question but I can already feel some of you
sing along with me is Animal Crossing forgive me I don't
remember who but I heard someone say that that game probably
saves lives this year and as silly as that sounds I think
it's true they gave people living in the scary uncertain
World a place where they could feel like they were in control a
place it was cute and kind and colorful and you can make it
into whatever you wanted the place where when we feel
completely isolated we can still hang out with her friends and
family and feel that connection place for my goddamn turn up
never sell for more than 46 fucking Belle's comp what do you
want for me have I not given you everything in here and capitalism aside a
game about cute animals as did that for people in a time of
unprecedented crisis are is how we impact the world given what
we do and you don't know what affect yours is going to have
like what solace is going to bring people so it absolutely
matters and I would argue it matters now more than during
normal times so yeah by not giving up we're actually able to
help others like Ryan was saying with Animal Crossing when people
are trapped at home during a pandemic what are they engaging
with their engaging with the work that creative people are
making if it wasn't for that stuff people would be way more
bored bored and way more worse off than they are now so
thankfully we have creative people for still creating
despite all the stuff that's going on and I hope that's going
to be you as well so remember you never really know what
Comfort or Escape or insights someone else will get from your
work and more importantly you don't get to decide that for
them if you quit just because you assume people have no use
for what you're making right now that's exactly what you're doing
so how do we must have the energy to actually be creative
when it's just the Final Act of Ghostbusters happening outside
your window all the time and no Sigourney Weaver's not there so
it's basically pointless well you don't have to make a huge
Masterpiece in one guy that's really important give yourself
permission start small remember that 10 minutes of creativity a
day just 10 minutes is literally infinitely better than nothing
at all and we start small start really small even if you falling
off of a habit that used to have rebuild it in really small
chunks and you can use something that's called tiny habits which
is proven in psychological research to bring habits back up
to speed or to start new ones completely from scratch and a
tiny have it is really simple all the time you have it is is
doing something so laughably small every single day that it's
impossible guitar and you want to get back
into playing guitar well instead of saying OK my practice 6 hours
a day every single day I'm going to get back to it I'm going to
turn into it no that doesn't work doesn't work instead we say
to ourselves okay I'm going to play one chord and that's it
that's it for the entire day if you play one chord if you do one
pushup if you walk around the block or take two steps outside
whatever it may be win and of course the funny thing that will
happen is that you play one chord you do one pushup you
start to think the way more than that it's
stupid I could want to do way more it makes it much easier to
go further when we start with a very small goal in mind that I
recommend you do this for literally any have it that you
want to build start unbelievably small to the point where you
think it's almost pointless to do that thing that's the right
size of tiny have it to start with and let's say you're not
able to improve yourself at all let's say you couldn't write one
more word when you get the day before it get down one more line
of code compose one more know if you literally haven't improved
at all since the last time you tried that's okay to forgive
yourself and you try again you will get that snowball rolling
as long as you don't stop because you didn't see progress
from one day to the next so what are we discussed well for one
your art could help someone a great deal without you ever
really knowing how or where or why people need that kind of
thing now more than a peaceful time so you making what you make
is arguably more important now than it normally is and doing
next to nothing is still better infinitely better than doing
nothing at all and your productivity doesn't relate to
your worth as a person just because you may be on hold you
may be positive maybe taking some rest you may be helping
others whatever it may be that doesn't mean you're the worst
person for not treating all the time that's not what we're
trying to say here trying to say is that if you do want to get
back from that if you do want to help others if you feel you have
the capacity to do that here are some some and how you start in a
couple final takeaways I think it's really important to
remember that these times won't last forever I'm not saying that
racial Injustice or political upheaval pandemic is just going
to disappear but people are fighting against these things
and they're going to keep fighting against these horses in
overtime these things probably won't go away but they are going
to get better remind yourself that the skills are developing
right now during this extremely challenging time are just useful
now they're going to serve you the rest of your life or other
things are crazy out there or not you're likely going to look
back on all this and say it was awful it sucks there was
something about Idris elba's paint flipping through the air I
don't really understand the analogy he was making and that
particular moment but the point is it was really bad and I came
out stronger because of it and now I'm more capable of being a
better more resilient creative who is more capable of helping
themselves and helping others is this year is for a lot of people
these sorts of hard times can really shape us into just a
powerful mjolnir that we can use to crush all of our enemies in
the future all seriousness it does make a big difference with
those of us who do power through it as best as we can in whatever
way is healthy for us whatever that may look like for you that
will make us better people better able to help in the
future better able to deal with hard times in the future and
better able to stay creative give relief to others and even
ask for help of others as well a one more thing please if you
have follow-up questions or other unrelated questions or you
just want to say hi please reach out to us we always offer and no
one ever does it but we really are happy to help so feel free to hit us up if we can
do something for you like Ryan said get in touch please so many
people come to our talks and then say I didn't want to email
you and bother you know he was her contact info please get in
touch we are happy to speak to you further so thank you so much
for coming out thank you for watching our talk we really
really appreciate it again please get in touch and we'll
talk to you soon this is Mars an adventure game
said before during and after the big bang Cosmic gunshot aimed at the
heart of a god Rockets the universe into existence and must
be undone explore the expanding Universe
to discover Clues on how you might destroy the Big Bang and
prevent this tragedy you'll stumble through CD
speakeasies transform energy into matter create far out Jazz duets discover what's inside a gas
giant track animals to primeval Woods watch Stars die is film Noir creation myth Kenmore at Genesis more game.
Com and help destroy the universe universe my name is Eve crochet and I'm
the executive director of take this a mental health nonprofit
that serves the game industry you may know take this as a Pax
attendee in the past from r a f k room switch are a feature of
in-person conventions and here we are at Pax online with a
online and one of the reasons that so important is because
just like in a regular can imperson convention a space that
you can go to to relax and quiet your mind and take a a break
from the intensity of the convention is important here to
and the reason we care about this and the reason this is
something even to talk about is because of online convention
that only is it new it's also pretty intense experience in
ways that word I used to and so I'm here to help you identify
some ways to take care of yourself stay calm and feel like
you have your tools for self-care so I encourage you to
remember even though packs online is a 24/7 convention for
9 days that it's okay to miss things you will in fact Miss
many things things it's okay to feel like you're not finding
your friends you will in fact not always find your friends
online it's okay to feel like this is strange Okay to feel
distracted and it's probably going to happen manager
expectations and understand that this is a strange experience and
a strange new way of working it's fine it's okay and take
breaks walk away give yourself the opportunity to rest and
recharge just like a regular convention the same basic
self-care principles apply get enough sleep eat proper meals drink plenty of
water and walk away from your screen in fact that's what I'm
going to do right now I'm going to take this lovely mug of tea
to drink every morning and I'm going to turn off my camera step
away from my computer and set the I hope you have a great time
at Pax online and I hope you visit AFK online what you can
find through the packs website there's an AFK page and there's
a link to AFK online right there and come visit if you need it
thanks I have a great day what Warriors and Adventure game set
before during and after the big bang Cosmic gunshot aimed at the
heart of a god Rockets the universe into existence and must
be undone explore the expanding Universe
to discover Clues on how you might destroy the Big Bang and
prevent this tragedy you'll stumble through CD
speakeasies transform energy into matter create far out Jazz duets discover what's inside a gas
giant track animals to primeval Woods watch Stars die is film Noir creation myth more igenesis more game.

Com and
help destroy the universe universe strange Okay to feel distracted
and it's probably going to happen manage your expectations and
understand that this is a strange experience and estranged
strange new way of working it's fine it's okay and take breaks
walk away give yourself the opportunity to rest and recharge
just like a regular convention the same basic self-care
principles apply get enough sleep eat proper meals drink plenty of
water and walk away from your screen in fact that's what I'm
going to do right now I'm going to take this lovely mug of tea
to drink every morning and I'm going to turn off my camera step
away from my computer I hope you have a great time at
Pax online and I hope you visit AFK online what you can find
through the packs website there's an AFK page and there's
a link to AFK online right there and come visit if you need it
thanks I have a great day what spaces are Round Table on
asexuality and that entire Spectrum in all of the greatest
places out there in our world of the TTR cheap RPG community ourselves and then we're going
to jump right into it will start off with Joey Buy my name is
Joey pronouns are he and him and I m o t t e r p c content
creator on Twitch and put her as nomadic next up is luciella 310 Scarlet my friends and she
her and they even in from Melbourne Australia I am a
Russian Illustrated making tabletop role-playing games Sam my pronouns are they them
and I'm a disability Advocate and then accessibility director with you and my pronouns are she
her and I am a ttrpg content creator and Community manager
for the D&D adventurers League I'm Lauren my pronouns are she
her I am a game designer and streamer and the co-creator of
the TT RPGs safety toolkit can see me around Twitter on the
D&D Fitness #and also in my big campaign that I just finished
running for charity out on YouTube and hopefully with some
publish content coming up soon Welcome to our panel and we're
going to jump right into this as we have a limited amount of time
to talk with you and I am just open up as a discussion so first
thing I think we want to just chat about a little bit is just
some of the arrow Ace and Demi sort of myths and stereotypes
that we've all bumped into out there either in or ttrpg experiences or just a a
creative content creator out there in the world so I'm going
to start opening up for table and let folks sort of talked
about some of the things that they bumped into or think that
they'd like to just let people know more about being a person
on the AC Spectrum first or I can just jump right
in I'ma go first with the one with we are not robots I think a
lot of people immediately think a and think emotionless hope
people who don't know how to experience emotions or
relationships or and certainly because of the whole spectrum
that is involved with it how to understand romance or love and
which is I think far from the truth for a lot of us while we
may not have that piece of sexual attraction I know for
myself it makes some of the other things even more
meaningful to me I mean how about some of y'all yeah go ahead it's okay yeah that makes so much sense
and is the truest thing like I I love fiercely so there's
definitely kind of know at least for me there's no basis in that
in Motionless type of person like I love fiercely I feel
fiercely I may not always show it but in here there's always a whole
lot going on mean I I come from I realize
that I was on the Spectrum later in life I probably maybe 5 or 6 years ago that I
might that I might be ace I consider myself Demi but yes like realizing it it it
made a lot of sense realizing that that was
something that might be a part of my personality like I mean is I've had
relationships I you know at some point in the future might like
to have more relationships but it's just that I don't
necessarily need that physical part of it at least the sexual
part of it cuz I love intimacy like cuddles are the best
everybody cuddle everybody should cuddle I just don't need that sexual
part to be fulfilled fulfilled yep I have also been missing
cuddles on romantic and asexual and the
Stereotype that I actually do like my child Photoshop image of
a but it's actually the idea of a to be forever alone that you
will happy endings run off to the sunset together
or is he a sexuals like and in some cases need anyone else I'm an
independent that stuff but I actually do like companions I
like cuddling I like found family I cry a lot when I read
friends and family and beautiful friendships sorry yes I'm a e i
it's a sexuality and I Romanticism and not about being
alone it's just a different type of wits all it is is not feeling
attraction that's rings so true I mean
we've got three folks talked about cuz so I think it was the
other ones I'm going to throw it over to Lawrence am enjoys your
butt a salon X Burberry Touch starved because of that stair
tread let me do all finds that as well Joey Sam or or Lauren actually I wanted to that like there is no one has
experienced because I ate I agree that yeah a lot of times
it is people like people who aren't in relationships can be
very touch starved because the idea of physical intimacy is
related to the Romantic for the sexual but like a lot of times
if you say all I want is representation the well-meaning
allosexual the your life will be like yes more play tonic
cuddling as if the idea of Ace representation is platonic
cuddling when a lot of asexual people are an aromantic people
end allosexual and Ella romantic people are Touch of verse and so the idea that like to represent an asexual or
aromantic person is like somebody who just cuddles play
tonically is not is not that like it's very
uncomfortable and also the idea that East people don't ever have sex
or can't enjoy sex like split between like sexual
attraction vs.

Sexual desire vs. like the nerve endings firing
and sending chemicals to your brain like Parts about sex like I'm a gray sexual person which
means that I experienced occasional sexual attraction but
like that doesn't make me any less a dad and a demisexual person or
somebody who's totally asexual I can actually speak on the touch
aversion and I very I don't know I'm I'm freshly out is a
Citizens has been about a year experience for me is a lot of
Education in and still learning and honestly that is a big thank
you to all spot for being open about it on the twitterverse you had posted something else
while ago and like it was like oh that's a lightbulb bulb low
so but I don't know if my aversion to touch is because of
being like a s t or based on Lake Ace however like
things like holding hands and kissing and even when couples
are kind of funny okay because there are you know
there are people on the base you know Spectrum better are totally
open to that and that's the thing and that's okay but
there's also some of us were just like I just like being in
your presence I just like being around you and that's good
enough for me I mean I think when everyone's a
little bit here is just like all sexuality is it to Spectrum I
mean Sandy when I chimed in Lake gnome actually it's definitely a still like a
learning curve kind of in I guess we're figuring out exactly
what I'm comfortable with and just sort of figuring out this
new version of me like it's what I've always felt like but I
never had a name or anything for it so you know have that one
clock you at 31 years of age is a fun adventure here to sort
through like like you know the forever
alone stereotype and or the robotics ISM that kind of
thing I'm actually I am I need a long-term relationship I've
engaged so that actually sort of those stereotypes made it harder
for me to figure out you know who I am and that I am a just
because I was very much stuck in those mines that's as well but
I'm I'm in a relationship almost eleven years now I don't know it's it's
definitely more of there's no monolith or anything like that and I even oscillate wildly
between sort of touch of version and not its changes like even
individuals are on that spectrum of sort of oscillating between
what we're comfortable with and what we need is well I come in I can only
speak to myself but what what you mean so describing around
the fact that once once he knew your Ace a few things I think Joey's Sub
said that as well send a it like in a pasta it
felt like a particular type of touch with it I'm probably still sex repulsed
or at least partly 6 or the cuddling and the potato
right now I don't feel attraction that sort of thing I am quite
comfortable with and I actually launch sorry that idea on indefinitely I think one of
the most sorry please I discovered that I was a sphere
Tumblr which is just a Minefield of a phobia was the idea that
Ace people weren't queer and because I like Sam M engaged
in a long-term relationship for also almost eleven years so go
us I am engaged to a straight man so for a long time I thought
that I was straight and I thought that you could be both
straight and Ace and that is extremely isolating because I
think a lot of a lot of these people don't really feel like
there is a community of aces around like we don't talk about
it as much because talking about being Ace means that you have to
talk about sex and generally we don't want to talk about sex I for a long time I thought I
was straight and thought I was alone so I think yeah just the
the myth that gets propagated that like these people are not
queer that you can only be clear if your Ace and you have
romantic attraction to somebody you know of the that is not a b that is not heteroromantic is is extremely damaging so
that's it that's a bad Miss if you believe that you're wrong that was something that I
struggled with when I first began to suspect because I was
engaged to to what we thought at this at the time was a straight
man what would he would he he believed he was straight as a
time and we now know that he is not but it began a.

Of Discovery
for both of us like you know I was beginning to feel very sexy
for pulse because he like believing that he was a
straight man and me and having that feeling that if I have a
straight man this is what I need to be doing was you know and
everything was fine and consensual and it was something
that we were both you know okay with but at the time I was like
I was beginning to feel that way and it was frustrating him and
then I came out with that and it was something that you know just
kind of began that Journey for both of us I cannot tell you how
he hadn't if I see is a beautiful rainbow of a man but like I struggled a lot with
where I sit in the space like around the time I was beginning
to suspect that I really was Ace I had gone to a conventional all
the conventions now it's like they give you the ribbons where
is like you're either a gamer or you're an Allied and it looks
like looking at a gamer a tour & Ally and and you know I'm
looking at these ribbons and I'm like well I might be ace but I
don't feel like a gamer I'm going to take this Allied ribbon
cuz you know that feeling that you know if people are not clear
we don't belong in the space it's like I mean it is but like
more instead it's really isolated very much so I think yo I again I've liked your eye
well I had self-identified I wasn't really out until about 2
to two-and-a-half years going to first time I wore my colors were
there is at Gen Con 2018 and that June was when I swear the
first really I had kind of known my own identity probably for 5
or 6 years by that point but unless it really someone's world
was asking more probing into what was that point what was
wrong with me though it was very much something that I was not
trying to Advocate and bring visibility to but I think as I
realize more and more just how little visibility there is and
you again coming out later yo coming out in a public way later
in life and even sort of discovering myself later in life
it was it was interesting just just to
see the number of people who still didn't realize that there
was an identity that fit them that yo they weren't broken and
that yo most yolk those people don't even
understand that there are sort of two different legs of
Attraction both romantic attraction and sexual attraction
and you the 3rd like that that I would love to bring more days
with you is you aesthetic attraction and those three
things you always a stool for a lot of people to pillar all
three things are in a line and they are inseparable but for a
lot of us those are our three very separate things and can
make it very confusing yo I'm home alone static I am a very
much aesthetically attracted to the mail form which of course in
1980s South Georgia yo he's gay if you like looking at guys
better than you like looking at girls want to sleep with any of
them so it's I think that education piece to eat to go
beyond even the romantic and sexual to rent romantic sexual
anesthetic is still a huge transition that people need to make across the
boat the queer Spectrum in even the straight Spectrum to
understand that it's okay to be yo straight but you by aesthetic
yo that's perfectly okay and it's okay to eat at home or static
but be sexually straight is still fine it's just I think
it's a huge education huge education hard knowledge piece
that is missing that I'm hoping that you're part of us doing
this and other folks go through all the different
formats that we have can bring more attention to yeah I like to
make the joke that we have a so we're in this week in October
and it's a week long because that is how long it takes to
explain the difference between remote and sexual attraction and
then like if you want to talk about is that I could traction I
think that's like a whole other week honestly mean I know for me at least like
sort of having that realization of there's a difference just was
mind-blowing and in my case at least that was very much what
made things so where to start to collect in fall into place like that aesthetic and romantic
attraction is not equivalent to a sexual attraction and I
definitely think if that is something that just society as a
whole can build on and especially just a pet
something that more openly has like a thing I
think would be wonderful are you sure yeah I think if we
if we think about the lgbtq community and the words that
make up those does the alphabet soup like they're all sexual we have your homosexuals you
have your bisexual you know if you're pansexual pansexuals and
then a Romantics are just like chilling in the arrow man in the
room and this idea.

Like everything
about weirdness is related to how you experience sexual
attraction I mean even as a sexual that's how we Define
ourselves by like how we how we experience sexual attraction
when like when like it's and it's so ingrained it's it's so
hard for people to split that up you are bisexual there's a
chance you are also biromantic but you don't call yourself by
romantic bisexual you just call yourself bisexual and assumed
everybody knows that means for a man speaking of you know the lgbtq
acronym that a just general PSA is not for a lie just you yeah like 3 a.m. that it could
be and none of them are out you the quilt bag yellow shut up and let us talk had to get that one off my chest
so absolutely actually makes for a good transition for us and
just heard our next big topic that we want to talk about which
all this being creators or doing creative playthings making content out
there is yo how you yourself can write or incorporate Apes themes
Ace Ace Aro and do my themes in to your work educating other
people on how they can help have visibility inclusion in their
work and also we have a very intersectional group here
amongst us and how that all can sort of blend together to help
just your visibility in general I think that's the biggest thing
that we can take from that our first section there is just how
alone we all felt for so long and even before the start we
were talking a little bit about hey what's a media that has has
great asexual representation all of us were like so yeah I'm going to go ahead
and throw it out there I mean who was Art haven't heard from
you in a while and I know you've been waiting all sorts of great stuff
lately yeah I mean as far as like making characters in TT
RPGs in portraying them as my default
is Ace That's in it when when safety tools are involved lines of veils usually like
romantic stuff or sexual content is usually pretty veiled form
like me but like other characters that have like go
love watching other people have romantic life like it's great
get your smooches on it's not for me and it's not going to be
for my character and it's it's certainly been interesting
because the the thing when it comes to especially performing in front
of an audience or you have a product or something that is in
front of an audience the audience loves to adjust ship
things to do to put people in ships to put characters in ships
and that's great I love it I do it too but if I'm telling you
that my character is space weather here is a player or the
DM at the table or somebody's participating respect that like
don't don't put my character in this other situation hoping that
it's going to you know Fanfare right like don't do that don't respect it like Joey by default my
characters are black left-handed and Ace I'm so sweet is a whole other
can of worms cuz when you consider character creation
there's so little black fan art out there are black art in
general like you know we have to actually spend the money to
commission people which is 5 time doing that but you know
when you're just thinking about what a character looks like like
well I got to go find something that I can give this artist and
then look like Ark but that's beside the point as a romantic asexual or sexual
which is an asexual who must form very very close bonds with
somebody before they can consider you know romantic
attraction or relationship for the romance but similar to
Joey anything further than that is going to go behind that Veil
or not happen at all depending on the relationship that I feel
my character may have a different character so by default you know all that
that is a a factor in in playing games with me and then when I
write characters I try to make sure Romance so very so so often
does not factor into anything that I write you know whether it
be like one shots or or just any sort of kind of any sort of
media where there is a character like romance doesn't really
factored in so but if I if I wrote it you can pretty much be
assured that a good half the 75% of the characters are going to
be a somewhat somewhat I think I'm a little bit of an opposite
for this because I really enjoy playing characters who are
intentionally allosexual were East characters who do have
sex but for non attractive like not attraction reasons but it is always like very
intentional because to me looking at somebody and being
like I would like to do a sex with you sir is about as
imaginary in my head as like casting a fireball spell is like
it's the same it's not real but it does have to be like a
very intentional thing if an and I usually say I usually decide ahead of
time this character is allosexual this character likes
to have sex with people and we'll have sex with usually everybody usually I
don't have like a in between its legs 0 or 60 because that's just fun and interesting to me but I
think for playing and Ace character the starter version is like to
just not have sex or romance in your game and then it just never
comes up but that's not like really representation for me
what is romantic is representation is like having
uncomfortable conversations with potentially a low sexual
partners about like I loved you but I am never going to look at
you and want to have sex with you that doesn't mean we're
never going to have sex but it means that this is something
that where you're going to have to work through because I never
going to look at you and think you're hot or I find you
sexually attractive and we don't like to have those conversations
especially when we put sexual content behind a veil if we are
using like a lines and field system all of a sudden that
takes all discussion of sex off the table kind of have to be open to
having awkward conversations if you fail because bailing sex
beans I would not like to role-play the mechanical aspects
of sex but it doesn't necessarily mean that like I
don't want to ever discuss sex at all that's the point that I had not
considered previously and I do think the awkward conversations like entertaining as you watch two characters who
have never experienced that are even to people who have never
experienced that try to navigate that whole thing like
that is it's very good to watch it's very.

That is something
that I had not considered and thank you for that come for me I haven't really
explored a lot of bisexuality in tabletop role-playing I mean maybe that's something
I'll try and future of it funny to ask to behold just had
this conversation games with being a is not a big
deal where I don't even have to be out because it is an assumed
that you would have sex cuz looks like the wilbury
vanilla sexual people actually have it upfront conversation
about washer relationship would consist of and so to me it's like when I think of media where
I feel like as an asexual person I could exist in that well it
doesn't even necessarily need to have a sexual practice it needs
to have a view on relationships which is quite ruler which
allows different types of people to exist and I say for example Legend of
Zelda which has no canonical Ace Wrap
as far as I know our link is my head kind of butt it does have
is a world in which platonic relationships are valued yes
this is sort of cute sexuality and brunettes in that weld but
it's not so that that's something everyone experiences
and it's sexual and romantic
relationships are the Pinnacle that we all need to be working
towards that's not the end goal of those games and to me when I
creation my own will to my games yes sometimes it's about putting
actual asexual characters in there and calling him a sexual
but a lot of the time it's just thinking about how those
relationships all right and how and what that will values so I
guess guess hope for sure whether things I'm exploring in
my world right now is that in sort of the creation myth are
the earliest races were the doors of the Dragonborn in the
Dragonborn where are very much along those
lines reproduction is just about reproduction and it is a
discussion it was a it was actually two male Dragonborn
swear I love you Adam and Steve of this of this world and it is
the who who wants to carry the X who wants to do this because yo
we don't know what Dragonborn are in these cases these sort of
primordial Dragonborn are very amorphous in there even the way
they thought they were dragons and they became Dragon board
because they wanted to have this sort of more humanoid form to be
able to interact with the doors and so then it was a who wants
to carry the X uo do we want to have kids do we not want to have
kids you know but their relationship was an even there not in any way based off of
either gender or based on yoga sexual reproduction so even
though they did reproduce of probably good idea I'll give
to maybe so I have a will but I've developed game time for cousin which
doesn't have marriage it's specifically says in the rules as an insult to Anna Wintour
husband married but marriage is some of these idea that there is
a relationship by Rocky which doesn't exist in this world and I am I made a visual novel
where you have the option where character wants to just give you
a hug and you have the option to say no to that everyone does so I think giving like parts of the fact that
relationships don't have to follow a particular passion to
be valid yeah because for me at least
it's only in the last year or so that I've really come to terms
with at least that that label of being Ace it's only in the last
year that I've been able to really start incorporating it
into characters it's I have been sort of experimenting with it
subconsciously I guess before that you know like you do but I for me at least I mean I'm
just going to say I'm freaking ship trash I love that stuff to you.

You know this misconceptions
about what being Ace means sort of made me question that because
I was like he and I loving trash you like Sam steak and stuff to
let me I'm not really a sexual I don't know now it's really nice to start to
get to explore that with my characters who also by The
Faults Are Always a sexual either a romance sick or
panromantic usually panromantic because that's what I am and I'm
still just sort of enjoying being able to explore that and
see whose identities for me it's the start of speaking leg
I'm also somebody who loves those awkward conversations
especially in like the context of role play like like I had a PC who is
right now pretty much for a playing with their first
romantic Crush like ever there is there very touch averse worse
and they just had to ask a party member for dating advice and it
did not it was so adorable a like like they also bad anxiety
and it was just a really good start because like
bad is that was not too much role-playing really necessary
for that like that everybody pretty much just got a shot of
likes and trying to navigate that very cathartic for me at least
brings up a good point especially when we talked about
this awkward discussions I mean many of us your role play is a
way for us to sort of Tryon on some of these things that we're
going to or have already experienced and real life and
either might have wished they'd gone differently or that you
that awkward conversation that you get to have in D&D yo can
help you a lot of us a way for you to try on that
conversation of a hey I am finding myself in a yo than just
friends relationship with this person but I also need to
understand who I am in the way then this
works with me in order to have that relationship grow or to
make sure that it's not yo that there aren't mistakes that
are made or feelings that are hurt later on down the road I think something that I've
never actually got to role-play as an experience but I think
would be interesting to explore as somebody who does like to
play kind of more emotionally heavy games that are less like
haha this is an awkward conversation and like this is an
awkward conversation that is hard and painful is the idea of unenthusiastic
enthusiastic consent and like Shameless self-promotion I
wrote I wrote up series of micro games for asexual sexual
characteristic of romantic you can get it on itch.

IO under
starving soubrette unplugged but one of these games
is about being in a relationship with a man out of sexual person
who wants to have sex and it's my personal belief that you
shouldn't be beholden to like one person's desire or one or
the other you know or or another person's lack of Desire because
that's going to make both people unhappy and so sometimes you just do it even though you don't want to you know you can kind of make
yourself get there butt in that's that's a very it
can be very trigger in for a lot of people it is something that
requires like the right table at the right set of safety tool when we talk about sex in in
role-playing games it's always like a hundred percent
enthusiastic consent and people talk a lot about like sex should
always be enthusiastic 100% all the time which is true in a lot
of cases but I think I think I can send his own part
of a lot of these people's experiences and I would love to
find a way where everybody could like kind of safely explore Harder harder time in a game because the stakes are
lower because it's not going to ruin your your relationship I get it I also just want to say
just because I know that there may be some people who watch
this instinct think negatively about an enthusiastic consent
that does not mean non-consensual know that that's what you mean
but I just want to point that out for people who are watching
this and they think unenthusiastic can sit means
that you don't want to but you're going to do anyway like
that's what it means but it's not that you're not being forced
to do it it's just it's a it's a it's a little
tricky who has been unemployed Susie
Astic sickly consensual in in some things during that
transitional period of my life it is absolutely not
non-consensual you you will fight you may find one so you
will you may find some enjoyment in it but it is not like all
parties are still can send it even though you may not be
entirely somebody really wants pizza and
you don't really want pizza but like it's super important to
them that they got pizza right now and you're like okay I will
eat the pizza and then you eat the pizza and it's not bad it
doesn't make you sick you don't feel like awful after you eat
the pizza you just would have rather had something else especially when you really
wanted a burger yet.

It's really complicated one
which sexual people cuz I feel a lot
of that conversation actually gets kind of dominated by know
what I sexual people so it is complicated is complicated well that's actually we were
going to talk about safety about safety systems in shipping so we
kind of we jumped right through that one but no I think that
life experience is how to get a lot of what's
missing and I think it's the nuance at Lauren was saying
earlier about even the safety tools yo there is the ok where do I put this behind a
veil in a lot of times you end up putting a lot of things adjacent
behind a veil as well sometimes to explore some of those uncomfortable spaces and it I
don't know how to and I'm actually really glad you since
you two have more in here I don't know the correct way to
say that you sometimes neuter your experience too far how to say this correctly so I
before I get myself into trouble every day and over the bike you needed line sorry about that Yeah I think think when you're
talking about safety and when you're talkin about experiences
people sometimes think safety tools are kind of like cushions
to protect you from all of the bad things in the world so you
only have a fun happy positive experience which they can be
used for that and they're great Wonder used for that but part of the reason People
started talking about safety tools in creating safety tools
was to navigate those kind of difficult experiences and there
are some games that we play to be uncomfortable on purpose
bluebeard's bride is one that I can think of off the top of my
head like that is a game that is meant to make you feel
uncomfortable it is in the principles of the game and so so I think it takes the
right table it takes the right set of tools because there are
lots of tools and some work better for some people than
others to figure out exactly how far
you can go into these difficult conversations and uncomfortable
moments knowing that you can always pull back later on yeah I
can actually speak on that I only just recently had one can't
just one just one character that ended up having a romantic
interest and it took 23 episodes about two to three hours each
for them to even barely eventually have like that kiss
moment and what what's really interesting is is something we
we discuss has a constant communication your lines your
veils can shift all the time be active in a chat with each other
be active as a group cuz you're at your tables involves a GM is
involved like is transparent as possible that allowed me to have that
safe feeling right to be comfortable exploring something
like that cuz it's something I've never done before in a t t
RPG game and then also it's a Sci-Fi game like when you play Fantasy when you
play Syfy like it's not just like humans right it's not just
that's the only thing that's their like loving somebody
doesn't have to be physical the situation may not call for it
the culture of whatever world you're in may not call for it
and that's okay and it's really fascinating an interesting to
explore and I'm I'm just really grateful to have had a table
that allowed me the space to explore that because they don't
have to be that love that that connection wasn't going to be any more
physical than just that because it didn't need to be that the
connection between characters were already there I think you're bring that back
to our panel and being are of an ace is the that communication
especially when you do have an arrow or a sword any player who just because they're to have
that space place safe place but also that to explore some of that doesn't
invalidate or identity and I know I certainly I've
experienced through the years I think I'm the oldest amongst us
by a lot but the yo there's always the well you did this
therefore you're obviously not face you're obviously not a
sexual because yo yo you shouldn't be even thinking about
sex you shouldn't even be your why would you you say you're
arrow but you say you want to hold someone's handy and that's
a romantic thing there's a seems like there's
always someone you owe the the yo one night with me and you'll
not you and I don't even know how to say asexual anymore
there's always those people out there who know I've had that
said actually more than once are there is I think there's a
it's a very frightening place I think for a lot of us because
we've had so many bad experiences with just opening
the door a crack and suddenly it becomes proof to invalidate your
identity and the new asexuals don't
really exist you know and so I think I said in another interview
earlier this year just you just you holding someone's hand can
be the sum of the one the most dangerous things for an asexual
because so many times before in our overly sex saturated culture
yo you look at someone's eyes too long you hold their head
well that urine attacks yo 2 hours till sex to the sex I got from like a masculine
perspective right yes that pressure to everything everything has to
be sexual something is very wrong with you
if you don't find that person hot or you you haven't done this
yet don't like for sure I mean yo it
was very low high school college I mean basically truly it was
easier for me to let people do asphalt think that I was
repressed homosexual then that I wasn't interested in having sex add this is the end of the night
again with being gay was still a big welt in the 80s you were
disease-ridden I mean it this was I was in high school at the
height of AIDS and so not only were you gay and you know I was
in south Georgia so gay going to hell and a Biohazard because even though I insisted I
never been with anybody of course I was lying because
everyone's had sex or want sex and the gays were they have sex
all the time because you know that's what they do like I said to college it was
sort of the same idea luckily there I was at an
engineering school where I can just be Iggy can be studying all
the time and yo a greasy hair and acne it so it was pretty
easy and then I'm going to take
probably my biggest challenges were when I did in my 30s Bo was
there by Thursday before I start getting in shape and doing
cosplay MN especially doing Fitness cosplay where I was
doing your mini costumes that showed off my physique and
showed off my body and the cosplay Community is very
promiscuous I mean there's a better
Community that's involved in that everything is just a lot of
sex going to bed at 10 because I've
been up all night and that I was doing been alone
or usually had a room alone just inconceivable and and especially
as man and that when I had women throwing themselves at me that I had nothing to do and then would
have been for themselves at me and went had nothing to do with
them them like I said it was from the masculine side it was I
mean I was very convinced for three decades I was just broken
by me I can tell you the number of times that I used to tell
people it's because I'm the psycho wedding in the
relationship I think I'm broken I'm I cannot I do I don't do
well in relationship I don't know how to Revelation because
I've never been in a relationship that wasn't
immediately sex-based so I think it's really harmful to people raised like feminine or
raised as girls as well because you know as a growing up as a
girl I was cold boys only want one thing like that's what they
you know that's what they hear and you know I can't imagine
what it's like to be a little boy growing up hearing that you
only want one thing and then not wanting that one thing that
sounds terrible but it also is part A and there's a lot of
intersections about toxic masculinity in here too but it's
like part of the reason why you're so you know as a as a fat
person like I'm so weary around masculine people because you get
this thing ingrained in your head that's like they only want
one thing they're only talking to you because they want to have
sex with you like and it's it's so bad it hurts everybody so late yeah and I went to a
Catholic girl school when I did it at their best to tell us that
everyone sexual the sex-ed where it's like you
cannot have sex until you're married and then it is in Paris we could go on and on and on and
on and on and on much and I'm hoping that we can
all get together again cuz believe it or not we are almost
out of time already I do when I have a quick chance to quickly
roll around everybody and just any final thoughts that folks
might have in our last about 3 minutes that we've got I just so
happy that we got to have this phone conversation and I really
do hope to that we can bring this with even work topics to
share with Folks at another either, neither virtually Our
Lives soon while we go down through through final final thoughts you're not
broken you're not you're not a robot I lived most of my life
feeling those things and it's not true it's just not sure if
you can still love and you could still be loved luciela lost thoughts will will want
orange lips are amazing Pretty much create a list of things you
want in a relationship things you will do in a relationship you can do that either for an
actual relationship or for a tabletop role-playing game I
think that's a really good way it actually setting boundaries
out front rate sent you can be a sand still enjoy
your trashy romance novels and dirty jokes you are still a
hundred and and 50% valid latia Sam Stoll what I was going
to say to have an opportunity to talk
to all of you Sam you and I need to talk cuz we got three
probably need to talk like trashy romance and shipping and
all of that needs everybody watching your
version of asexuality Aro sexuality demisexuality sexuality is valid you see here
there is absolutely no one way to be the way that you are and
you know if you're still finding your way you know you have there
so much like you don't have to be in that box that your you are
beautiful people all of you the office Cathy work I do I
think a lot of people aren't sure whether there is and I
always tell them if you think that your Ace you're probably
aced and if you think you're a sad
you call yourself a sin then you find out later that you're
something else that's okay but like you're allowed to call
yourself something and you're allowed to seek out other people
who have the same experiences you you experiences as you and I
recommend it I think my last words are just
too remember that there are three legs to the attraction
table sexual romantic and aesthetic and with that I think
we're going to say goodbye and thank you all for tuning in
theoretically we were in the chat so we been interacting with
you while you watch this and everyone be safe out there I
don't forget to love each other and we hope to see you at
another con sometime soon bye bye this is 20 racing series it's a
future physics racer I saw they can drive at 1,000 + kilometers
per hour track it's a new genre of real
time strategy racing where you can pay for sectors to get
resources they can spend on Boost you stop for a joke on me the
race car uses untrack abilities they can help us a man and be
your bonus it's a racing game with the outcome of a raise is
determined more by strategy and adaptation rather than just
muscle memory and repetition with folded behind on that one
doesn't mean to show a loss there's more than one way to
play in more than one way to win was taking it to game shows of
the Last 5 Years can you be back from the thousands of Blaze recaptcha to First Impressions
from pesos to give you an idea yeah I thought it would be a really
fun that circle of death in case
it's been in it since it's not really fun everything series.

Com check it outside I can get directly in the game
right now I propose using Hangouts. Com what we have some
special access packs online events running break win prize
money which led hey dr. Ken. And register here
from Excel lights on lights on in Brisbane Australia complex sign-in fun ways and at
this stage we really focusing on cancer education from Castle
themed Escape rooms to finish your reality to a are tripping
off calories in the project. that I'm talking about today is
latency VR VR cancer researcher of over ten
years I know firsthand talkin to the general community that does
a lot of misunderstanding and call fundamental knowledge gaps
what can say it is and this isn't surprising because cancer
is incredibly complex you communication strategy that
we can be using to engage in a broader audience to take some of
that cancer and more importantly that I'm thinking about cancer Johnson General LG hacker from the Queensland
University of Technology really wanted to explore with virtual
reality could be the answer games as a sorceress step to share
some of the challenges week Monday cancer treatment and how
all the time can they be successful often we decided we wanted to
talk about if we can't have therapies we began cycling at
the different kind of mechanics and this is where we came up
with the different treatment guns therapy therapy malignancy Beyond into expanded
way multi-level game and really doing this in conjunction with
members of the community so if it sounds of interest to you
head over to malignancy cvs.com and sign up to be in touch for
the more we want to take that game and then tested in
randomized clinical trial tour bus we assist if virtual reality
is an effective way to teach people about cancer and more
importantly can it get changed or influence people's behavior
and reduce the risk of cancer walk on you a Cooperative Frenzy Myspace
Spacetime fun-filled game by the name of out the First videos captured is a cat co-op games
for friends and family without the four players were together a campsite before night Falls as a campsite to complete
campsite and unlock for the areas in the game route me to mix some hazards
from natural environments such as know I'm not that is on its way Daily Bumps the rocks a fishing rod for fish is a race against the clock are
required to build tents constructed campfire cooking
enough food and get into bed before mustafa's resources Mall avoiding hazards navigating
the landscape efficiently and work cooperatively to complete
the objective as quickly as possible complete now Chainz complete we just finished one.

Is finished quick get to bed before iPhone enjoy this game play wish list now on Steam going to be racing series it's a
future physics right so they can drive at 1,000 + kilometers per
hour track it's a new genre of real
time strategy racing where you can paint the sectas to get
resources they cannot spend on Boost used upgrade your car car
meet the race for uses ontrac abilities that can help us a man
and be your opponents opponents it's a racing game with the
outcome of a raise is determined more by strategy and adaptation
rather than just muscle memory and repetition with falling
behind on that one doesn't mean to show a loss there's more than
one way to play in more than one way to win the game shows over the last 5
years any feedback from the thousands of glass recaptcha to First Impressions
from pesos to give you an idea what I thought it would be Are
you a really fun mom at 2 go around that Circle
of Death fun really quick spot price everything find out more Iver 22 racing
series.

Com check it outside I can get directly in the game
right now by refusing House. Com when we have some special access
packs online events running break win prize money Shoe Town hey dr. Ken. And register here
from Excel at salons in Brisbane Australia complex sign-in fun ways and at
this stage we really focusing on cancer education from Panther
themed Escape rooms to finish reality to a are tripping off
calories in the project that I'm talking about today is Legacy
Media Media set your favorite candy is I
know firsthand talkin to the general community that does a
lot of misunderstanding and call fundamental knowledge gaps what
cancer is because cancer is incredibly complex strategy that we can be using to
engage in a broader audience to take some of that cancer and
more importantly about cancer for I really think
I should so I can General the Queen the University of
Technology really wanted to explore with it reality could be
the answer serious games as a sorceress step to share
some of the challenges week Monday cancer treatment and how all the time can they be
successful I thought we decided we wanted
to talk a couple cans of therapies we began to him at the
different game mechanics and this is where we came up with
the different treatment guns because I'm on chemotherapy therapy for malignancy Beyond your to expand it into a
multi-level gang Andrea B doing this in conjunction with members
of the community what's up everyone and Welcome to our
packs panel here called fight for the future how d e f g c can
improve so I am your host David Gilson in here to moderator for this panel and
no I want to get to know have everyone needs to do some cells
here so I will start off with Alicia does Alicia ex life I'm 18 of
motor I am also a professional commentator and a content
creator consecrator that's all there is to me alright big cheese cheese hello
there my name is jakeem Big Cheese Johnson glad to be here
with everybody I am your Entertainer for the night whatever you want to call me my
life Your Entertainment I Catholic or hi my name is and I'm a
professional sports player for economics gaming I compete in
Tekken 7 and also a streamer and I also am now dating coach for
Excel Academy Season 2 James my name is James Chen on
one half of the ultra Den TV and I'm a commentator for fighting
games and I also consider myself a fighting game historian of
sorts of having blade fighting games for two decades now I kind
of sore if you will ya good and David hey my name is
David AKA Ultra David and actually I've been playing
fighting games for two decades and James been playing fighting
games for a decade longer than that I'm the other half of
ultrasounds TV and fighting games and also an
attorney who represents players and broadcasters and tournament
organizers and teens in the SEC another person be supported but
James on blast over here all right click menu pop up cuz I was
trying to secretly mute David Bailey Button II all right and I said before my
name is David Gilson and I am the host for for our cats which
is short for another retro-gaming podcast I've been
around for over four years now content creator at large if you
will be freelance writing and voice over as well and they do
like a number this actually the fourth year in a row now it
don't tax panels for so a little bit of a better and I guess
that's to sort of thing so let's jump right to itself soap base
of the FCC has had a rough year with a cancellation of events
most notably Evo and having his own me to moments with sexual
assault allegations within the Smash Brothers community and
even against one of the organizers of evocel the
question I wanted to start off here before all of you is was
2020 the year thing seemed to go wrong for the FCC or did it just
bubble to the surface and underlying problem that was
always there I think that it's always been a problem that's
always been there but I think there is always been this fear
that if people speak that don't get blacklisted or opportunities
will be taken away from them so and I think especially with perm
has been canceled they were kind of like all on this light beer
you like slow spot right now we're all come back home I think
it's all of reflecting I think there is people realizing
there's no change that needs to be had two people you know
they're banning together they're realizing their needs to be
things that need to be fixed so I think I like it was a bad
place to be needed to happen and I think 2020 though it's been
very chaotic it was necessary so that we can start reshaping how
the f g c should be I completely agree with cuddle I
think that instead of seeing it as sort of I think it's it's the
positive direction it's addressed we need to go and if
anything this is a good thing and when seeing it as the way it
is like what's covid-19 different story writer has an
unfortunate situation that's a very terrible things going on in
the world and Fort Armistead cancel for those reasons yeah
that's terrible but when talking in relation to the me-too
movement this is essential right unless it's taken seriously
things will not move forward right like I chose to back on,
Terry before you both canceled because I couldn't stand for it
like it was something that I truly wasn't aware of and my
ignorance bothered me because once I became educated but what
was going on around me like hey this is what's happening like
are you okay with that can you stand with that and can you work
in that environment in the answer is no I couldn't rights
of me and other commentators were just be pulled out
instantly players are pulling out teeth are falling out and it
wasn't just because oh it's a movement is cancel culture it's
more than that it's understanding your values of
your principles hold Merit do they actually mean something and
will you put that to the test or will you just say it for the
sake of saying it let it be a passing phase phase what one of the tricky
things about it is you know a lot of the people out there who
are against this kind of thing call it cancel culture etcetera
etcetera but you know I really don't like I guess that kind of
language cuz really when you talk about castles kind of
negative it's like oh you're trying to prevent things from
happening but what you're actually doing by improving the
situation by calling these situations out is there actually
an enabling people to go because the safer we make the
environment the more likely people will be able to go to
these events and have a good time and to actually have the
repercussions for people who do wrong things to do bad things
that makes people feel safer I always bring up combo breaker or
one of the biggest tournaments in the country as an example
Rick's Tire does a great job you know promoting welcoming in and
making sure to keep everybody safe there and when you're at
the event you can see it like in it probably has one of the
largest the female kind of like diversity ratio is like one of
the more equal ones out of all the fighting game events and I
don't think that's an accident yeah I think it's also something
I did gif her a good thought it would be a
lot though is it Saturday we can advocate for women of the
community is that people who tend to not be on the map feel
uncomfortable in events right and come over Breakers amazing
but Rick is an amazing person like aliens and CEOs amazing like there's a lot of people running
them but for people who don't have influenza to the scene they feel
helpless in a lot of these scenarios and then they have to
turn to people who they know have influenced to make a
difference and that is where a big disconnect happens and already talking to about
organized about this book creating safe spaces crating
boots or people can report not like not just injury booze but
with can create say spaces so they're dedicated his face is
whether people who are neutral outside of the sea like
counselors therapist or people who have during that's a trauma that
happened anything that makes people feel safe even if there's
somebody whose brand new.

The first word of it to someone
who's been a better in this entire time and that's something
I would really love to be in a sense of this is a time for to
finally be done just because of what's Happening Now as far as
the year goes I think that it's I just view it is very important
and I agree with people saying that this is kind of stuff that
has been there so they were some of the allegations go back 15 20
years so clearly it is a long term for a problem and it's it's very important right
is something that we need to go through and I also don't really
think that it's a coincidence that happens during Kobe X
because as as you know you've got you to
talk about us talking about this at events people feel the pressure to not talk
about this sort of stuff right but when were all at home
there's no possibility of going to any major events they're all
being canceled their being canceled for the foreseeable
future for the memo the sort of expected
consequences are going to be last because you're not you are
less commonly going to be in those physical situations where
you may feel unsafe where you may feel that these consequences
could be placed upon you so it's not it's not to say that there's
no consequences for the stuff online interactions that are
still quite negative but the us all sitting at home and thinking
about all the things that we've been through and not being able
to hang out with other people and not expecting the same for
the negative consequences I think it's part of why it all
weld up in around the same time.

Right not just for that you see
before game devs and four other Esports to like we're all sort
of in this this strange little mindset where we may be doing
things that maybe we wouldn't if we were traveling and seeing
each other and worried about the potential consequences of like a
normal year so I think that is super important and it's nothing's good about coronavirus
to be clear to actually come out with the
stuff that is stuff that they've been holding onto for a long
time for sure I mean where I come in a lot of like of
course we talked about backlashes James document why
were people tend to stay awake cancel culture doesn't negative
connotation with it and when thinking about all of that in
the case of Luvs come forward is there's also moments where we've
seen video evidence of this happening of people interacting
with virus and physically touching the Met events we were
not made aware of until now so it's like it goes from
allegations to being factual and at that point like what point do
people look like this is childish mentality oh
you're all just on the a bandwagon to Hayward out holding
people accountable stop like in also the difference between cacao and I said what's up
podcast and it's like tearing something down that's
not okay in the making sure we create an environment is
healthier versus putting somebody on a Podium right that's very close to home for me
because I actually had to distance myself I just I
completely cut out my former co-host for my podcast action
for very similar reasons actually at because of being
accused for sexual sexual assault stalking things like
that like during a during Pax Easter this year still all that
kind of went down and you know I had to just kind of like you
make a note that like you don't had this distance myself exactly
people understood as far as like you know his actions compared to
my actions in the way of a brand of the show and all that stuff
but it is why it is very important
those who cannot speak up on these things and as soon as
possible as well you know I'll talk to you like it's going to
be different for different people like depending on how
comfortable you are with coming out like a honey I'm like what I
did you know what it is to happen to you or what someone
they have done to you or whatever maybe but the sooner
the better really because then that you know that holds a
person accountable make more people aware as far as I what
kind of behavior to look out for from people like that she's out
of your ass and your take on this as well some your kind of
like more I guess I'd be Outsider looking in from the
exit now you know about the of the FCC, like how I am as well so I'm really thirsty on your
eye take are the FGCU believe that but how I how I look at
this I really feel like this was the year of a rude awakening
because people don't understand this has been going on for years
and people have decided to speak up about it not only because you
know what's going on with coded but they got fed up with the
fact that I'm tired of being quiet I'm I'm tired of not
speaking up I'm tired of not let people know exactly what's going
on so when these individuals decide to speak up about it it
was like okay now you want to talk about why you say anything
a couple years ago why do you say anything last year was like
because I can't really speak on things until I'm ready and
that's how it is sometimes but when it came to the point they
were ready to talk you can see why it wasn't like it wasn't
like how to say bioheat expose all over I knew what I knew it
know it was like this happen that person needs to be
responsible and I need to you know they that consideration of
what they've done apologized that person you know you can
move forward or you can resign whatever you want to do by the
end of the day you are held accountable for what you did or
what you've done and if you don't always have, before then
guess what that guilt rolls with you for the rest of your life
and it's all in your head Zombie a black cloud and the fact of
the matter is you have people that do tell all that he will
know what's going on and you have a whole Camp of course
you're not believing in them so they can see the person that is
telling the truth while they are you know and embracing the person that
telling a lie and that that's why I was like this is why I
can't say anything because this will happen to me but I'll be
doggone if you let a counterculture stop you
from telling the truth the truth needs to be told so tell it
don't don't worry about the consequences cuz I rather I
rather be camping telling people what happened to me then be no
for you know not something will happen to me that's that's a bad
thing because now you see a hold of yourself you know your heart is so much
of the truth that you know if you lie about it nobody's going
to believe you when the truth comes out reveal it let it out like I mean I think people
really justified in keeping that kind of information to
themselves given the type of history that talking about the
truth is kind of you know revealed the fact that when
people have discussed in the fact that when I cancel culture
in that group comes up like you know they're attacking the
victim there they're pretty much scared into not wanting to talk
so I think then when he's a happened is at the core
theocracy needs to be fine-tuning multiple way like
making it safer for people to touch the reason why is hostile when it comes to
people telling their troops and and that's what little we've
been happening is because nothing is because it's more
enabling then there is checking people in the end because it was
accountability what's happening is your people
are left say what they want their last attack victims
however they want there's no there's no sort of four door to
it there's no protection and especially like when Alicia was
saying in regards to if somebody's doesn't have the same
platform and their victim so what happens if it's even
scarier because they automatically think this person
has no sort of notoriety or anything no sort of History
notes believe in they'll call him know
by the call McLeod Shae so don't call him but there's someone
instead of it being just hate this person took advantage me
hey this person did this to me and this person has multiple
people that needs to stop liking you know as I can get to see being
hostile in situations like that just going to bring some with
the next the next question I want I want ask would you
consider the fgc to be inclusive and how could improve in this
regard regard okay oh ivie people of color and like LGBT
and it's like you know we can say it's inclusive but like are
we are we really being real about it nowhere I've given
reality inclusive inclusive right the most like
let's be real most men right I really couldn't care less about
like what gender is someone refers to me
as but in reality it's inclusive for people who
feel included write the amount of gatekeeping in this community
is disgusting about two people who use an especially people who
are in positions of power and influential who use that and go
hey I have literal Cloud Arbor I can say whatever I want I can be
derogatory towards women I can hate on black people I can do
whatever I want because what are they going to do to me right I'm
so they can talk 8 so what can I what can they do to me is that
still stands like it hasn't gone away and to pretend that like oh
we're so inclusive is such as such a lie it's such a liar
that's in the crazy part of that is that no matter how much we
try to be like oh we're more inclusive than likely cuz they
are really toxic or more exclusive than like OverWatch
cuz they're really toxic yeah do a ratio comparison ratio
comparison talk about how we have way less women in those
communities by ratio standards why do we have less women than
them there's a reason because we we aren't exclusive towards
women I went and what happened even today even today I was
playing rates right it was the first message I get when I be
somebody girl I want to eat your ass what the problem here this is take yourself out of the pan of course I laughed at the
cameras do we all had a good time right cuz it's whatever.
I'm not going to be like all up in my feelings about it because
to me it it's it's an average Tuesday you know it's an average
Monday but at the same time it's like
when it comes to actual events it becomes too even commentating
right be the first thing that happens is that you know people
don't care about your Merit even until the cuz I like that
happened to be a lot when I first start was that people
didn't take me seriously as soon as I walked out like the first
thing they would do is talk about my appearance it listen
I'm a chubby girl who like cool what I love to eat and I also
have to work out I do my thing right the first thing that
happens if I walk on stage is like bam instantly, comments
about how I look instantly about my appearance get called the
n-word and DMV every single time I come in without fail fail and
it's like all like all of this buildup on your right and it's
in other like in Glisan other commentators of other genders
other religions everything gets as well but when females get
targeted they don't even care about to call and of what I'm
saying until halfway through and it's like damn cuz I can say is
at least one else walks up to the mic Always bad cold the dog at right
but it's like they don't give it that beat and I'm lucky enough
in the caliber communities like going to go in the making
someone does that stuff to chat will like to gang up on
them respect on it have you showed up brakes but
still do that but the same time it's like whatever those people
who try out their first time write those women those people
of color anybody right we'll try that there.

Why are they so gay
cats when they're just trying to make it just fine. You know move
up what happens with cuddle walks on stage right how old was
the best players what is the best players in North America even gets dog what are you
kidding that's that's that's not inclusive that's not inclusive
and I know that this happened brother genders and that's
unfortunate I'm not saying that always just women needle screw
man I'm not trying to say that I'm trying to say that there is
a problem though that's my two cents teams I I talked about it a lot on
social media you know that women have a hard time getting
themselves into the community because they're targeted in they
have you know they're treated badly and I get people argue
with me all you know what we talked just as much Mac the guys
you know I'll talk smack you guys to it's the same and
everything and I said it's not the same because you'll see this
happen all the time when you know like let's say you're
playing at a casual station in a girl sits down next to you and
starts playing you'll pick your secondary character you'll try
to go easy on them in other words that you've already judged
them before they sat down where is if a guy sits next to you
you're going to be like shoot how good is he I don't like if
you've never seen this person before you like how good is he
I'm going to play my main character going to be all
serious about everything you know the girl is Judge the
instant she walks in the door and the guy you know is not and
so if the guy turns out to be bad then you saw talking smack
or whatever like that but you're doing it based off of what
you're finding out but with with women in a lot of times you just
you already have an opinion you already have a preconceived
notion if you don't know anything about him it's kind of
course sat next to you and I'm taking machine here like I
better go easy on her she's going to she's going to kick
your ass You know that's just one of
those things like you but your brain if you've never met her
before when she sits down you're going to be like old oh that's
cool a girl is playing and you know and that's the kind of
thing that we need to stop it is that prejudgment get rid of that preconceived
notion that you know if a girl sits next town to you since down
next to you to play a game you treat her just like everyone
else oh my God how good is she had better be serious about the
timer I mean like for me I mean I always kind of a call that the
ain't that cute mentality like a girl I try to come up as
like I'm playing video games oh that's cute do you know like see
what you got in at like when they actually have you no skill
like you're like the only actually surprised myself and I
faced those preconceived notions
anyway see it it I see it by absence so
I'm a straight white man and I am not I have never been
attacked on stream for being a guy and I've never been attacked
on stream for being white have never been attacked on stream
for being straight but I see my friends have to deal with that
stuff constantly winner commentating or when they're
playing that happens all the time so
that's a very obvious difference for me I noticed the difference
if I'm the one with somebody else who may be may look
different in whatever way but I see you
separately as well so those are some parts another part is that
I am a Jew and when people know that most people are not sure
it's about it but the only time that I get attacked is on that
point so I've never been on Twitter I've never been blown up
for being a guy or why it would have never happened me it
happens all the time that I get a tag for a being Jewish and
just got to put the lie to the idea that there's a inclusivity
right because I'm in ends in sort of maybe three-quarters of
my identity you might say I never been attacked the 1/4 gets
attacked and it's it's the same for people who are you not as a
sort of free from having to worry about the stuff as I am in
those otherwise ways that the history of it is that you know
when the arcade we we felt that we were being inclusive with
each other that was not right right it was not right but we
that's of are feeling I remember it but with that inclusivity was
boiled in exclusivity right that was an inherent part of it it
was the section ourselves off as here with what we defined as
inclusive not women right not gay people not trans people at
that time either that time either it was it was a very
delineator line and they were only a couple of exceptions in
all of North America are people who did fall into those other
categories who who were willing to put up with all the crap it
was it was not many people and so we've continued to sort of
tell this fable about how we are inclusive even though it was to
find negatively in the first place and that's now I think
made it so that some people kind of cleaned up this idea that is
inclusive in a way because it's not allowing them to see that in
fact there are these major ways that we're not inclusive in that
were in fact not of the great spot to be for many different
people but if they're blinded to that because they have the sort
of nethys we've made that that she sees inclusive sees
inclusive I'm not sure I know you're a very very competitive
guy yourself actually know and I know you love fighting games
also your experience I guess with
people within the f u c r lycos hardcore fighting game players
kneel like whether they were inclusive towards you or not
well fear what they don't understand the hatred they can't
conquer I always go by that quote because if you look at the
fgc g c male male so when you have a person of color a female
or gay individual that takes over something that is supposed
to be predominantly male it's a Fear Factor is like older taking
over what we going to do about this is her things that are a
better when it's like they're taking her jerbs yet shouldn't be like that because
everybody some people are better than you
some people have to accept that this person better than you you
down like she needs show you no mercy like this is not Mortal
Kombat you know but at the end of the day I see it
is not inclusive at all okay because everybody everybody has
a chance to do something within the FCC the only thing is people
fear the fact that everybody you know wanted to be male dominant
if any game that you play any game that you you you you see
for yourself is not male dominance women women can play
games than most men I seen it for myself I wouldn't do for
myself it's the acceptance of women play in better and can you
buy you something imagine what she's doing on here she belongs
in the kitchen or what was she doing that and beat you it is not like gaming is just
for you know a particular sex or particular
gender or particular race what not you know I like Sonic Fox I
watch him play I watch him as a person play I don't look at him
being gay I'll let him be any of that because I'm not judgemental person to be judgmental and I'll
tell you in a minute I dare you to play him in any
game fighting you know any game possible Street Fighter Skullgirls whatever it is he
will put you on the floor and leave you there until you get
rekt good game but but he's a good Sportsman as well she's is
he your cheese by then yeah by them them like they then I'm
sorry but it just be no lie anybody
can play the game and anybody can be anybody can be victorious
but it in a man's in a man's mind State they have to stop
having this this this and their mind that it's just
predominately male they have to stop doing that end with the
second that they said they start accepting whooping in gaming gay people in gaming trans
people in gaming what he started step in that it will be a better
place for the fgc fully agree with you cuz you
she's like respectively so though cuz I think that you had
the right until when it came to this part by just don't agree
with it would be the way in which women are seen as separate
when it comes to getting so for example are you talking about
like all I can OverWatch and stuff that when you know oh she
be like go do the dishes or whatever that's not that's not
something that's happening here that's not what's happening to
women right now is a stereotype of what happens to women coming to a place of hatred
right it's really discredit what you've done is done so you don't have the
ability to do it it's where you've done it and they're still
discrediting to the next degree cuddlecore winning a tournament
what's what do they do right it's not a real major that's the
first thing that some people would say to her why that's the
thing right is at its place of hatred that's so large that
people can't hold on to the value what they've done their trying to strip it away
from them and that's a massive degree of an issue right for
example it's like even where it's like where I get an
opportunity to commentate right original up until maybe a few
months ago I always felt like I felt super blessed to get it, it, I still do feel extremely
thankful but I earned it and that's something that I can
never could hold on my own because I was constantly being
fed into the scenario where I believe that I given this
opportunity know I heard it ironed it like any other person
would have learned it in the same position I called dad
taught me to email to Call of Duty World files at what point
do I not realize hey you might have just been the spot is it a
bean on constantly because she
realized that I was being fed into this mentality that was
like oh you if you're given something it's because you were
giving it.

Because you earned it and she's like no no no you put
in the work you've done this you made it here this is you write that kind of comes with
like a system at play in that case that no matter how much other
people even if they are technically the outliers that
discredit you is that you still hold that you still hold the
Merit of what you do but doesn't mean it doesn't get to the end
of the day because it feeds on this weird pack mentality that
does create an insecurity so it's like to say it's just like
always it's a it's a it's a towards you is more than that
it's something to build upon itself or they try to feed in
fake factual information it doesn't actually create a
placeholder for the trying to pull up to tistics but actually
don't would relate to the conversation just because it
justifies the means to their friends right and that's the
issue that we're facing here like they discredit lightsaber answers they are and what you
are are did they take all the credit for it but if you are and
it'll be light out of nothing you know and the end and that's
what happens and it sucks that they look at it that way because
you earned it by Eric likes it wasn't given to
you like I couldn't work I've I've eaten people in and
you know best out of three best out of 5 I learned this position ever you
can sit there and don't play that.

That's just blatantly
disrespectful you going to respect on my name and it's crazy that you have to
put in twice the word three times to work just to show that
and you shouldn't have to do that it's a knee-jerk reaction so
it's basically a how to switch that unconscious natality if you
will can I get people away from that mentality and I don't know if it's a
generational thing about it's the second one of those things,
takes time as like more Progressive viewpoints if you
will ever take that so so I just want to come over actually two
more about the online science things actually so they're
hardcore fans to call for all fighting games to adopt a
rollback netcode model to improve the online experience do
you agree with this and it what other ways do you think online
fighting games could be better I don't think anybody here is
going to argue against roll back in your head the are rollback make sure there is
no question experience better like Yaya
Kodak throwback being you know that on every every game having
a model for it would be great but not just that but more money
put into these tournaments as well because we still have this
problem where players aren't getting paid that much and now
that we don't have tournaments offline I think maybe a lot of a
lot of that money to me to be given to paying more of the like
the top eight by top 16 because you know the pros and the
players whatever or something in that work we're still but
showing up where like competing and I think now we need to start
focusing more on like paying them or for their time and bring
that entertainment as well because Amy didn't have to be
like in a physical seat repair to be entertainment by Duffy
think that's a really big problem still but it's changing
cuz there's a lot more money being presented for players to
earn online when you when you say it
like more money being put into at the all-night ornaments are
you saying like that money being put into improving like on
letting that code basically and Leonardo proven on my experience
I know I just mean like in online tournaments there should
definitely be like bigger prize pools in general like a lot of money yeah if you got like topic and
you're like 7 to get like a hundred bucks that is a shame
that should not be happening if there's a problem with the
commute I was saying like since we don't have how much room is
right now in the wild that money was probably going to like you
know venues in stuff like that maybe we can get some of that
two more of these all my tournaments are starting to pop
up more so that we can start you know getting people what they
deserve in that sense that's not a thing he's like part of that you think
too because of like fighting games being a guest like more
like a nice jaunt around so like there just isn't like enough of money but like enough like I
guess I interest would say like sponsors for example the kind of
pudding-like you know I guess I bigger prize pools for like 20
minutes I look at other games that have
like the tournaments and they have is Twitch Rivals and they
have everything here to even Fall Guy you know it's crazy how
light Games was so much history like Street Fighter light
technium like Mortal Kombat they don't have a bigger price for
what it comes to it like off light offline offline and online
and I've been in advance which right was the world like the
person come in 62 20th Place they get like two hundred bucks
and it's like how is it that these individuals that these
tournaments top 8 at least get $1,000 stop at least and they go
through plenty of people to reach top 8 is not like you want
to fight fight B-66 people here and that's that they go to a
hundred thousand bite all the people hit a bike who's going to
make top 8 and the top eight only gets $100 that's that's
that's not that's not even buy a quart of my plane ticket going
back to where I came from disrespectful so I truly believe
they deserve more than need to learn more and I feel like the
companies need to invest more in to these players as well so it's
not just responds to themselves is the companies that put out
these games and they make these individuals are making them a
lot more popular than what it should be Studios sale sort of as as the tournament
organizer or as the broadcaster you are bargaining for
sponsorships based on like 10 different games that people are
going to go check the washer so let's play so you have a lot
more people there who can give Eyes Forever your advertising
and that's like worth more money usually where I was online it's really
hard to do that you know your it's it's much more separated
you can just watch the Texans stream where you can just watch
the street fighters theme in there just like not related
really just very different but then additionally just like from
a legal perspective there's State and a province in Canada
and several countries that means that have laws so that you can't
pay in money into a prize pot that then you are also paid out
of and yet some jurisdictions consider that gambling so the
way that many tournaments has gotten around that is by not
taking in like not having an entry fee in the first place so
the prize pots are much smaller than it's just a bonus that's
given to the players at the end because you don't have that like
set of 4 use that goes into it in the first place so being
online sucks a lot of ways but like one of them is that player
prize pots are harder to be as large as you don't have this
like sort of Amalgamated advertising and you have legal
constraints on it as well sucks understandable to you know a little bit about
you know and putting the online play just for the FTC in general you know with outside of
rollback netcode you know what other things that I've been
talking about what I've been preaching a lot really is that I
I really honestly think that I'll playing fighting games
online is kind of a miserable experience cuz and the beat you or whatever
like that it's just I don't like it's a very lonely process and I
feel like I don't know the answer I've been racking my
brain for it for years on how to improve the online experience
but I definitely feel like you know just ranked going up the
ladder trying to get yourself stronger and everything there
needs to be more to it to kind of promote the community
environments to just give you more rewards cuz when you're
playing at all you're doing is seeing your rank go up and down
and it's discouraging and it's hard not think it's a lot of
work and like I said I don't know what
the answer is right now because if I did then I would probably
have told everybody to this leprechaun or something like a
second icode would be a huge boon for
online play Improvement but there's got to be more like
Guilty Gear strive the beta came out they have those crazy floors
with the rooms and you have the avatar my shopping and it was awful
they can prevent it is so badly but weirdly enough I I get what
the idea behind it is I like the idea I think the implementation
was awful but I think if they tweeted it they could do
something really cool with that but I would just like to see
more developers experiment in that way trying to make the
online experience more of a journey more like RPG instead of
you just sitting in menus watching numbers go up and down
you know I just feel like there's got to be more to it
that will attract more people to keep grinding in the rain too
because you know a lot of times you play ranked to lose 10
matches in a row and you're just like why am I doing this I mean Arc system works game
seems to compliment that I can allow their games anyway as far
as I can with locking of the lobbies be like you as an
avatar, I getting funding had so I got a little Avatar as
whatever so you're basically like advocating against like
that being the step in the right direction but he wants to go
further in this case it better for sure yeah yeah I also like
with like with a doll in mind is when one game that does it's
pretty well for like their own So far that I've had with it up bunch of friends we all do
who are in the interests so I think I finally decide to give
it a shot out of my 3D World switch off could refuse in a cup
of 3D games can I play my God really Italy they've just
leave planned out their game right you earn skins you earned
them and it's like right now in tag when the girl for even
anyting Fire 2 Tekken 7 when you wanted to make a creation or
make it make a character when you would actually have to like
dried-out treasure battles are online rank is nothing get money
to buy her numbers Mickey character right thing to
do where is that that's gone is dead right and that sucks
because half the fun of playing these games is like seeing
people's cool custom going into ghost battle running until I can
ease custom randomly for no reason like why are they taking away
all these attributes that aren't really it cost like effective to
them like a trip is it bad for every single game until now and
other daughter thing because I don't rest now
is implementing that which they didn't have it before right so
it's like rather like we're like for aggressing the more that
we're going forward because we're scared of overwhelming but
we currently have and then 4 games like a director's list
Warner Brothers money right but the same poverty here come on checking
with one of these be best selling games of the year you
can't be like sleeping on that factor either just because
they're writing like fact that checking his one of
the best fighting game selling fighting games and it doesn't
have any of that stuff is kind of the hard part right there cuz
how do you like this is one of the things that you know when
you work for a software company every time you're like let's put
in this cool feature that people will enjoy you know the question
was asked how much money will that make you know I always
liked NRS they're doing I mean they pulled out their neck cone
and replaced it with robot netcode on their own you know I
mean that was amazing but you know the funny thing is I always
tell ask people this question if Mortal Kombat 11 does not have
Frame data in the game how many less copies are they going to
sell probably like none Des availability this is crazy like with with second we didn't
have free Ice Cream Day.

For a very long time and we have to go
out Kirby Norway and like upstairs was right we were already friends on the
fly right but I happened was like they did and I did see a
lot more people playing the game because we information was
accessible them in real time they charged I think really worth stop people
from kind of what would stop people from
having access to type it in and that like casual way was the
fact that like that information wasn't available yeah I like
your 50 characters right plus and then all those moves all
those techniques and of the 3D fighting game and you have to
consider the poor guy in the background and stuffing and you
know but the moment that they added The Frame data make people feel less afraid I
think they were like okay yeah now we can get more into this
like this like it's not like me getting better as more tangible
now because I can we see the frames of everything so like I
definitely feel like your friend and maybe better customisation
blood moves cuz they're trying to add mousse you know what I
think you're thinking that that will help.

The online experience
protection but I don't think your music right now I don't I
don't think would I know I think they need
to talk about with some other Pro
players bought the territorial mode bump that cuz the one that
had a tad too was not it was not at all actually if you want people to take your
game seriously and still have fun and get in more of an
audience you really got to start considering what is making my
our game last accessible to people Nobody's been talked to
animations or staggers or things like that anything works like
any of the mechanics or anything up but let's take that a step
further let's let's Brooks if it's what they need to do to but
online is now people are at home and then we'll try to learn mode
give them it so that they can start talking like a really good
what's a juicy one and lamp tomorrow mode radio each mechanic like it's all about y'all but listen to be more easier to convince
your friends to buy the game if there's actually a it if they're
being overwhelmed and in the first hour of them getting their
ass beat by their friends and them refunding the game right
now the time right now you so that actually Segways into
until the next bus and I had actually in terms of how much is
the Improvement of the FCC on the game developers so what do
you think of things like how come the drum Studio Bandai
Namco and others could do to help improve like like a flight to find a
game experience what did that be offline or online like what like
like what's the honest I guess space Lyon like the I like you
game developers in cells yeah it has to be on the game developers
I mean we don't have the authority to do that kind of
stuff it be super great if we pissed but we don't have to hope that they will and
I mean there's there's an argument of voting with your
dollar but for many of us the games that we really enjoy are
not the games that have all the features that we want right like
you may be a huge Tekken Fannin realize like this is my favorite
game but it doesn't have a great tutorial it doesn't have it on
my place online play in I just don't care about it and I
totally get it for sure so boarding with your dollars not
as easy in those situations because you are in a sense kind
of like stuck already you're by the package in this case yet yeah yeah and you are many of us
are are sort of stuck in the game sort of sub-communities or
in the in the publishers it's what they want to do and
and we're going to probably play their games and that doesn't
give us a lot of Leverage argument to like use your
leverage right don't buy the next version of the game but
like are you not going to play Mortal Kombat 12 like if your
probably are there is a limited amount of
Leverage that we have and that means that it's on for many of us at least it's on
the developers do it now.

That our situations are things
that game developers could do that would make me a fighting
game fan who may not be I'm not a big deal to your head but
maybe I'll try out this next Guilty Gear if it's the game
that maybe he is more like the kind of thing that I'm looking
for so I'm already in the FCC but like yeah maybe I'd try this
game out if it has great online play it's going to have to go
back early so I'll give it another look it's not like I
hugely expanded Market right there's only so many people who
play fighting games but at least it is a bigger Market you know
so there is soap so me I was like not the major Guilty Gear
Head like maybe I can do it for the games that you
like pride and joy but the games that you really love your
probably stuck with so it is on the desk in that sense I did notice that Westlake Community trying to get
things kind of changed in regards to the development of
games like for example a second cuz a lot notice it when we when you cure
does it depend the game they aren't really messing well with
the normal mechanics of attacking and the traditional
wood traditional way that they come on a little too strong if
you're going to rain something that's been happening
is it supposed to be like in regards to Leroy community was
very vocal so you know know why couldn't you know this is not
work like he's not like he has certain frames and none of these
characters having like he always has turn like people literally
bands were showing videos of real time situations would they
were in games finally get to leave white players in the like
a yellow damco this is a problem like look at literally was going
after I hear that should not exist in your game and you know where there's some
weird one he hit by which singer with the character but that
exists and with ma Cam'ron same thing that that that if he's
walking forward Milo doesn't connect with his legs is that
neither the things that you know yeah we you know don't have tons
of Leverage but we do have video and we have Internet and we have
tweets we have to leave so you know I didn't work because I remember
in the Doterra that the testers like for Namco for second day person changed they had machine
was hell's we've tried both ways what is never existed you can
always like walking to the left and but but but one guy on the
team with the machine and he wanted to put it in there the
community because they said hey but she must have all these
other options that's why we side beside walking beside lap so we
can eat before the one that tells me this yeah they got that much changed they
got it changed changed they would have been with we can
use our voices did I really feel like it's worth Russell husband
Aamco proteins and development I don't mean to say that if
you're somebody who's like dedicated in one community that
you shouldn't be talking about it cuz we definitely all should
be and I know that I know that like everybody on this call has
been doing that for sure you should definitely
be doing that it's hard it's hard to have the financial leverage and
I think in our situations and those caissons but definitely
definitely be out there talking about it on the right path like there are
more games that are putting it all back that code for example
there are more companies that are at least talking about it
even if their response is look it's not practical for this game
but we're looking into it for the future future games like
there is at least a general trend that it seems like it's
sort of all of our efforts and annoyances against them are
actually paying off in some ways as we want to come play and I
mean yeah you remember I mean I remember growing up in the 90s
fighting games are not balance holidays are actually pretty
good so at least they're aware you know I'm telling yeah but I mean it's a tough one
because you know Years After I'm approved in the
stopwatch version of a bear I'm telling
you we're still got Broken Dreams by swear I mean of the worst examples of that in
in a while cuz Leroy's were released as well or dare you the community me though is just you know cuz
like you know we want to have our voices heard but you know I
also want to make sure the developers when they make a game
you know they concentrate on fun they concentrate on an idea of
vision because one of the things that scares me the most is
Street Fighter 5 season 1 because that game was like the
reaction to the complaints about Street Fighter 4 and I feel like
I kind of came out is a very weird game eventually it found
its footing in Street Fighter V it's taking a few years but is
in a really really good place right now but I don't know it's
like I want the developers to listen to everybody but then at
the same time they kind of have to be.

I don't know I like not
sure what the best way to do it is so we have about 5 minutes left
here so I just wanted to 2% of my final question which is just
kind of like yeah this is a very quick one for you all to answer
who are some Heroes within the fgc you'd like to highlight here I like the highlight cuddlecore of an absolute unit okay That's
it that's all there is in reality right it's like you have
somebody who is constantly putting in this tremendous
amount of effort and yeah I know somebody who is so willing to do whatever you
see to do whatever you see Bocas be putting in all this effort
not just not just speaking things into existence but
actually applying them right and that's what that's what life
takes offense that drive and even on her worst days around
the days where she might not feel like she's fully at that at
her top Peak Performance level be for anything right hurt her
low days or so a lot of people's best days but it comes to
executing things and that's incredible that bar that she has
is one of a kind of you can't talk if you don't call that
alleged I don't know what you call that like come on come on
give me Chicago I see some of you myself I would say Justin Wong not only has he been in the FCC
for years but I actually sat down with this guy I talked to
him was playing Street Fighter 5 beat the brakes off me but I got
a few rounds in butt you know overall I eat taught me by some
of the basics and some of the things that that you know as far
as like fighting fighting games and puppies footsies 50/50 we
we've fought a lot not just on Street Fighter by Killer
Instinct Marvel's Capcom 2 I want to know why even try to
fight this dude on there butt Man by teach me the good the bad
what to stay away from you know what the push for it with and you know that's the
way I will always look up so even though I wasn't him but did you view be amazed by
some of the people that's that's younger than you you will be
inspired by because they were brave enough to do something
that you were afraid to do so you know Justin Wohl I would
give you flowers to write all right so let's try to
make this about 30 seconds C Jackson cuz we are running about
on a time there so California California DC ism support Networks so I trading partner shadow my
my my manager Emily Ann Davis am Dave has been in my
corner of the whole time we uplift each each other and raw
trying to be the strongest versions of themselves and they
always bring out the Best in Me and they believe my strength and
they actually just need the courage to always do my best and
always know that I'm worth something worth something
awesome James for me I always have a course out of people that
I was considered Heroes I mean I won't go into details because I
know we're short and time but you you'll know Ricky Ortiz is
one of the biggest Heroes wear capes Michael Mendoza of course
and then tasty Steve like three of these are three of the most
inspirational people for me in the fighting game community are
Dave Philip part of why we're in sort
of the mess that we're in with lots of bad things have happened
and not having talked about it enough is that we have gyros in
there to see and we afford those people more control and freedom
from consequences I don't want that I don't care Legends I want people who are a
down to play games and talk about games and run tournaments
and I think we should all just be treating each other and doing
each of us are some sort of as people who should be we should
be looking up to an end doing better and very inspirational
for sure HyVee one is a lien sale from
Kai's End Game lyrics world secret society of death love dies in Excel to solve the
murder of the ruling Council Batman outside of a walkthrough
from C e fishing story correct who do
you suspect a conspiracy centuries in the play known hour to test the past you
simply investigate the crime in any order you want to come to
your own conclusions so long as you put me up a list
of fact it up with very excited to be taught some hacks we've
been too shy before I had a wonderful time we had that one
day in the future we can do it again in person Now PC and switch with special
20% discount we hope you're ready to breathe life back into
Paradise into Paradise Pax online I will shake with
atomic mass teams and their I'm here to show you how to get your
Miniatures assembled so let's Dive Right In and take a look
you'll notice that are Miniatures don't come fully
assembled so when you get in a Marvel chrises protocol
Miniatures product or any hobby Miniatures game you're going to
see them come on a frame or come in pieces like this here this is
our Thanos from Marvel crisis protocol game now the core tools
that you will need in order to assemble your Miniatures are
very simply a pair of Clippers and a hobby knife you can find
either of these things that any hobby store or local game store
at care products the last thing you're going to need it is
you're going to need some kind of adhesive glue there two
different options there is plastic Miniatures glue what you
can find a hobby stores and works great on hobby products
like more of a crisis protocol there's also classic super glue
super glue will also work just as well each has their own
strengths and weaknesses Pollies have both on hand in order to
start with this assembly system we need need clippy parts off
the frame not every minute risk it typically comes with
instructions that shows you how to do the bill you'll notice
that each part is number and that helps you identify which
part you need to stick to which part the first thing to note is
that you need to separate each part from the frame in order to
do that you're going to take your haughty Clippers going to
hold them in your dominant hand your to find where the injection
ports are for the pieces so you see you like the injection ports
are here on the bottom of the feet or here on the back of the
shoulder pad the best approach when clicking he's off in order
to minimize any damage the peace or any excess material coming
off when you click to make sure that the flat of the Clippers
you'll notice how their dividend so they come down at an angle
you want to have the flat of the Clippers press up as close as
possible against the peace that you're about to clip so you just
going to come in here you going to clip and you're going to let
it go my Santa's boots I need to
assemble them the first thing I'm going to do is I'm going to
take my hobby blade and I'm simply going to look for any
excess material that's left over from clipping the part of the
frame and I just simply want to clean this off in order to put
my thumb against the flat of the blade like this next time we can
I use a slight scrapie motion as a push against material the best
practice when assembling the two parts of before you put glue on
them always dry fit so fit it twice before finishing it off
the next step is to run the glue across the edge
of the part number to take the other half using the dry setting
that I just did I know how to get it up I'm going to put the
Pro Parts together I'm going to press firmly for about 10
seconds go to the next one or something to clean Rent-A-Car glue when I run around the edge we're
going to continue to each different part until we wind up
with a fully assembled Santos As you move through the different
parts of the miniature you'll start to see the character come
together in fantastic fashion all of it is the joy of the
Miniatures hobby itself once your characters assembled the
last step is to attach them to their base so they are ready for
the painting table there you go guys a completed Thanos the Mad Titan
miniature all put together a line people is a quick
tutorial on how to assemble your own hobby manager's starting
with our mad Titan Thanos I hope you all have a wonderful weekend
be sure to check out more content coming your way during
Pax online and we will see you on the next one next one that's all you got is this all you fat you for coming to this wonderful
panel are X Games as social healing I am your moderator
Rafael Pokemon so better known as dr.

Be The Clinical Director
of take this the first mental health non-profit to serve the
game Community take this because it's dangerous to go alone our
whole mission is to educate people on Mental Health matters
in DC dickmatized Mental Health issues to make it just a thing
people that mean I'm a close the door so it I look like I'm a
professional here in but yeah let's take this has
been doing what we do since 2012 and one of the ways we educate
folks is through panels like this and let's meet our
absolutely fantabulous set of panelist and if y'all will just
take a moment and introduce yourselves let's go clockwise
starting with dr.

J j hello and thank you all for having me on
the show I'm dr. J I made comic book Enthusiast I am a forensic
cycle therapist I'm active duty with United States Public Health
Service clinical professor and just really glad to be here I
have crossed over into the world of gaming and just getting my
feet wet so I am not a pro by any shape form or fashion but
I'm excited about getting a couple podcast started that will
focus on gaming and mental health and so I'm glad you have
a boy here and be here today and coming from more from the
mental health professional side Adam Davis you want to introduce
yourself thank you my name is Adam Davis I'm one of the
Founders Inn executive directors of game to grow I wear a 501 c 3
nonprofit organization that uses a games of all kinds but most
especially Dungeons & Dragons another role playing games in
therapeutic groups we have over we will break a hundred clients
a week this coming quarter of we serve internationally helping
people become more confident creative and socially capable of
playing role playing games and I've been doing it for now about
10 years old be talking about that on this panel that's
awesome that is absolutely spectacular going continue in
the clockwise fashion Raffi everyone so my name is Rocky I'm
president of NYC gamers our mission is to uplift an artisan
experiences of lgbtqia plus Gamers and folks about the
gaming community and some ways that we do that is by hosting
local events partnering with sibling organizations throughout
the United States and Beyond at attending several organ conventions and events
will we can do further Outreach and increased visibility FR
communities yay and y'all y'all do some great
work in the diversity Lounge at the facts events with like we're
having here yeah definitely I mean if it
wasn't for the diversity wild I probably wouldn't even be at the
platform that I'm at now shout out to Kyle Steven Porter
organizer the first day of Lent and finally last but not least
Genesee hey I'm just a great mini
quiches manager at game publisher Good Shepherd
entertainment and hosts of The Great area podcast I talk to
developers about their inspiration and mental health in
the gaming industry and run broccoli doesn't communities are
so this is Mike at Freddy who decides to join us to keep my
mental health is good State during during oh we love furry
friends.

You know I hear that the internet hates cats and dogs
and all sorts of things like that it never goes over well I'm sure we're going to see a
lot of comments about and again I'm dr. be a doctor of
clinical Psychology and the the in the Clinical Director of take
this for nearly five years and on top of that I also teach
clinicians and teachers how to use things like Dungeons &
Dragons therapeutically and I play with Adam Davis on a
stream. RPG game called clinical roll with all of mental health
types and we just have to sort all sorts of fun what's what's
thyroid into this game this panel is all about breaking the stereotypes of
gamers as anti-social shut in know living in the basement in
perpetuity that we hate that stereotype but
I'm curious what are all of your favorite bad stereotypes of
Gamers as socially inept anybody anybody can jump on in
with this one I love that starts with the word let's talk about how we're all
actually very social would like an answer how far ahead and start so when I think of like a bad
stereotype that amuses me I think a lot about how the social
norms around gaming and Gamers is heavily gender right there's this in
compensation like on stereotype of it being like sis white men maybe not the most hygienic
maybe not the most absolutely fantabulous set of
panelist and if y'all would just take a moment and introduce
yourselves let's go clockwise starting with dr.

J j hello and
thank you all for having me on the show I'm dr. J I made comic book Enthusiast I
am a forensic cycle therapist I'm active duty with United
States Public Health Service clinical professor and just
really glad to be here I have crossed over into the world of
Gaming and just getting my feet wet so I am not a pro by any
shape form or fashion but I'm excited about getting a couple
podcast started that will focus on gaming and pencil help and so
I'm glad you are have a boy here and be here today but we're glad
to have you here and coming from more from the mental health
professional side Adam Davis you want to introduce yourself give
my name is Adam Davis I'm one of the Founders Inn executive
directors of game to grow and we're at 501 c 3 nonprofit
organization that uses a games of all kinds but most especially
Dungeons & Dragons another role playing games in therapeutic
groups we have over we will break a hundred clients a week
this coming quarter we serve internationally helping people
become more confident creative and socially capable of playing
role playing games I'm and I've been doing it for now about 10
years so we talk about that on this panel that's awesome that
is absolutely spectacular going clockwise fashion so my name is Rocky I'm
president of NYC gamers our mission is to uplift an artisan
experiences of lgbtqia plus Gamers and folks about the
gaming community activities that we do that is by hosting local
events partnering with sibling organizations throughout the
United States and Beyond at attending several or conventions
and events will we can do further Outreach and increased
visibility FR communities yay and y'all y'all do some great
work in the diversity Lounge at the Pax events like we're having
here here yeah definitely I mean if it wasn't for the diversity
wild I probably wouldn't even be at the platform that I'm at now shout out to Kyle Steven Porter
organizer the verse England and finally last but not least
Genesee hey I'm just a great mini
quiches manager at game publisher Good Shepherd
entertainment and hopes of the great area podcast I talk to
developers about their inspirations and mental health
in the gaming industry and run broccoli doesn't communities are
so this is Mike at Freddy who decides to join us to get my
mental health oh we love Furry Friends the you
know I hear that the internet hates cats and dogs and all
sorts of things like that it never goes over well I'm sure we're going to see a
lot of comments about and again I'm dr.

Be a doctor of
Clinical Psychology and in the in the Clinical Director of take
this for nearly five years and on top of that I also teach
clinicians and teachers how to use things like Dungeons &
Dragons therapeutically and I play with Adam Davis on a
stream. RPG game called clinical roll with all of mental health
types and we just have to sort all sorts of fun but what's
what's thyroid into this game This panel is all about breaking the stereotypes of
gamers as anti-social shut in know living in the basement in
perpetuity that we hate that stereotype but
I'm curious what are all of your favorite bad stereotypes of
Gamers as socially inept anybody anybody can jump on in
with this one talk about how we're all
actually very social we would like an answer just want to go
to go first stop when I think of like a bad
stereotype that amuses me I think a lot about how the social
norms around gaming and Gamers is heavily gender their prey
this Thursday in compensation like on stereotype of it being
like sis white men maybe not the most hygienic
maybe not the most conversations that are not
around that it amuses me because I I go to all these gaming
events and there's very limited people that actually look like
that and I think it's ridiculous.

We're in the year
that we are now and still whenever I try to look for that
you don't visibility in inclusion on a lot of mainstream
media platforms I often don't see myself reflected in the
media and in the platforms that are provided write so I think
that it's interesting how this stereotype has been around for
so long I'm even going back to like old school D&D stereotypes
we're talking about like the guy in the basement right the
reclusive X-ray and yet everything that's gaming in my
life has been so extroverted and it's been centered around folks
who are your black Trans women who are disabled folks
throughout my life being lgbtqia plus right I wouldn't be the
game where I am today or not for my communities of lifting absolutely I got to see man I am
so tired of being asked to heal every single time I join a game
just because like I'm female I really I am much better the tank
I am much better at the DPS you don't want me to heal you really
don't what building am I traveling to
sing around the anti-social game room all the games that that I
play both professionally and personally are interpersonal
like you have to be social to play a lot of the games that are
now the games that we play like you can't literally cannot play
Dungeons & Dragons by yourself you could read the books I
memorize the rules maybe learn about the lawyer but in order to
play you have to be with other people and one of the things
that's great about games like Dungeons & Dragons or whatever
kind of RPG you my leg is that they they reinforce positive and
prosocial behavior is in a way that it's hard to actually be
someone who gets invited the games if you're not social you
know like that's one of the things that is true and Rafael
you know this as the way that we use Dungeons & Dragons are those
games in a social life helpful contact is because they are
pro-social environment it is exactly opposite of being an
isolating or you know antisocial activity yeah I will Echo that aspect
especially now in 2020 you know back in the 80s I'm dating
myself but back in the 80s the idea it was you know you were in
your basement it was a scrawny guy who you know was probably
chalk White when it came outside or like you never got some we
didn't know who he was who's that kid down the street kind of
thing but that is so long ago that is not what they mean is
today that is not what it probably wouldn't but it was
back then either but that was the negative stereotype that we
had in so I'm so glad that we have these outlets now and again
remembering the idea I can remember parents saying you
don't get off the video games you're never going to make money
doing that right how many folks are out
there making money on video games or something along the
lines with Jamie and the gaming industry how large is Cher that
it's out there now so you know I look at those stereotypes in my
cringe when I think about it and Genesee you mention the idea of
females peeing stereotype that girls don't
game.

Know or if you were a girl that game you were certain kind
of girl you know and so I think a lot of that is blown out of
the water now or at least I hope it is well in it up please the average age of a gamer it's
32 now but people still seem to assume that if you're a person
who plays games that you should be you know it below 22 or
something like that and if you're playing Beyond. Then
there's something wrong with you and use them have an issue
interacting with society and that you should grow up and
you'll find something real to do with your time as though it was
not look at the gym in a way of you know interact with people or
other legitimate happy to have I think that's pretty prevalent and I'll just even kind of beat
that up a little bit you know I'm a guy and I'm literally you
know I'm a guy who rides motorcycles who is out there
doing a lot of prosocial in your of things I'm active duty you
know I play sports things like that and I read comic books and
one of my highlights right now is I'm building a new computer
system to gain and to do something and gaming and it's a
poppy and no one would ever come up to me and say what what's
wrong with you all right why are you doing that right now and I'm
so glad that that's a different perspective today and that
that's something that's a thing it's a real thing I wonder if we can even breaking
this away from just the strictly game stereotypes we can even
break this to weekend expand this outward to fandoms as a
whole whole I mean when we think about it conventions began as a
way for people with at the time and Niche Hobbies to find each
other to connect over this really in detail in
his exhaustive book about the history of tabletop RPGs playing
at the world that the first Gen Con was a way of people who
largely communicated VIA mail to meet up together together so it
mean this is comic books this is Star Trek this is tabletop RPGs
this is all sorts of things for people to meet and explore Muse
Mutual interests so I Within within that we all work with the
public in various ways we all encounter public perception of
games Gamers Geeks fandoms what are the concerns about all
of these things as anti-social activity used most frequently
encounter it's anti-social you are you are
spending too much time with yourself and you're alone with
you being alone you're not going to feel the skills that you need
to tether transferable to a job or
Society those are the biggest things I heard again with
parents saying why are you playing those games if it's not
going to amount to anything you're killing your brain cells
that was I was actually said multiple times to kill your
brain cells but you know that that just that
key word of antisocial and that's not going to transfer
what you're doing is not transferable to society and
helping you become something of importance are contributing to
society show me news to all of us that
games can't be a career and can't contribute frying fully to
society in some way but so what concerns that you here in your
interactions with the public so in the work that I do my
interaction with the public attend to be limited because
people reach out to me so I don't do a lot of like cold
calling or anything like that and trying to get my pitch most
of the time when people want to learn more about the
organization of the work that we do they reach out to us as a
sort of a selection bias there but there is still Sometimes
some degree of a hesitancy from parents around some of it so for
example a movie I talked about Dungeons & Dragons also runs Minecraft based groups
and sometimes parents are still kind of a little bit curious
about how Minecraft or other kinds of video games can support
social interactions and so I do sometimes have to start a
puncture the concern around the and when I have someone coming
to one of my groups who is a just really exist eggs
exhaustively excited about Minecraft I can put those those
participants together and kind of you know seed conversation
between the two of them by like you're doing a little bit like
wingman in around dropping some hints about Minecraft and then
watch them cross pollinate and their relationships are formed
so even if you are playing this game by yourself when you can
then use that shared excitement and shared language then you can
build community about the things that are exciting and it is
that's how we form friendships is through connecting over
mutually interesting and usually exciting a phenomenon so even if
one is playing the game by oneself you're really building a
language you can then use to build a community with and one of the things I've heard
you say on panels in the past is that one of your measures of
success in the groups that you run in the games that you run is
if people are in fact connect outside of the groups and it did happens and it did
definitely does we got a lot of the participants in our groups
are sometimes come to us have never had never and never having
had a friend before never had any been invited to a party or
had any sort of meaningful social connection so then over
time they will have a birthday party and invite their
adventuring team You know to come over to their house for it
for a birthday party or we have a Discord server that are
participants can use them again and we've monitor at that we can
watch them talking about did you see that new Marvel movie that
came out or whatever it is and just slowly building the
capacity to then be more social to have the the reinforcements
from those relationships that remind us why other people
matter to us because I know that's a lot of the of the case
with a lot of people who are socially isolated as they've
lost the sword of connective tissue that reminds that's why
other people are enriching to our lives so then having a
shared language of a shared interest around gaming you can
watch it then they're people who are in the chat right now or
here because of a shared interest the people who are the back mean on the pre covid
times would go travel to a Pax 2 set the stand next to somebody
in line at waiting for a panel waiting for a game doubt it or
whatever and to stay at the school teacher you have I like
that game 2 that's just that this how we build community
around things we might do so though I love It clean of the
max Effect series of the Dragon Age series retractable talked
about it before we started recording like those games are
meaningful even though I played other than the third Mass Effect
like all by myself when I can still connect with someone in
like have a really meaningful connection around to that
experience we got through playing Dark Souls or any of
those like intensely solo experiences we get like really
have meaningful conversations around the personal experience
that it was playing those games I really appreciate you bringing
up coded cuz I feel like so aside from the work I do with
and gamers I also work with the New York City NC violence
project as an advocate for lgbtq survivors of eyelid so I
moderate a youth group every Monday for lgbtq youth of today
24 something that comes up often is having conversations with
parents Guardians the nook one around limiting time around
meaning of Gaming and my favorite question that comes up
if I call why is it that they spend more time watching other
people play games and playing themselves to fight fight and if
I were you just ask me why I would like for my advice around
limiting the time that they're playing video games right and a
lot of the conversations that we would have leading up to you
know we were prepared for the quarantine and everything if I
well now your kids are prepared for the poor and Seed because
the government is encouraging people to stay at home and
social beings.

That you were worried we're going to cause
harm to you know the Next Generation now these are the
tools that are promoting resilience and really connect
keyboard ways. We be born and raised in the Bronx
and seeing Alexandria ocasio-cortez playing know a lot of the concern around
gaming be like an antisocial activity you know look at how
the world's lift on itself and made those stereotypes become
the solution and wave that we're reducing arm on on the topic of
AFC did you see she just tweeted out she made silver to in League
of Legends Shabbat you know Tennessee I didn't
realize I didn't like was about to move on to my next question
but I didn't let you answer this question that was rude of me me
hey I mean Gemini.

I think comes out of gaming right it's a
shared group think about something you're passionate
about where they looking for answers on how to be better at
your game with you just want to connect to somebody that likes
what you like doesn't matter what age you are there any of
those things it's just a thing that you can talk about that
shared one of the as you said stereotypes are things that
people say they have concerns about when it comes to gaming me
that I hear most often is like you can sit here and be your
playing this game all the time while they're sitting there like
on Candy Crush all day long or sitting there on MyFitnessPal
you know at least of gaming like there is a follow-up what are
the game inherently has multiplayer built into it or
that there are tries to take you to a place where you could talk
about that game communities are kind of built-in into gaming in
a way that they're not necessarily in the game of
vacation of things like you know my fitness pal or Candy Crush
and I think people that had this idea that somehow Gamers of
estranged strange this strange or is that they can't understand
if they don't you know aren't really hardcore into hardcore
into nsps or something but there's a lot of commonality
that we have across all of these types of games that I think you
can understand if they have a chance to really break it down
and talk to people people so I mean building on that a little
bit more since all of us work with with the public in
different capacities you know Rafi you you do some wonderful
organization work bringing people together and I'm in a
community setting with you know like experience individuals dr.
Jay and Adam you both do mental health work can Jenna see you
managed 1/4 4th which is a 14 communities account but at least seven jumping off the the the previous
question what are the ways that you see
that people are surprised to find out games and gaming and
fandoms even are more social than they realize idea coded so right now we're
really starting to see a lot of folks are surprised at how adept
people are at navigating this social Distortion environment where we
are literally not being not allowed to be social right now
are encouraged not to be social but how easily folks transition
and young people transitioned to being social because it's what
they do I use the example of my daughters and my son all the
time I have one son is in college and I have two teenage
daughters and our house is like holding up her hit besides the
fact that we were mad when we go where we go my kids are so used
to being digitally connected with their social life there
doing fine you know and it's it's the resiliency is was
surprised it's a lot of people right now and it's just amazing
to watch it and see it now I'll be honest with you we've had
parameters on are there digital world just because I think
that's possible parents we should do that however within
all of the managing that we've done our girls are flourishing I
would be saying my girls cuz my son is out of the house doing
its own thing now but my girls are flourishing and it's due to
the fact that is social world that we live in the gaming or you're looking at some kind of
fandom it's transferable to real life management skills and I
think that's what has been surprising people that this is
truly something that has some gravitas to it and actually has
has some make a mark on our side appositive mark it just a bill on that candy
girl groups are in person up intellicode it hit and we
transition am online just like every school transition you know
every in person thing online and I was concerned about the how
everybody would do transitioning into online groups from in
person I'm trained as a drama therapist so I'm of course like
really used to like getting up from the table and doing
everything that I do is a game master and the kids adopted and
they flourished like like it was not a big deal they're all sort
of you no internet needed so just to build on what dr.

J was
saying like the kids all get it they understand how to look at a
face on it screen and talk to it in a way that it took me a
little while to get accustomed to it and they have their used
to having the chat that we're having here and also the chat
that is happening in the text boxes and doing those things
simultaneously having three chats with different people
while you're talking to other people here and and it is with
it's amazing to see just how easily they adapted to this face
because they've been building this these these skills that's
what's going to be essential forward from the get-go so it's
been it's been really fantastic and then moving online allowed
us to table dancing were talking about
earlier is now we can play with people who are not in the same
room with us we should just extending and building that
Community even farther I ran a group this week where I had
someone in Utah someone in California is someone in Oregon
and someone in Seattle and those are all young people who are
it's like better than a penpal until you can actually play with
people in other places around the country and around the world
and that's that's something that is really great to see that the
young people especially having access to through the through
there you know digital-native experience know digital-native
experience Genesee what do y'all think so what you're saying about how
this seems like it's something that people that are already
gamers are equipped to deal with in a way that others might not
be imagination is a huge Factor when it comes to gaming and
meanwhile you can see sometimes little things on the screen a
lot of X Games involve you you're projecting your idea of
what something is like and as an Avid Reader and somebody that
can download a price for every time I look at my charts during
the week for reading I think it's a great way for you to be
able to you know utilize that skill that you might not at in
real life you know if you're having a bad day or if you're in
a place that maybe you don't want to be right now you can put
yourself somewhere else you can have an experience you can't
have during covid-19 each other time in your life that's
different than where you are bound by location it's really
only limited by where you might want to take your imagination
and what kind of vehicle you can use to get yourself there so I
think you know as everyone else is kind of saying that really quickly to something
they've already been doing but just in a different way rap surprising is like how how how do I wear this what
I think of when I think of gaming and scary and like the
stereotypes that a fence around it and I think I talked about
this a little bit earlier I think about Ray and lived
experiences and I think that posed to be surprised by how
often there's this intersection between exploring of gender and
racial equity and identity disability and Jaden and like me
for example I grew up playing Legend of Zelda my favorite game
of all time Ocarina of Time as a like what 7/8 year old playing
that game the protagonist is linked but I never saw a link of
a video game character that had a gender role it always on
Bailey came off as androgynous to me or gender-neutral some way
shape or form it wasn't until I was older and I thought you were
meeting into the lure that I started noticing that you were
using him pronouns and I was like like whatever right it
probably other games like Pokemon where they start you
right off the bat like are you a boy or a girl or a guy love
those games where you can jump right into being they don't even
care about and then you have like my youth group right one of
my favorite conversations to have with them is like how do
you navigate your own gender journey of the video gaming and
they talk about games like Minecraft and Animal Crossing
Dragon Age The Sims my favorite one was a fifteen-year-old girl
from the Bronx who told me that her first idea or concept of being Trans
in gaming with Miss Pac-Man because she didn't know that the
history behind this sad man was that it was originally Pac-Man
right and then it was like Miss Pac-Man is this modded version
that became the most popular X she would go on and on and State
Pac Med Estrella that's that shitt.

Write and I think that
it's amazing how many opportunity are to be able to
use gaming as a platform to be able to have healthier
conversations around gender and and to be able to make it accessible not only to
our you spell also to intergenerational community MBA degree of thought in terms
of like women as well for me I gave me as a safe space where
you have at the consequence for a because the communal beliefs
you my behavior certain types of behavior except acceptable in
certain areas but it's a way to try out different aspects of
your personality that you might not be comfortable with when the
consequences are high right like in real life so if you're
sitting there in a game and you want to be a more aggressive
person or you need a minute to think about exactly how you want
to articulate something and you have that second for text to sit
there and write it down you don't have to just instantly
answer something and you can be a stronger person or you know me
you can be like a more aggressive person or you can be
like that you know a very kind and sweet person if that's
something that you know you're not normally allowed to do in
life it's a way for you to try on different aspects of who you
want to be in a safe way that enables you dare kind of
experience that and the feedback there of of whatever you're
trying and and kind of decide who you are and in a way that's
a little low consequence happy that it might be in real life so all is the numerous people
here have already talked about the either people perceiving
gaming as lacking real real skills skills what are y'all to say to that
because you know here I am thinking about a D&D meme of how
to put Dungeons & Dragons on your resume that you know I
organize I organized group activities with some regularity
as well as narrative writing and design as well as ruler tration
within the policies of a group setting and took like the idea that develop no
transferable skills skills so I'm going to I'm going to jump
on that from the perspective of you know I have patients that I
work with regular League I try to utilize whatever I have are
whatever they have they have connected to to help them build
maybe self-esteem or maybe a transition something else
helping them realize where their skill-set why and gaming oh my
God just did the strategy that it takes to play these games you
know I I can pick up a patient right now who's the older
gentleman and he was sidelined as a pilot but he's also a is it a DM game master a game
master and he transition from being a pilot to going to the
strategy room he's active duty going to the strategy room and
developing different kinds of strategies to help pilot who are
out in the field do you think that maybe some of that strategy
is coming from his his thought processes of being a game master
would definitely say so you know I I see young kids maybe 15 16
year olds who are trying to figure it out themselves about I
come to grips with where where where they want to be on wet
they're not the jock they're not the most popular person in the
in the school yet they have these specific skill sets that
they've acquired through gaming over the last 10 years and been
able to help them harness that into hey you know what maybe you
can think about making a career out this maybe you can think
about game development I think about taking those skills in
joining an organization like a Google or Facebook or Amazon and
utilizing those kind of technical skills that you've
developed so I could definitely tell you very evidence-based
why's that gaming skills transfer to life skills job
skills it transfers to real life very
quickly and competently Genesee I'm I'm curious your
perspective on this especially given that you managed so many
gaming communities like how many people do you see taking some of
their skill sets in either moving up in an informal or
formal manner the social hierarchy to community hierarchy
and maybe even getting jobs out of it absolutely I mean leadership
skills are definitely something that happens when you're playing
games especially multiplayer or either team games yeah you know
me and I've told you this before about my desire to do this whole
podcast series on how gaming has teaches you project
management skills and other strategies skills and how that
translates into real life my personal one my my depression
story if you will is that you know if you're spending for me I
was spending a lot of time we too much time you know
optimizing my characters in game looking at them and looking at
their stats and saying all your supposed Village has the
intelligence here here is my strength stats as spending a lot
of time doing that and game and then feeling really bad about
the fact that I was sitting here with my muffin top doing
absolutely nothing right so there's a way for you to
translate that into real life soap for me that was a big kick
in the butt of like hey I just met you to 15 hours this week
off to mising a digital character that had that is great
for a game game super successful while I'm sitting here you know
if spaghetti armed and that kind of wasn't if it is for me to get
into physical fitness to get into karate to get my second
degree black belt to become you know martial artist because if I
could see my character doing this and kicking people with a
real kick why can't I do that and that's a place for me to
kind of take those skills and take that Dedication that I'm
putting into this character and apply it to my own physical body
so there's a lot of translations I think back and forth between
the digital world in the physical world if you choose to
make that a priority it's almost like a mitten maxing has a place it's not a dreaded going after
all I can talk about the ways that
you know I do isn't it for other people but I'm going to share a
personal story cuz I'm inspired by the Genesee the sharing of
personal story as well I literally think about my life
and I met before in a pretty dark souls and post Dark Souls
time there is like a moment when I was playing Dark Souls for the
first time and a buddy of I put it on my Xbox and I hated
it and I like one of the throw the controller across the room
is so hard I act like a failure it was just everything just
confronting all of my in a little demons on my shoulder
whisper in my ear about how I couldn't accomplish things and
so I realized that was an area of growth for me that I needed
to work on and I basically used Dark Souls III ended up I know I
saved face while he was there a little bit and then later on I
bought it digital download played it by myself and like I
used it as a training for my own resiliency because that game
will punish you and punish you and punish you and you have to
incrementally get better and really utilize a growth mindset
to overcome and every time you learned something it's okay if
left right where I almost got that the timing right for the
Perry or whatever and it really is a grind and you have to be
able to push through it and I I remember having experiences as a
grad school student is in early entrepreneur when I was like
feeling the pressure to give up right that feel like this is
hard I want to do this I'm feeling like a failure and then
sort of remembering in Conjuring up that feeling of like I'm at the campfire and I got to
go back out again and I might come back to this can't find my
make it to the next camp fire but this is the process and I
remember taking that dad likes her too dark souls ring of mind
with me and that's what how I got through grad school and how
I got you know into the business world and so on and so forth was
just thinking about the next campfire fire I want to play it never play the
game before it's so hard games to play at a time like
self-proclaimed the competitive around his Petras alright and
when I think it's such as I think about problem solving and
in doing so at a rate where it's like if I can if I can do that
while I'm Dreaming imagine what I could do in the workplace
right when I really set my mind to it and one of my favorite
things to talk about when I'm having this type of conversation
is time management cuz I think of speed running and I think of
how speed running is such a popular sub jonra in the Gaming
Community was such a huge fan base and I'm like if you could
manage your time well enough to be able to almost break a game
in order to either completed a within a given time or be the
fastest person to get from start to finish right imagine what you
could do if you were to apply those skills into your career or
on the project you're working on maybe something that is going on
in your life that you know it's like if if unable to manage my
time a little bit more wisely or intentionally in can relieve
some stress that I'm having around it so I love the fact
that gaming has really cultivated it and I especially
going to eat Shameless Plug & Shout out but I really
appreciate you don't work if I take this and game to grow and
other organs that are really intersecting mental health with
gaming and The Gaming Community because that's what a lot of
this is kind of like humility accumulating in to
write like how we navigating these conversations around
allistic ways to to play video games at the app lets Gamers
while acknowledging that we are people right and that we have
stuff and we need ways to be able to Stuart are trauma so
where never talked about the idea that game skills transfer
to real life skills that games help build communities that
games help build resilience that games bring us together in many ways
so why do you all think the sort of Big Bang Theory comic book
guy you know stereotypes the games are exclusive you know a
white sis hetero male domain why do you think these stereotypes
still linger Mercurio cultural really don't know I was going to
say it's worth we follow the money but that's the different
Channel thanks know I really appreciate you
saying that I don't because I shared this with some of y'all
before but I've been playing Dungeons & Dragons since I was
11 years old for it and I was taught by my uncle my uncle
played D&D going back to advantages of dragons with a
group of friends that I grew up in the Bronx they're all black
in Latin X and the way that the acquired the materials to play
D&D players handbook the unguided all that was that if
fell off the back of a truck right like that's that's the
running joke but it's like who in the Bronx was you know like
especially during their era really had the cash to be able
to buy it to have access to it to feel like it was something
you could play it on you know my truth a Christian household
pranks cuz of all the stereotype it all that I think that having
had access to that and the way that I did really made an impact
on me and the way that have this relationship with gaming and
with the community-at-large at large so that's just something
that I kind of like want to name and I want to hold some space
around because you never know who is on the opposite side of
the screen video games or tabletop games
what are there lived experiences what are they going through who
are they are who are they intending to be why the aspiring
to be dating is such a holistic and Saints days to be blind
navigate is intersecting identities so what I think about
that like stereotype of the Sith why I had a real guy you know
positive reinforcement I like to think hey maybe be that this had
a real guy is noticed this LOL guy you never know right I mean
I used to think a lot of those things and then I learned and I
was given access to the spaces and I learned that there are
people like sonicfox who too old to play games and who look like
me and who that's why you got to be but I do and they really did
paved the way for me to be able to have my own gender journey
and coming out experience that I appreciate that though they're
amazing part of the issue of the issue
is and I'm going to piggyback off with Rafi was saying as far
as the falling off the truck and that's the gatekeeping aspects
right so if that game hadn't fallen off the truck how would
you had access and I think the problem we have with any jonra
any fandom is that gatekeeping and keeping people out but we're
at a point now where it's hard to keep everyone out you can you
can access this environment in so many different venues but I
think some of the stigma is still there because of access I
think you know I know you were joking Adam when you said follow
the money but you know how expensive is it to get into
gaming you know what's the cost where do you
have to go will you have to have me write you have to be able to
be in a car and drive to a store have certain amounts of money
freed up money to be able to afford these stacks and I think
that's an Avenue that is keeping the stereotype there although we
are breaking them down and different backgrounds that
are involved and you have to ask a question how are you there
right and you're like oh my gosh that's kind of cool I kind of
want to get to know you you look like me you're doing some of the
same things as I and you're in this gaming environment that I
knew nothing about me you know in the more that we open this
stuff and we we make it more accessible I think we're going
to get further and further away from the stereotypes in the
perspective that still linger that it only for a certain group
or John real people think we're getting better but I think I
have to continue to make this accessible I didn't go to a
local comic book shop because I didn't know about local comic
book shops I didn't know those were think they weren't in the
hood grown having children having a
good career where I could find out about this whole world that
existed but that's not okay right that's not okay it should
wait till I'm at the time I found this environment was and
I'll be very transparent 2016 and I've already told you guys
that I'm in my mid-thirties so do the math on that right like
there's no I had no exposure to the environment and so the
stereotype would continue and now I have my kids who I've
exposed younger than where I was we have
to break those barriers that are there and an open it up the
folks all over the place I'm so happy to hear that it fell off
the truck in the Bronx right I wish I'm from St Louis the inner
city to st.

Louis omigosh if it could have fallen off the truck
you know in North st. Louis that would have been so awesome now
but there's no comic book shop for the truck to go to what I'm hearing is gatekeeping
I mean gatekeeping is a big in various formats whether it's a
social form of gatekeeping or a monetary form of gatekeeping
gatekeeping gatekeeping is one of the root causes for the
lingering stereotypes you know that We've joked about so how how to change that I
realized that the huge question that is an absolutely huge
question but I'm thinking about in the last couple years were
starting to see major Studios to take quote-unquote risks with with
making female-centric movies Wonder Woman we saw the huge
success a black panther we keep that ball rolling to let
it to make these oh yeah I see that shirt we see that shirt dr.
J but we how do we keep the ball rolling so we break down these
social and monetary barriers to but everybody know that games
are safe social it was in certain circumstances are good social space to explore
identity social skills anything you want how do we do that that having the people make the games
that reflect the people playing the game is a great start and
where are they you know working on that one of things for me
that was personally impactful I mean it was only a few years ago
but it's like hey female chef Camp Chef right like for Mass
Effect okay so you know you can choose like who's your favorite
on the Citadel I don't like to hear that you know certain
movies don't succeed if they have a female lead you know
Black Widow accept her at like it's nice to have that option
it's nice to have a character that represents you it's nice to
see yourself as a hero in a game and it's nice to know that
people are making games that you know represent you so it's it's
important that the designers the developers the people behind the
game are actually have the opportunities to make things
that they like to make an an arcade kept themselves
themselves again I'm going to jump on that
and say you're exactly right the people we need to have access to
be able to make the games right we need to get these kids and
opportunities to see the S even an option that they can be a
game developer and and you can go out and have a dream as big
as you want right how are the people that are making the games
now doing it they had these dreams as kids and then somehow
they had exposed to it and so we have to have some exposure genre in every place in our
society and make these things happen
I'll be honest with you I have no desire to to make this stuff
right but I am a consumer of it so you take someone like me who
I now have a little bit of means I can help someone get into the
Jabra right I can back you I can say hey you know what would you
need like right literally right now I back probably four or five
different creators I purposely go out and fine folks who are
doing their own comic books are their own story line for their
own gaming the developing I'm like how do I get in with you on
the ground floor I don't want to do anything else that's
important and consume the content in front of those kids we got to
get it all genres all areas all walks of life in society
released kids know that this is an opportunity and and help him
dream big outside the box and incidentally let me say this
real quick I don't want to take all the time but I literally
told my wife last night we were talking about the death of
Chadwick Boseman and she said anything to do with black
panther I said they have a perfect opportunity shuri
becomes the next Black Panther yes perfect opportunity shuri
becomes the next Black Panther and going back to what you said
about all a female can't carry it we need to get away from
there what are you talkin about I just got chills when you talk
about that gosh what kind of black panther
would she be right I mean know I just sent you that in so
you guys heard me say comic book my entry into this one of the
things I did for my my children was I said what are you
interested in I will collect comic books for you as well what
do you want what do you want to read you want to see someone
that looks like you you want to read about somebody that acts
like you act that comes from where you come from a literally
we have to choose comic book area in my basement and it's not
just my comic books comic books for my daughter who's probably
going to be you know some kind of lawyer in N Chik Town
entertainment house right and I got my Brainiac daughter who's
you know who's reading comic books along those lines and then
I got my son whose biomedical engineering comic books for him
and I even got a few my wife's not into it but she didn't know
that I've been buying comic books for what I think she
should be reading too but and put it in front of them all
right left of driving is so many
things I could talk about hear my my background before I got
into the my working hours in politics I'm like I think about
this and some sort of like Grandeur socio-political context
of like we got to get coding programs in schools for kids in
every school for kids but is also somebody more like sort of
radical Democratic things we can do just in the nature of the
games we play eye doctor day you were talking about supporting
infinite creators Raiders a whole host of independent
creators in the tabletop world that are doing crowdfunding that
are doing you know patreon Style support that they can get a lot
of great things in the DMS Guild etcetera etcetera etcetera but
even in did you buy the books and you play the the traditional
games you can come modify everything and that's the beauty
of the of a game that exist in our imaginations like a tabletop
RPGs are is that we can let the the space in our imaginative
game reflect the complexities in the diversity of the richness of
the Human Experience to actually exist in the world in n and let
the car games like let the world of the game be as diverse as it
is known as the players who play that game and I would say
building on the rapper you said around build make me a safe
space for gamers is is essential that's what it comes down to you
and you know just evens doing stuff like what are your
characters pronouns is a huge transformative thing to see with
players because they're they're having a
reflection of this is a conversation we can have now
about pronouns what are my pronouns then I can count on
more than one hand the number of participants in his game to have
come out to their adventuring party because they now have
created a safe space and the rest of the group is like cool
yeah it's it's a it's an awesome
experience to see how the safe spaces that we can create really
do help serve expand the table so what do I think we can do to
make this world a better place have an extra seat at your table
and bring somebody else in else in be inviting us support support ND creators
creators especially the Indy creators who are breaking out of
the mold of the stereotypes that were talking about invite people to your table and
we maintain that's how you know you know we've talked about how
games are intrinsically social and we haven't brought up the
elephant in the room and that's that's toxic Behavior both an
online formats and Eva not a no IRL if we're playing at the same
table as other people how do we avoid that how do we
circumvent that how do we fix that to make it this is a conversation about
Collective accountability I think my NYC Gamers hour Discord our
Facebook group it starts and ends with our space agreements
right and he's our agreements that was crafted by stakeholders
within our social media platform community members having
conversations about ways that we can hold each other accountable
to create Estates space but sustaining make sure that it's
something that's a claim be safe by the folks who are investing
in our platforms cuz it's one thing I think that social media
to be buried performative at times when they use the term
safe space think it's different when we're having more
intentional conversations around how are we getting access to
books to clean safety and spaces it also collect of
accountability right even social media platforms like Twitter
whenever there's something that's trending because because
a huge mainstream AAA title did something.

The black community
is saying that's super problematic right being aspiring
allies to the black community stakeholders with that are and
and the black community at Large regardless of intersecting
identities that you hold being able to come together and
utilized Trending platform to hold game developers accountable
but also the people who are playing those games and buying
those games accountable that's where it starts and ends in my
opinion I think that it's not just an Institutional issues
also an interpersonal one you know I have like a I have my
children family right but you're trans a gender you pray and My
Chosen daughter she's trans Latina and her game is OverWatch
she loves OverWatch and whatever she plays online she much
prefers playing with her friends because that's her stay Sphynx
doesn't change the fact that we still need to navigate how are
we engaging with the Enemy team with other folks were on game
chat when they see her for your tag and they use it as a way to
be able to make transphobic remarks towards her or to use it
as a way to disrupt herself carrot sustainability what she's
playing video games we we coming to that
conversation away where we're not restricting her autonomy to
be able to defend yourself and to be able to reclaim her safety
in the narrative but we hold our community accountable to make
sure that this isn't something that is persistent that it's not
something that continuously happens even if it's us you know
I'm five people at the same time reporting a percent are reaching
out to a game development company of thing listen this
happened and this needs to be addressed so that collect the
stakeholder power is so important when it comes to that
collect of accountability what strikes me that not only a even
having a Collective Agreement like that isn't an in and of
itself of prosocial thing because it is in order to engage
with your community you have a literal social contract and the
ability to successfully navigate that and make amends when a
transgression is mammy that's the nature of any successful
relationship right that it relationships don't grow in the
absence of conflict they grow through the resolution of it and
being able to successfully do that is it is an incredibly
prosocial thing thing that's a that's amazing what about the rest of what do
y'all think about this cool things about gaming as that
depending on the type of game you're playing your ability in
the game is more important sometimes then the prejudices
that exist for there was playing with you so if you really good
at what you're doing and you're helping your team win and you
are an asset that's a way to kind of have an into allowing
people to have the ability to change their View and change
their mind about who you are because you're actually
benefiting their team and you know that that's something that
I think I've seen before when I've played but yeah it's
Rockies game like you can build these types of communities in
the game itself I'm going to think that right does a really
good job on it were talking about OverWatch the few minutes
ago I love how if you're insulting someone in chat it
says things like Rosen good match or something like that
like there are ways that it will you know edit certain things to
kind of Foster a more friendly bout of competition and you know
there are other games of course like you know League of Legends
where you know you have community you know trials and
arbitration and ways for people to you know of bring their
grievances the community of self and have the community police
that and decide how they're going to you know what's
acceptable behavior for that community and there are a lot of
ways do that but in the game and outside the game and India post
game but yeah I know what those things are really important to
consider when you're making a game or when you be a part of a
gaming community and how they actually perceive know the
things that are important to you as a player the last question I think a
little bit of that is going again echoing the idea of
forming communities and choosing your community and echoing that
it's okay it's okay to partner up with
whomever you want to partner up with and it really pushing that
concept and opening up the idea it's okay if you don't look like
me or talk like me or have the same experience as I have her
live in the same zip code I think that the more that we push
that I think we're breaking down barriers and I think that's an
unattended or unanticipated A+ oxymoron there any idea that we would be
joining so many different types of people together for gaming you know about this before but I
told you and I literally fuse together my biking world with my
letter and quite and orange Comic-Con on the motorcycle you know go together and put it all
together and it works and no one shoe tell us about what you doing and it pack Sturgis descent so we got just a little quickly
we're just about out of time but it in thinking of gaming as a
truly prosocial activity if the audience can only take one thing
away from this panel just lightning round real quick what
do you want it to be Genesee let's start with you I hate this take away you get out of it what
you bring to it let's just say that right like be open to the
idea that Kami + communities in the people in games can educate you in ways that you
would never experienced in in the area that you're in you know
for me like I've told her before like small-town Podunk Town
nowhere where would never have had experiences that I've had in
life if it was not for games I need believe me to meet people
that are so very different than me and a very many different
ideas but I do and even just as a career in gaming the option to
pursue something that you love you know no matter even if
you're not you know in LA it is a great thing so does my tiny
little nugget nugget beautiful the Fantastic wrapping let's
kick it over to you what do you want people to play with NYC
Gamers our motto is ubelong so I think that that's going to be
the holding space that I have for this one if you're watching
this listening to us know that you matter wherever your gender
Journey leads where ever the roping take you gaming is always
going to be an into space for you regardless of the
circumstances amazing amazing Adam Davis I'm a build on what was already
been said I think it's important to have an extra spot at your
table maybe it's not a seat maybe that person is coming to
your table that has their own chair but make sure that there's
a spot on your table for other people to join you I think
that's the lesson I would love for people to take away and that
it's on tonight about the game the benefits that come with it
it's about to play and just reminding people that the game
is just a vessel and it is the play that is the thing dr.

J take us home all right I want to say access
access access I am a consumer and I want to be involved in all
these different genres so allow us to have access all of us no
matter who you are those who are are hosting these things open it
up let it be acceptable to every
Walk of Life open it up so folks can get in you be so surprised
at how many people want to be a part of this world and with
biscuits how much benefit from it so access access access
that's awesome well thank you everybody for being here I cannot say how much I
appreciate this especially as we had a technical error the first
time we try to record this panel and that was entirely my fault
and everybody was being kind enough to record this again and
bring all their wonderful insights real quick work and everybody
find you on the socials dr.

Jay will go to Med dr. J Dr that's actually dr. J
Lieutenant Commander you can find me there I see a 3/4 sites
that will all link if you type in dr. J You'll find me awesome
and Davis and you can find me on Twitter at Sparks for sharks I'm
going to learn more about game to grow at game Teo grow on
Twitter Facebook and Instagram in our mental health trainer a
package rabbit you can find me on Twitter
atrophy Reggie Lewis stats are awfy Reggie Lewis like the star
in the heart of the Leo constellation and follow us
official NYC G or join our mailing list at emerge.

NYC
awesome Genesee you can find Good Shepherd games at Twitter
at Good Shepherd Kent and me at gray area podcast grey and gray
area podcast. Com and I MV doctor be on Twitter and the
Pearly all the socials but really you should be following
at take this org if you ever want to learn more about what
we're up to you want to support our Mental Health Mission with
in the game Community both on the on the consumer and the
industry side but thank you so much everybody for being here
for all of you watching have a wonderful rest of packs online
this is so Monumental that packs is doing this nine days on my
but I thank you everybody and keep being awesome and social hello packs online and welcomes
this very special edition of Niantic office hours I am your
host my name is kit I just have to HR operations different Jenny's into the game
industry so I'm going to hand it over to us because in just hello packs online and welcome
to this very special edition of Niantic office hours I am your
host my name is kit I just have to operations incredible lineup today to talk
you through different Jenny's into the game industry so I'm
going to hand it over to us because in just a second
introduce themselves but just at the stage today weather going to
be hopefully persuading you all the different routes you can
take to move into games I think once you're participating as a
consumer but you don't necessarily have
an obvious way in seem like a bit of a black box so what I
hope you need today with a great sense of how all three different
kindness is taken out oceans available to you so
today we're going to be trying to Trinidad I'll head again I Global Laura
Pausini game designer walking on Pokemon go designer walking on
Pokemon go Anthony are technically lead manager to all of you to tell the
audience a little bit more about yourself Trinidad you want to
kick us about your role where you started as well hi everybody I am the head of
diversity and inclusion at Niantic and it started way back
when and Big Data Tech and I have a passion for people I have
a passion for empowering people with information to help them
change and and Empower them with the tools that they need to move
not only are business forward but also making sure that it's a
macro plate for all people and honestly this is been one of the
best careers pass that I could have ever taken and I didn't get
to the game industry by the conventional way which was like
going to school or or just having parents in the industry
or knowing people I knew nobody and honestly I didn't even know
what Niantic was when I started I mean that when I started but
when I interviewed I was like go oh yeah yeah yes let me go
for it you know and I didn't know anybody in the company I
did the conventional route of applying online through the
regular sources that we used to search for jobs so I'm here I'm not going
anywhere I'm addicted now I love the game industry I love the
people how eccentric we are sometimes and how did we are but
then also how creative we are and how much we we are just
passionate about creating games that can impact people so I'm
here thank you Laura so I probably have a bit of a
winding path into the games industry it it really started
for me when I was a kid playing video games with my brother
growing up like that was always there life but I
actually I was going to grow up to be a 3D animator so I went to
school to study art so I have a traditional art degree as well
as a certificate in 3D animation was going for that Journey the
University of about University of Utah started a graduate
program where they were going to focus on video games and stuff and we know you love
video games will you come be a part of the first cohort for
this graduate program program I got really lucky that
the program teaches game design I went through the program and I
still at that point I thought I was going to be a 3D animator my
first job Hood Games industry was actually is an insurance in
animation for Disney other video game studios while I was there they came over
and reached out to me because they knew I was really pissed
about video games and that I was a woman working in the industry and they were trying to make
that work going to be a bit more female Focus for Disney Infinity I'm supposed to be doing with my
life and said 7 plus years studying I need to make a pretty big
career change so over the course of that and a couple of really
awesome opportunity and support from friends in the industry I
was able to switch to become a game designer instead and then
eventually it that led me to my current role where I am a senior
designer Acura is working on Pokemon go Daphne you want to
share your awesome start yeah I also grew up playing games
with my brothers and like I it's so funny because I never
considered myself a game where I always considered them Gamers
but not me even though I played alongside them all the time and so it took me a long time to
like Embrace that as like a part of my identity no one can tell me nothing I'm
definitely not.

I did not feel this way but
yeah my name's was actually probably
more like the most like traditional CS babe in the sense
that I got a Bachelor's degree in computer science and I got a
master's in computer science and I actually got into game a
little later in my career in directly through doing like
more framework see kind of work and so you know multiple
positions that I had before Nyan I was actually like writing code
that supported developers who built games as opposed to being
the person who is building the game and that's what ended up
leaving me here and so you know prior to this job I was actually
working at Apple and so I was working on What's called the
foundation framework it's basically for anybody who's
worked an extra phone when you open up a new xcode project and
you see import Foundation that was my team and so like millions
of developers were using my card every day and I'm tired too that
was working at a startup that was building an SDK that at the
time was like revolutionary but you know now it's kind of
laughable but they were essentially just trying to get
they got to check to see you to run natively on Android phones
and so like our Prime customers at that point where like game
developers and so we were still we were in the industry
potential and so now very intentional choice to be
like I want to be a want to be at the front of it this time I
want to get her into different part of the stuff I want to
actually be like making stuff that people can actually see and
interact with and play with and not necessarily do you like the
Wally behind scenes which is what I used to call myself and so it's been really awesome
working on Pico and being able to just like you know make some
money players happy you liked that's just a theory Austin
awesome thank you I think I'm really interesting common
thread.

For all of you is that you didn't write to his players
like however you kind of to find yourselves and Sons of game is
casual Hawk weather you will have that relationship with
games but none of you went straight in and I'm curious as
to before you are part of this industry how much of a sense of
it did you have I what would you like of your knowledge around
the roles available to you what it was like as a as a culture.
Me what waste your kind of what did you anticipate before you
are actually a part of the industry yeah just an interesting like subset of
text because it's like partially a subset but also
partially kind of its own thing right it's it's it's weird they
for Mama's Little Venn diagram right and so you know I mean
I'll be play like the committee around being a woman and James
and being a black and queer women and James is not great
it's just not I'm so like you know it's a little
nerve-wracking to to step into this and and feel like you're
putting yourself out on the chopping block every day but you know if it ends up being
completely worth while at least a husband for me and Mike
through this experience I wouldn't have met any of you and
y'all are absolutely lovely so like there are so many wonderful
people in the industry that I mean we can bust a whole other
channel with my share of difficult developers in my life to be able to work with people
who are so incredibly smart but also super sweet and I just I I
haven't had to feel like I've been shielded from just a lot of
the craziness that we see out in the media all the time so yeah
that was kind of my impression going in well I'm jobs Atlantic
has defied your expectations of course Trinidad what about you
you will roll is in such an obvious like they're not a game
designer developer but you're really integral.

How Niantic
functions and the how we all kind of walk towards this more
inclusive and what kind of wraps and sit and tell us a bit about your
understanding of the industry before you were a part of this
that I'm just a piggy piggyback off of what Daphne said I mean
the game industry definitely has a bad rap like and I don't know
if it's a bad rep I think for as long time it was it what is what
it was and I hear stories horror stories about like Booth babes
in the back back in the day and then just like at conferences
and different things like that and I'm just like okay so coming
in I know Niantic is one of those companies that's a hybrid
because it's we have a platform and then we also Creed game so
it was a mixture of Tack and gaming and it wasn't your
traditional Studio so coming in I wanted to defy
everything that Daphne said you know I don't I don't want our
people to have that negative experience of of coming to
Niantic and saying I was just like everywhere else I want
people to come to Niantic in and say Alyssa breath of fresh air
breath of fresh air I like it yes we still have crunch times
yes we still have a high we are asking for a lot of work we want
you to produce that's that's just normal but at the same time
we have a community where a family we trust each other we
value each other with respect each other and that's why we're
able to build such a great team of
people who who lives in and really go above and beyond for
our games it's a little like woman fuzzy
now Laura how about you what was your kind of understanding of
the different roles that cultural of Industry when I was growing up which has
several moons ago gamer it was definitely like my
defining the hobby but at that point in time there were things
like Dev blogs there were amazing conferences like Pat's
where you can see developers and gamemakers talks so void right I
do video games against it and I love them and I played them but
I have no real concept to where they came from other than I
assumed somebody honestly wasn't until I got to
grad school and we started looking at all the options of
the games industry all the different roles or texts you know expensive it wasn't until we
start a conversation a real industry to look into and
my parents have always been super supportive but I know what
else I'm going to work in games are like what do they pay you viable career path but you know is really great because I want
everyone to know that there are passing to the games industry
that this is a real job that they pass to do this awesome
work and that like you know as turn down in Daphne like for a
long time then the story's been pretty small and pretty close to
who is going to be a part of it and I think it's been really
great to work with women and people of different backgrounds
of diversity in the industry of like this in seeing other
panels and talking to other people in the industry is so
important to just see how the industry is growing and then
what I have something to add to what
Laura said you mentioned something about the different
roles and types and I want to remind everybody who's watching
that you can be an HR you can be in marketing you can be in legal
you can you can be in facilities you could be in finance you can
be an Ops like I just did some of the different pathways it's
like it's like any other company you need a function and you need
to be able to have all the different functions to move
forward and in so don't limit yourself if you were passionate
about game design yes if you're passionate about software
engineering yes but also know that if you do not if you don't
know what your Niche is yet that this is your opportunity I would also add to Trinidad time and I think it's
particularly important to highlight that like one thing I find really
interesting about Niantic and in Pokemon go in particular having
worked and let the team bike Adam management level have
several managers so many who have like that's in the industry
of you know with ranging years of experience who have dealt
with such like or riffic French experiences that passed game
companies that like in some ways it's like they brought their
their trauma with them like in the sense that they never want
to relive that again and they never want to put their
employees are the organs do that again and so like it's it's
interesting I wanted to highlight that particular point
because I feel like French is considered a norm in
the industry in a lot of ways and it's been really interesting
to see how like so many Niantic have bike fought back against adamant about it not being a
thing here and anytime there's even a hint toward the people
start to get a little little Nancy and I like no we don't
like them you know which is highly unusual when you consider
just like the reputation of a lot of other companies one And I think it was a testament
definitely to YouTube peroxide who are watching this then not
in the industry already sometimes it is hard to know
what leap you want to make and of course how to make that
leaves but I think that process if I like what is the thing that
truly energizes you what do you really want to get up in the
morning and do it hard and each of you have done it so I would
love to hear ya I may be starting with you Laura because
you had your light bulb moment and not meeting which I'm so
jealous so I wish that my Craig came to me that you did I'd love
to know a little bit about how you supposed to be what is the
thing I really want to do and how you then pivoted that into
workings games shirts so yeah like I said earlier I did I was
in that meeting and I don't want the meeting could have been
going for 5 minutes before I was like this is like some time to reflect as I
had spent so long training to become a professional.

On was a pretty big one but I I
can be fairly stubborn so once I realized as I was aware my true
passion was going to be I made the commitment that I was going
to start working for Safeway at the internship I was at the they
were supportive of that may help me start working on while I was
there and then I started keeping an eye on all possible rolls
that might be coming up that was in the area I was in at the time
of the Salt Lake that opened up a three-month
contract roll and honestly it like one of the biggest things I
can say for anyone who's looking to get into the industry and
thinks this might be their path is start reaching out to folks
in the industry like whether it's connecting with folks on
social media or on professional social media social media when does the
scroll of a friend had applied for it and they actually moved
him to a different role of the company and reopen the
three-month contract and then when it reopened I applied and
my resume and they're like well she's animator me she has an incredible
potential do the game design test and
you'll see like I know her resume doesn't match up but just
take the half an hour to buy promise I'll show you what she hasn't
had Josh not been willing to do you know up for me and when my
resume didn't necessarily 100% wine for what they're worth yet
I never would have got there that friend in the industry
really made all the difference in that moment so networking is
invaluable when it comes to getting a lot of it is about who
you know and if you're not reaching out this
is got to be the most chill group of people in any
industry have ever met.

I was always happy to chat with people
who are trying to get into the industry students before
interest in taking a picture shift because we've all been
there right we've all needed help from somebody else in the
industry we all need one just one person to accept getting to know them I'm
definitely going to pick up at thread a little later with
everyone else about networking the world us they'd I think
sometimes it's you is the culmination of doing
loads of hard work so the thing that matters to you and the
thing that sells good in terms of just your integrity is the
thing that sentence you getting a job what I was saying we're my
friend got me the interview had I shown up and not been prepared
they would have been like if we were right for you but I studied so much
between the opportunity sure you're prepared for Windows let's talk about you because you
obviously prior to working Indian eyewear program manager
and I think it's you've been trusting that you did you tip at
it into your passion and you did not end game so tell us a bit
about how you went through the process of reflection and how
you kind of consciously moved yourself into the role he wanted so I worked Indian I prior to being a product manager
so I'm when we got a quite like I work for DmC and then we got
acquired by Adele I kind of saw the writing on the wall and I
was like who I should probably get a job somewhere where they
can't fire me and and so I to Laura Network and had friends in
high and low places and they some of them are managers know I
hate we have this product manager role we know that this
is not your I was a program manager at the time in dni and
they're like we think that you can do it are you willing to
take the challenge and so that meant me moving cross-country so
I moved from Boston to Santa Clara California and I worked on
our data protection I worked on hardware and
software and it was our bread-and-butter and I loved it
in the beginning until I realize I was like I'm not really passionate about
data protection I mean I know we need it but I mean I'm not changing the
world and at that time I was like the lead of every ERG
imagine in Santa Clara a leadership team but like I was they all knew that I was coming
from the dni space and they're like oh my God that's so great
you're here it was fun but I just found that I was
still doing that was my passion like I would do my work and then
I would focus on developing the people around me and I I had a
moment where I was like when was the last time I was genuinely
happy with my work because at that time work for me was it was
almost like I'd get it done quickly just so that I could
focus on what I love and so I think at this time I took time
to really reflect and I was it was the last time I was talking
to my mom and she was like when you were doing d&i you don't
remember you were just like you would how the hours of the night
and he didn't care and and I was like wow like you're right so
from that moment on I only applied to DNA rules like I made
a very specific decision to not apply apply getting hit up for
product everywhere like Google thank you you know Facebook
because they need product managers and also they need
women of color in product manager if it was a shoe-in but at the
same time I felt like that was a distraction because yes I love
Google yes I love these big companies but I am passionate
about diversity and inclusion and if you're not going to
accept me in that role then I can't help you and so long story
short I literally just applied to dni rolls and that's how I
arrived at Niantic it was so we're going to talk a
little bit more in a couple of minutes about exactly how
Trinidad Go Ahead Tours Atlanta which is a great story one of my
favorites but we thought before we do that that's me tell us how
did you say you went from walking Apple to walking in
Niantic how did you cut a bunch of free reflect on what you
wanted out of that transition and make it a reality feels
house yeah it's a great mission I have up until just before
working at Niantic I had spent my whole career you know working
in what lower in the stack and so I was always you know
building the stuff that needed to do the work that they did
that users actually interacted with which was great because it
just like was a very interesting vantage point I got to see up
into what like developers needed higher up in the stack but I
also was low enough to see into like the staff the part of the
stocks below me so like you know into the actual heroes or like I
worked with drivers at some point like I was I was doing you
know and I that I did kind of ran the gamut and so like as
much as I loved my work at Apple and end really did feel like the
contributions I was making War real contribution I had a hard
time I found the frustration of having a hard time explaining to
people like what exactly I did and like you know I would be
like on Foundation feel like I'm okay that's cool and I'm like no
no you don't you don't understand I'm like the reason why you have
a rainbow is because I wrote that coat the reason why you
have like a female professionals like Surfer who
can be black is because I wrote the logic I love being able to two to you no work at that level and
be able to to support Deb's at that level but I wanted to
switch into a role that was a lot more user-facing where my
work was a lot more obvious and it's like I can point to this
thing and be like yeah here it is in the game you can see it
very clearly I was really excited about that
transition but I would add really quickly do you like since
we were talking about like career switches and kind of that
like when you realize I'd so I had mentioned earlier
that I took a more like traditional CS route into games
but what I did not mention is I took a very like weird route
into say yes which was like I actually went to school one time
I under Got a New York thinking that I was going to study
fashion journalism and so like that was that was where I was a t and I moved to New York City
I want to buy an egg and I was like I'm going to work for Vogue
and this is going to be my life and it did not work out that way
but it was just kind of funny because it feels like CS found
me and a lot of ways and so you know like in Trinidad was
talking about just kind of like you shouldn't you have that
anecdote of you know being willing to put so many hours
until dni and like I kind of knew how much I love programming
when I took like a solo trip to Germany won but had CS homework
and ended up spending I was only there for 24 hours and I
literally spent the whole day at a Starbucks working on building
like a network local client and server and I just like had so
much fun to play with my headphones on what am I doing but it was just
like the best time ever I saw when we talked about like
making his career I think often times people get tripped up on
this idea of like fun your passion cuz it just feels like
it's very overwhelming things to do but I I do know turn that
into for myself is just like find your joy like find where
you have fun find those moments that interest you the most where
you're just like I can do this all day or like even if it's not
all day it's like I could I would prefer to do this over
doing this other thing and my pay attention to when you have
those Clues sorry starting to unmute myself
that you know what's crazy I also saw fit in fashion
journalism did the main take away is that if you want what
for Niantic be a fashion journalist for sure amount of
time and then just scooped out of the we will welcome you the part that and actually I was
having a conversation with a friend the other day is looking
to kind of give it a little bit and tons of the industry on the
big thing is like how do I express live this experience
that I have which I can see how there is a relationship that
with the role I want and I have all the CDs interest in the
world I want but I look at the job description and I'm not like
an obvious fit for it but I think I'd be great how would you
approach that don't know how did you approach that be like
they're all kind of obvious parallels be you and your role are some tips on that application process
indicator in the world when I can to Niantic and
expressed interest in a game.

I had never worked on Unity like
not at least not in a production Center bit that I have done on
unity prayer was just like game jams on my own time it was in
and it wasn't even super expensive and so like you know
they're the team has to know what they were getting and
bringing me on board cuz we're definitely our Unity Shoppe and
it was really nerve-racking at first it was hard to you know it
was hard for me to justify even to myself that I deserved it
because of that and I feel like that's really where it starts I
was really lucky because like and I know you mentioned will
talk about networking later but like I had known somebody who
was at Niantic already and liked they were able to put in a good
word for me but like on top of that I think they're also comes
a point in your career wear your resume just kind of starts to
speak for itself in the sense that like you know and I think Nancy has really
good about this but other companies do this as well where
it's just like you know maybe you don't have the exact
qualities that they're looking for and the list but they trust
that you're capable of doing the work because you have a history
of doing great work elsewhere and so like magic was able to talk to look
at my history of doing great work elsewhere and be like okay
you don't know this one tool but your programmer you can pick it
up that's what program is do they learn new tools so like we
have full faith in your ability to learn new tools and I was
really appreciative of that I remember like you know when I
first first started at 9 like we had a internal hackathon and I
wanted to do it because it was a good opportunity for me to like
do a bit of a crash course in unity and I remember like you
know it was using this like part of our platform that were you
know really awesome but also very new and I was experimenting
but a lot of it was also me just like learning how to like set up
a Unity project and start from the end so after the hackathon
you know they wanted us to like resent these projects to the
whole company and like my it just was very easy for me to see
very early on that like the quality of what I produced was
like so much lower than my what everybody else and cranked out
and I was also one man team versus like these other teams
that were like three or four people or they were working on
something for existing and I I remember right before that that
you know all hands meeting I was on the phone with my parents 20
minutes beforehand in the lobby of the ferry building stopping
because I was like my coworkers are going to think I'm stupid
they're going to think I don't deserve this job like I said
they're going to want to fire me like I had my project with soda and my parents were like no like
you just have to like it and you're going to be fine
and I was like everyone just going to think I'm so stupid and
so I I remember like you know I put a smile on my face and I'm
presented the hell out of that big and I was just like okay and
I are actually so much so much Wonderful Life it was a great
reception and actually Laura reached out to me it was like
hey your idea sounds really cool if you ever want to flush it out
more like come talk to me I can like give you some game design
tips don't necessarily have to have
these are skills to be actually it really quick when
you don't have you been on the other side of Daphne story ever
was blown away by what she was lesson for this industry is
imposter syndrome is real it's a it's a real thing a lot of folks regardless of the role or the
level at which they're they're all special when you're starting
a new job feeling like a trick them into hiring me why am I
here I don't know what I'm doing if you were so worried about it
is so crazy cuz I'm on the other side I just know that those those
moments of insecurity and fear they're real but I just pushed
through them and no one no one else would have ever guessed
that you were nervous pushing forward and like one
another as long as you're doing your best it'll probably work
out work out outbreak a tiny bit but I also
love that lesson and I try and look out for people that I've
walked with it was just backed themselves and they've kind of
got will be a school and it was live a great walk I get it does
kind of come together Trinidad I think the time just a little bit
country is of time and I want to talk about in that way I can but
I also really want to talk about you story of kind of how you go
to and say I also think it's pretty important to know that
you did it fly right and so it took us three like what was your
strategy and how did you demonstrate fit
with the roll can make it short and sweet like
I applied on a website and I got a call back and my first
conversation was with one of our recruiters her name is and Angie and Angela humans to Angie though anyways it's I'm
not a morning person anyways I was just talking to her late
last night actually Angela is amazing and in our first
conversation she was like wow I can hear your passion like you
you light up like because she asked me you know how do I add
my interviews been in and out but yeah I just had a product
manager interview and I think my tone was fake a light bulb and so just talking
to her going to the process I met some of the one that's real
people that work at 9 intake on my panel and I was surprised when I got to
the end where I had to meet with the CEO and that was where I
needed all this preparation you know I needed to have a
PowerPoint and show my 6 month plan I I mean I literally prayed
over it I went to every single person that I love and know that
I respect and said hey can you take a look at this can I
present it to you can I show you I practiced and and even my mentors I sent them
a rough draft house I hate can y'all see see you in my is like this is way to launch so
you need to cut this down to five slices I was like what and
I was I mean honestly that was good advice like understanding
art like how we are at Niantic so you know cut it down down and
so my diagram which was you know lovely which is like you know
diversity inclusion equity and then you know Niantic Circle and
there's a heart in the middle which is being a pointing to it
you know like all of our different I took the mission and
Idina put it in like a diagram and then I put a heart and that
was diversity Equity inclusion I said this should be the heart of
Niantic answer and in my one-on-one with John I said in
honestly if you're not ready to do the work don't hire me if you
are not interested in actually seeing systemic blockers broken
and change them I'm not the first person for you and I was
on the best things I ever said and did because you know we
talked about imposter syndrome in yeah that tries to sneak in
but I was authentically myself from day one and I have been
able to continue to be that because of being authentically
myself during all of the interviews and and and you know
not not code switching which is so easy to do when you're used
to doing it especially in Corporate America so yeah and
and I will say this like to to forward into go move forward and
two networking like doing my research of going on Twitter and
and befriending people going on LinkedIn befriending people
going on Facebook like and asking questions for people who
are were in my network on what I should do because I've never
been in this industry before that's what helped me up like
they lifted me as I was trying to climb and I can't tell you
how how invaluable invaluable how
valuable valuable sorry I have it is to network even now like
now in my position as Diddy and I I have external Partnerships
and I've been able to act like I have a village in the game
industry there's so many people that I like I went to GDC I'm so
many people that I'm like oh my gosh yeah we're going to be
friends forever you know and then going to two packs going to
these consumers III and and just Energy the people are excited
and when you find people who are become they become your village
you don't want to get rid of them and like I said I'm
addicted I'm not going anywhere like you know it's nice to be
able to find another game in the streets like I'm not going
anywhere and it has no funds to buy
Trinidad to my knowledge has Laura let's talk about
networking with you then because you mentioned it right of the
beginning and a matching like if someone is wanting to get into
game design now why should they go who should they be talking to
you like what event should be they be showing up at yeah I
would definitely encourage anyone who is interested in game
design to look at a couple of options there more traditional
right which I right which was going to an epidemic program the best fit for everyone I
think another really bad about is to be learning and studying
and Building & Design building games on your own as well that's
also super valid I think the starting to reach out to folks
whether I think your dad mentioned a few things lyrics on
Twitter or a LinkedIn or going to local game jams are going to
the local meet-ups for the games industry
there's a lot of different groups in the games industry to conferences and attending
conferences related to the games in the streets and other great
way just any place you think there might be folks who made
games it start looking for the Box start start attending like I
was mentioned earlier if you're intimidated just a big group who love video games right at
work really passionate about what we do but it's a lot of
people were just very thoughtful and kind and are excited to talk
to people are excited and I can say for those of you who might
be in the industry already like weather here mid to senior-level
the best thing you can do is Mentor somebody so somebody
reach out and they're looking for advice there is nothing more
bigger rating for your career has been talking to somebody
whose brand new or is trying to break into the industry you know
if you're having a rough time fresh eyes and just so excited
to take on the industry that just makes everything so much
better so honestly like the senior please just Reach Out reach out and try
to connect to you but it's okay to reach
out again after a couple weeks and be like hey just checking in
again so you had the chance to get back thanks thanks follow up will send a can
of final few minutes Daphne from engineering point of view why
should people be going whether it's been that working or
finding job opportunities in the industry what Laura said like I think
everything that you would do if you were interested in and
trying to learn more about game design of Laura put it like you
would do the same for engineering you would like
children games if that's the route that you want to take you
with read whatever books you can if that is what works better for
you as was going to put it lasted meetups lots of games
jams like there's there plenty of opportunities to go out and
and meet people and just reach out to them yeah I mean you know I feel like I can't cool well Trinidad keep me
honest on this but I think we're pretty much a Time we are okay
well thank you everyone so much for joining and thank you to a
wonderful panelist is Ben I think the lovelies catch up with
you I catch up with you anyway but it's been especially with
you and hear from you right now if you are interested in getting
into games do you check out all careers site I believe it is
Korea's don't plan to jobs.com where you can see what about
other things across all of our locations globally and you are
very welcome to reach out to any of us if you want any kind of
chips right by you can find me on LinkedIn cuz I am go to the group of wild and and
tell people where they could find you Trinidad why should
people bother you or reach out to you I am I am on LinkedIn as
well first name last name that her Mina but I'm also on Twitter
at this is Trini and on Discord at this is Trini twitch you can
find me at this is trany pretty much anywhere and this is
training is just this is t r i n i was that Laura how about you I
am also a LinkedIn full name is Laura Werner sofifa my profile a u r a w q call Aunt Daphne also I think Jen.

Neither Rose
and I'm actually don't use Twitter Twitter so incredibly
overwhelming but I'm definitely on Instagram so you can find me
a life is sweet good I use that handle for everything very inspiring I wish I had
slightly more imaginative and those now and that is it does thank you hello everyone this is Kevin
from Treasure Coast games here to give you a quick instruction
to our game hamster scramble cancer scramble is a brand new
Fusion between two familiars genres a platformer and a match
3 puzzle game it's separate into two distinct sections and
positive words up above and the platform stage in most puzzle games you just
have the game board and fro pieces at it from a static
location in hamster scramble however you have full control
over a character in the stage below it is also here but the
Hampshire's will scramble the Hampshire's enter from the top
of the stage by a pipes running up the sides of the area and
loop back up when they reach the bottom in order to make matches on the
puzzle board players will have to chase down and catch the
hamsters each hamster has a color in wincot becomes a ball
of the same color carried by the player two-player can a man throw the
ball at the board to try and make matches making match to
send zorbs at the opponent's board filling up a meter that
adds alignment full movie of pain as far down work were hit
the center line hit the center line the
platforming and puzzles themselves are rather
straightforward so I'll skip the fun part swapping enhancer scramble making matches
isn't the only way to attack your opponent players also have
the ability to swap into their opponent's side of the stage for
a limited time why are there can harass your
opponent and just truck their game plan by throwing balls at
their board stealing their hamsters for yourself or straight up finishing them
off play can defend themselves from
an invading opponent by attacking them which will knock
their hands and stun them for a short time them for a short time
finding the right times in positions to swap his key to
getting the most out of it Randall had its own unique
platform layout and mechanics such a slippery ice platforms
and Bubbles that catch hamsters and carry them upward players will have to adjust
their strategies depending on which stage they're playing in in our demo here at Pax online
up to 4 players can enjoy local and online multiplayer and Ford
the game stages there's also the hamster Village to explore and
it tastes of the game single player content as well please come try out the game and
have a great time at Pax online hi I'm going to tell me about the solar
developer behind another Waters another Waters is a narrative
exploration game that Cassie was the AI assistant who is that a
biologist has the Explorer and study an Indian Ocean play through unique interface
that off as a distinct perspectives on the world world
of glass 667cc the picture of unique and
complex ecology throwing a mess of a ray of signals descriptions
and sounds is offering a compelling mystery
as you help Ellery Bass track missing scientist Dr Medina Mora
uncover the complex history of this planet in other Walters also rewards
free exploration of scientific study scientific study potato taxonomy and trees from
Fleetwood biological sketch has to be unlocked for each creature Legend has no tentative to the
militaristic in colonial focus of most science fiction is a
game about Humanity's relationship to the ecology sits
around us are insatiable curiosity about the notch Nacho set a timer climate crisis in
ecological destruction can we imagine a different future or
are we doomed to repeat the mistakes about species past find
out who this unique and beautiful dive into another
world available now on PC Mac on Nintendo switch what do you think it's like here being a kid in the hospital how do we feel are we all the same no we are
each our own different some of us are here for an hour some of
us months we all experience different things but we all
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make things better and you helped us get just the right
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so we just want to say thank you thank you for helping us be kids
thank you for helping us play thank you for helping us heal family disruption is a 2D pixel
art action adventure game during World War II where the
mysterious old SS division is using an evil curse in a
desperate attempt to change the course of the war you explore over 60 colorful and
beautiful pixel art style location you encounter over 40
characters with the range of entertaining humorous
personalities who's going to be crude sympathetic or sarcastic
but always Bazaar Bazar it's a single player game with
dual character control you'll be able to switch between Professor
krakovitz who is confined to a wheelchair what able to commune
with the Dead at his Japanese assistant the hero4 sent
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the rural Norristown collects interesting items to
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spirits and is able to enter in the astral plane an invisible
World between life and death there he's able to communicate
with lost souls to gather further information that will
help solve the case is full of puzzle-solving
elements that involve sneaking into enemy territory in disguise
solving riddles finding Clues and missing Keys hidden inside
mystical artifacts have any more well-known Adventure game
Mechanix like western-style standoffs in gun fights everybody I'm Raphael Pokemon so
better known as Doctor be on the Clinical Director of take this
the first mental health non-profit to serve the game
community make sure to follow us on Twitter and Facebook at take
this sword will our mission is to educate people on Mental
Health topics and that's what we're here to do today we're
going to talk about burnout especially in Creative
professions know we hear the term burn out all the time but
what is it we hear about people working too hard and it leads to
burn out so they're exhausted right we'll burn out is more
than that it burnout was just about over work we could take a
vacation and fix it yes exhaustion from overwork is a
big part of burnout but the second part is a sense of
ineffectiveness you are not just overworked you don't feel like
you can do anything about it you don't feel like you can hit your
goals you don't feel like you can you know do really anything
right in your job more than that there's a sense of cynicism that
goes along with burnout you just don't care anymore you're not
you're not just a over worked and don't think you can do
anything about it you don't care about your goals you don't care
about your fans you don't care about even maybe why you started
doing what you do in the first place nothing matters anymore
these three things together combine to create a chronic
psychological condition that we know is burnout what do we do
about it some common strategies are the one yeah take breaks we
have this myth especially in Creative fields that if you're
not constantly working you're not going to make it or your you
know going to lose your position but the truth is taking breaks
actually makes your work better the research is pretty clear on
this one that taking breaks allows you to work more
effectively effectively another one especially for those of us
who are working at home creating a sense of work home separation
and there's a lot of ways to do that maybe it's only working
during certain set hours maybe it's not answering emails
outside those our maybe it's having a separate workspace I
don't know try it out get creative for you figure out what
works for you a third thing especially if you are doing what
you love for a job is having new things to do outside of work
that have nothing to do with your job for me that's cooking I
love to cook and has nothing to do with video games tabletop
games or mental health I love it creating measurable goals can be
an effective way of fighting that sense of an efficacy maybe
you pick three things to do that day and if you can hit those
three things everything else is just gravy maybe you create
weekly goals I don't know again figure out what works for you
but finally aligning your goals and your job with your values
can fight help fight that sense of cynicism if you're doing
something that you that you know you're morally not aligned with
that can be a really hard thing to do so change your content to
meet what's important to you if you enjoy this please make sure
to check out take this.

Org for more mental health information
and please enjoy the rest of packs everybody everybody hello everyone and welcome to
you don't look gay queer women in Esports I am your moderator
for the next hour talk to him also known as keeper. So we're
all here because we love gaming right time for some of us it's giving
us careers has baby City as soon as you go online you
have experienced toxicity it doesn't matter who you are like women the lgbtq population
and people of color that Texas city is much worse so and 18 survey it was found that
up to 56% of women face toxicity on their gaming and what that
means is that 54% of the time we were asked for sexual favors and
almost 10% of the time received death threats so how we make
about that 70% of the women surveyed reported they avoided
verbal communication and anyone has ever tried to play
Competitive Gaming knows that informal verbal communication is
essential so this gets much worse when you get into the
medical field okay if you look at the top 500 owners at the end
of 2018 top 500 East Fort Myers one of them is a woman top 500 some changes so before I
introduce our panelists and before I turn it over I want to see this panel is
going to contain Topix of homophobia transphobia sexism
racism other forms of Oppression finalists analyst around and
introduce yourself to give us a little bit background I am a a mechanic by trade but within
the gaming industry I am a screamer and I focus
specifically on gaming in mental health by play video games and on
weekends I have a show where we break down a self Care Mental
Health a sports broadcaster I also am a
twitch streamer who plays a variety of games I'm Nana pierogi a lot of people
call me Nana or pierogi I'm a twitch streamer I play a variety
of games I play a lot of OverWatch offline I'm about to
go pro in Fall Guys to know I'm just so good at it I'm also LGBT
I identify as queer hey assigned Kendricks I my me East worth really work with advertising
social media and all kinds of fun woman and I don't strain stream
I like write articles an interview on the moral support of 18 but I
am not a pro player I like I said before I'm a
medical doctor who treats video game shelf from the National Hockey
League and I am the President of Esports a nonprofit organization
dedicated to advocating for the lgbtq population in Competitive
Gaming dr.

Sara Haze I am a geek
psychology individual I also work as the vice president of
queer women of Esports and in my spare time I also contribute to
political content to take this and do some streaming in Friday
places so we've established that you guys are all kind of cool
and some of us have a little bit more important than others when
it comes to guys a contact on in the entry to face toxicity no matter who
you are but for certain populations it tends to be a
little bit worse in others I personally experienced Texas
Indian gaming and I love that question have you
personally experienced and all of us I take with dead eyes of
the camera like of course of course Miha have I can I can speak to that a
little bit I play a lot of video games in general a lot of
first-person shooters everything from CS go Valor in OverWatch and especially I would say I'll
bring up especially in first person shooters like this second
that you just a comment like some can you
make me a sandwich to much more things casual sexism in casual with
racism and gods forbid but like my girlfriend say something in
the background or I speak to her and then they realize that I am
like a queer person as well because all of a sudden it's
like oh no more stuff to throw onto that I started I don't like the person in
Skyrim like literally just until I find someone time you turn on your mic
because size bra do I have go make me a
sandwich or do I have a boyfriend or you go back to the day what's
your Skype constant stream of harassment
about either proving that a woman giving in to their whims
because I'm a woman or not being good enough at the game because
I'm a woman doesn't matter what I did what anyone else would say
it was just a constant thing and then it turned into well if I
want to enjoy the game baby my mental health or saving
the game and all the times were faced with this challenge of you
either play and deal with harassment most of the games that were into
sports titles a game and watch yourself to excuse my new
question because I don't I don't play a lot of mobas bra size
isn't included in your stats like people need to know this
about me lyrics I started playing siblings and I pulled her money
we got an Xbox and we got Halo DVR ddr4 like you played so much
Halo with my brother and I was 13 I did not know better also
the Twilight must have just started coming out so my
username was like vampire girl they were like x's in there so
people knew I was a girl right away so cringy but like okay but as soon as I would say
something on voice chat or even if people saw my name they would
start voice chat right I wouldn't play on my own
account I would just play as a guest on my brothers and not
using Mike and that we met 13 that was like 13 14 I started stop that I didn't
know what it meant I was pretty protected at that
point and I was just stop using voice chat and
then fast forward to playing OverWatch I haven't
used idling OverWatch for probably a year-and-a-half now
at least I haven't use voice chat up until recently it was
actually after last panel that we were talking about how
sometimes how can actually help and help other women feel more
comfortable but like what country of song is playing hold
you back from playing competitive or something I've
never play competitive OverWatch because I've been afraid to use
voice chat and for the first time I'm doing my placement I'm
pretty sure I'm going to be running like for the first time
I'm actually doing placement in OverWatch because if I have to make a call
out or something feel comfortable doing that but it
took a lot to finally get here and it's we still have a long
way to go so go yeah I kind of grew up the same way so as a kid
I always games with my brother that's how I got into gaming he
had a console and I always want to be player to no matter how
badly he did not want me to play with him and I loved it he
played a lot of first-person shooter so that's where I grew
my love for first person shooters and as I got older I
just started to play games.

Had a community that were
quote-unquote very toxic I play a lot of Grand Theft Auto I
played first person shooters I played James that I still remember the first and I finally got the guts to
turn on my mic the second I did I was bombarded completely with
just messages the actually the accounts would not stop message
me after the game saying how bad I was actually but that's a different story I
got death threats I got all these kind of things and ever
since then I refuse to use my mic that was a nice thing on
console and now I play on PC and I still don't use and I just
I've tried so hard to learn how to do it by my keyboard and call
out shots that way but I just really wish I could use it
without having that fear again I once had someone questioned
whether it was a sad as I made it out to you because they
couldn't fathom the idea that I would be bombarded with so much
negativity going for off and I handed it to them and
they put them on and it was like near-instantaneous it was just a
split-second all of the harassment started no one
stopped hanging out and they took it off and I was like yeah maybe once
in a while I'll get a nice game where someone doesn't say
something as it's like just lavatory or as bad as this but
like yeah if I use voice comes this is what I get there is no
way around it and using voice modulator why should I have to
change my voice to accommodate that's in game perpetrated by
somebody else you'd like I'm sure we'll talk
about it later but like the idea of not having competitive women
in Esports where is it start it starts here if you can't talk
about it before you can go play competitive play how are you
going to get the courage or how you can get the strength to go
through all that abuse because you're so passionate when we
know that that's what your face with you're going up that's part of
why I didn't even play I didn't play MMORPGs I ended up writing my
dissertation on individual I was friends with basically all
guys because you know I didn't want to be friends with girls
because I wasn't out and I wasn't willing to look at any of
that but you also story for another day I would I would play the games
and just be tired and tired of the verbal harassment and tired
of the like either hand holding or like oh my God I just helped Usher you to the
winners Cherokee for a long time not playing any
multiplayer games unless they were couch Co-op and it's such a poor taste in
everybody's mouth it pushes people out of the industry when
there could be a really diverse and Rich community but instead
we're all just kind of like nah nah fam thanks nah fam thanks
Israel bring up really important topics that kind of lead to my
next question so it's really cool study was going around
Twitter recently and it was a 2015 study on Halo 3 and it's
found that when women were present present skilled male
players were much more likely to make sexist comments and higher
still.

Do male players more more likely to respond favorably so
it's this concept of women poorly performing males tend to
be more threatened by women they have the societal hierarchy
and they want to keep it that way and when we was not favorable
and voice chat and voice chat player game is the basis of any
activities from very early on women are pushed out of voice
chat because of the things that we all just mentioned in that
leads to your them not playing at a higher level because you
can't use voice chat so aside from that you and all of your penis why
aren't there more women women I want answers an Esports was by Janine a
special players and I would get the occasional interview with a
coach Ashley like the conversation of
why they weren't women in Esports about the Team Dynamics they
were worried about like what having a female would do to the
other men on the team and will they be distracted and like the
same level and having to like navigate challenging but having
a woman on the team and having them distracted with lights
flashing back to high school middle school with heaven forbid
I would show my shoulder straps or my bra strap and I would have
to go change because the men or the boys can handle themselves
before we even get in the question of life you know why
aren't there women at the competitive level people are worried about what
how the men will respond to but you know how to respond to
having a woman on the team and that to me is like I don't
understand why that's a problem like if we can have women in the
workplace on a bus next to a woman or
buying a coffee there's no difference between working with
a woman in an office setting vs.

Working with weight on feelings are so heavily weighed
over maybe there's a woman who is good enough to be on this
team and giving her the opportunity
to just work with your biggest I would also like to point out
that as a woman who is attracted to women I've never women I've
never found myself like so distracted by a voice like a
woman's physique that I've been unable to function how to push a button on my TV one when we asked where women
you can navigate having a crush got the work done you still work
together and you still get the eggs near me an Esports these men's Egos and
their inability to work with women or even try to is part of
the problem or a personal opinion I don't
know Sports when you say you're competitive Esports player
you're going to get looks no matter who you are some aspects if they're like I'm
a professional Esports player they're like okay that's cute so with that women come in and they
say I want to be a part of this right away because within this
community there's so many times that I like all your woman
there's no way you are is good to compete or you can't compete
on the same level which is not true but I got Roblox there is
also crazy Eastport is compared to other jobs people can't take
it seriously so there's this other layer 2 hear women in this
industry yep yep broad-scale gaming has
this problem like being a member of the games industry in
academics for example if you say I'm fine a research study on
video games people will stop and roll their eyes I can't tell you
how many colleagues I have her like like trying to fight their
dissertation chairs which is the person who's in charge of like
helping them finish writing and push it forward through to the
university and allowed in The Graduate they're like no one
will take this seriously there's no careers in this field there's
nothing you can do it's just a pastime which by the way this week sometime in August
2020 there are now three billion people who endorse playing video
games in the United States this year so I am USA may but I can tell you based on
2019 7 out of 10 United States households have a dedicated
gaming Council on them so there's it's it's a it's a
big thing and half of the argument is having to legitimize
the field and half of the argument is having to add never
mind the whole like a Sports Authority okay not even going
there but then also there's the bit about like even last week
again August 2020 I saw it for an Esports Tournament entry send
a team regulations no more than one female identifying team
member protein team why explain that to me why in this
competition there regulating the genders of the participants per
team so hold on regulation was not important
rules I'm going to call it was but it
was a legitimate morning no governing body for Esports of
the whole let alone game tiles and sell like valve barely
stepped in when they need to write does when they're pushed
to the brink of collapse I can meet any rules they want
and I mean on a separate but related issue when we do create
things that are focused for people who identify as women can you get this backlash of why
do women get the wrong what do women have their own their own
sponsors like what is it thing the thing with why can't men
answer and then you're like because we have regulations like
that man had handle don't have enough
on her team manager that were met with this extreme
backlash it was not fair and speaking as someone who played
in an element only teams in Oregon do we do we love of course.

You
know the fact we would love to play co-ed we would love to play
in a mixed team did next tournament for the thing is is
that in order to play at that high-level you need to have a
tree to have a tree are you need to compete against
people who make you feel supported and you don't want to
leave as soon as you join because people are making racist
sexist jokes in the Discord chat you know like for me I was going
to get very much do Esports before I went to medical school
and the community guy joins two trains was terrible it was
absolutely terrible so I left to grow and divide that ability
to train together without having to worry about this stuff to touch on something that you
said because it's not just the sexism like there's also very
casual racism like within within gaming spaces I've had times
when I am playing with people that I played with like online
and all of a sudden one of them says a racial slur it's one of
those things were like all paws if you like you you realize like
I know you can't see me but you realize that I'm not white right
like you realize that's not cool and you just you just have to
walk away and I actually had one person respond to me with
something wrong why is it like that in front of you know it
means you shouldn't say that at all but like the like casual
racism goes hand-in-hand with a casual sexism like I can't tell
you how many times I've heard the word fagg fagg I would bet
that if we each had a dollar for everytime I heard that word when
playing a game we would be so in my twitch chat like 2 days
ago because I made the mistake of treating just chatting before
I played ball guys like how dare you in OverWatch text chat to Ethan even aside from that
because like outside of that being the one that looks
straight on Berry Street passing kind of of what I was saying is they
realize you don't realize it applies to you I told you like I'm at an
advantage cuz I'm like oh now I know what to ask what kind of
person you actually are because you say those things because you
don't realize you should filter yourself in front of me but at
the same time that can be exhausting and it's like you
don't I don't want to have to be exposed the apple cider people like goes back to what we were
saying earlier you know online gaming is talking to
everyone even if your sis white man you're going to be the
target of Texas City a multiple of those things all sitting here talking about
it and drawing attention to it what do we need to do what can
be done to make gaming to make Esports more inclusive for
people who aren't first the first most obvious
thing that comes to mind is like for me it's like I'm getting his
wish I'm going to let other women know that I'm here but
like for anyone who's not a woman being subject to that kind
of harassment that you even if it's a text chat say something
report them like because so many times I have gotten harassed and
chat and like what the heck do you like why you got to be like
that and it'll just be silent like no one else will say
anything and it's like if you're not if you're not standing up
for me I assume that you're okay with that I'm assuming that
you're on their side and it feels really nice leaving and
that's part of why it's wish you a whole lot better
about using voice chat like I just feel a whole lot better
about actual conversations with
friends cuz I agree like I can't tell you how many times I've had
to defend myself and getting those arguments and be like this and it's exhausting and
then I saw where are you guys like being a
bystander is equally as bad as being the perpetrator because
when you're the bystander in that situation you are also the
perfect because you're not doing anything to change it and your
stylist is accepting the behavior it's accepting the
abuse if it's that thing and saying with friends by some guy friends
where they're like oh yeah and I like all y'all like I told like
women and gaming is so toxic that you need to make it better
and I'll be like how many times have you started when you
fertile friend of yours jumped in not knowing the person
accused in a chat with people and you'll
help you hear people say it like a dude like that's not okay or
like that's not cool but then they go ahead and they just do
that the same thing or like they just did told me to ignore it
like is that what I'm supposed to do every single time someone
harasses me seems to me like not working
because that's what I've been doing up to now that's what
we've been doing but part of the problem is that because we
ignore every time we encounter it people just think it's okay
though I want to fuck it feel like there's an element of
even well-intentioned people be caught off-guard and like not
really know what to say or something and I kind of
understand a I don't have a fight or flight
response I like fries I don't know how to react to things so I
can understand that but after it happens once like you got to
know what's going to happen again you can prepare even just
like simply I don't like and it's you
have to think on your feet sometimes but it's I can
understand people don't know how to deal with that because they
experience in a lot but once you know what's happening you have
to wean yourself to deal with it as your friend if you actually
want to be with you like right over the next 20 minutes
going to come up with a lot of things fix this I were going to
come up with some multi-step process is there going to take
years but step one is B&L I don't just be an ally
don't just like #he for she like when stuff happens with people I mean for people act if it doesn't get
easier from here right what are some other ways that you guys
think we can and also maybe not saying you.

Other ways to do you young that y'all can build
diversity in this community community Straits of people that are game
developers and have power right no one's going to listen all the
times your buddies your friends sometimes yes you know we are
influenced are friends but when it's so toxic like this those
people have that toxic will go to another toxic community so
one like we said establish a good community but within game
developers and within these cultures when I report someone
for saying certain time certain actions they need to take action
every single time are words that we know an unacceptable there
are times that they need to know what's being said that we need
to report it right it right company let these companies also
I'm tired of playing a straight white dude and video games I
know everyone else is and I know communities and games are
starting to be better about that I need the KIRO to be in lgbtq
Street like gamer just for once one character that is the hero
and not the Side Story right the Pick n b and I don't want to
be like six months later by the way did you know that is
actually gay and they actually know the stuff but it's just not
in the script Dumbledore problematic in so many other
ways other things I think that might
be important is to make connections with other like
queer Gamers women of color like there's like power and numbers
and just making those connections I mean even when I'm
playing like ballerina OverWatch and I hear someone who's like a
girl like afterwards like usually if if I will start
talking in a game if there's like another girl present or
another woman present in the game she'll start talking to it
after a while we just like start talking to each other and then
half the time like more than half the time we just end up
being like friends after the game and then playing together
and that makes for a much better experience later on and it's
also guys to gang up on you when you're playing together and you
shouldn't have to but it's it's another way I'm sorry I just need to jump on
this what are the things that I recognized I was doing way like
many many years ago So excited excited when I would
hear another woman on my feet like I like it's like you get
mad so infrequently God there's not a woman that I
have someone at I would like to take a step back and I'd
recognize it like that tends excitement in that type of like
typing it up is like taking that leg NYC
Sparkle like that other woman or bringing that down to the game as well and if you
make this a magical like unicorns have experience or a
woman feeling the same support them in game but also
recognized that you need to be true or false charcoal with that knowledge you're ready
to drop on us like there's there's difficult
things and then I'm going to take you on a journey for about
a minute 30 seconds I don't know if that's a true amount of time
that I'm going to aim for that when it comes to privilege and I
say that knowing that I am am be prepared to become
uncomfortable and be prepared to do this for the Long Haul by the
way black lives matter POC lives matter not that
anybody else doesn't matter but right now we need to address the
inequality that's happening we always need to address the
inequality that's happening and part of the problem for you
mentally is that it's systematically base it's built
into the systems that we know is a society has passed down from
generation to generation the words we use the way we conduct
our business the way in which like juries are selected the
ways in which house is sold the way in which we create voting
districts there's so many layers here so I'm not saying like it's going to be be prepared to get uncomfortable
stay uncomfortable and when on something say that I used a
term that was offensive to someone else and they called me
on it so that someone calls you out for saying something
offensive Bay to be uncomfortable in that
moment and feel the instantaneous reaction inside of
you be defensive sometimes people mean to hurt
people in that that's just terrible but you don't mean it
in you use an offensive term when you're unaware of wise
saying it's black and white is a fence ever using terms like different things different
layers and if you don't know the things I just mentioned please
go Google them and change your language know that first-year defensive
internally usually because you don't mean to hurt anybody you
don't mean to be discriminatory and the way you're trying to
approach the world is with respect you or really sorry I'll work on
that behavior that word of that choice and sometimes it's easier
to be challenged by are privileged so this is going
out to all uses hot white guys challenge other people don't of
course don't just like don't seem roll everybody else don't
White Knight your way into like I will defend all of the women
in OverWatch are speaking up and you can see
the Dynamics happening say something because it's easier to
swallow from somebody somewhere because we can always write
things off with excuses and stereotypes when it's not so it
takes all of us that's what real Ally show challenging yourself
in your state blew my mind with that bastard I
never heard it before good really good so you have to work
yeah if you were if you and also if you're getting uncomfortable
that means there's probably a grain of Truth to what they're
saying so the other day I was like patching a hole in my
bathroom and I was painting and I went downstairs and my
roommate called like you just got paint all over our floor and
I was like no I didn't like I was not friends but like I did
not get paint walked all over the floor like I
wasn't defensive cuz I was like I know I'm right.

Like if you're
getting defensive if you're getting a feel uncomfortable
uncomfortable there's a grain of Truth right because we tend to
get more defensive when we know people are right right after we
put our defenses up so hard about what they're saying don't
respond with anger don't respond with whatever Tennessee's you're
going to have that the psychologist to explain a lot
better than me you don't just think about what they called things we don't necessarily
control our emotions but you can choose from to my sponge just
make them you can feel angry you can feel irritated you can be
mad at yourself did anybody else yes Kendricks things I want added like he is
that defense mechanisms I think I speak for people a concept where if I allow
somebody else a piece of this pie I don't get any and so
especially when it comes like careers or jobs or streaming or
whatever it is a lot of that defense mechanisms comes from
this person is only allowed more privileged with this person can
have this job like I can't get it done or I'm not as good if
they're better than heat and clearly I'm not going to be the
best and there's a lot of this like defense coming from you
know there's this idea that we have is one pie and if I give a
person a piece of it there's a lot of pies to go
around like one of your friends or just
because I'm a woman wants to get into Esports and you do to does
it mean if you got the job you're not going to be able to
it just means there's more pie opportunities and I think that
if we are cognizant being defensive and recognizing
that someone being better you than a game or a woman can also get that super crispy
snack and a game but she did this game and you can learn from they're doing something or they
get that job it doesn't mean that you are so cute I can't
wait you look at what rapper
competition looks like turn your face towards the baking shows
that happened internationally because they help each other
finish third day show it's improper competition It's all the finish dishes are
like because that is I'm not going to call it
cheating but it ain't clean and it ain't pretty so chew on that
too like if you are discluding people if you are excluding
people you are choosing to limit and restrain and make
special rules around who is even going to get a chance to compete
which makes you a big fish in a small pond that too that's good
sportsmanship British Baker's another is just to think about things
from a regulatory side I mean we're talking about those
regulations in Esports or how we Sports is not regulated at all
in my field if someone and mind you that science can be very
sexist but my field if someone were to come up to me and be
like lately like sexist put these kinds of blatant rules in
place usually you'd have someone either complaining calling them
out or just straight-up would happen like they're still like
it it's clear that that kind of behavior is not appropriate and
I'm not saying that science doesn't come with its own
problems because it sure does sure does do you select kind of
discrimination at least outwardly is not appropriate but
it seems like a nice Sports at least outwardly it's still
appropriate and that's something that has to change Northern Arena vacuum 2016
Montreal which is where my mother's family from I am
half-french and you were there and I did all my research and
all the teams and this it was CDC data journalist there in the
sea I went up to the tournament
organizers and was literally like who is different teams csgo players all the teams that
were there they're competing players on like literally was at
Rocket League DotA csgo and I think I will f g c and he looked at me and he is
like I'm going to listen to them and I was like to get it all together which mad
respect close all the players and yet
he's describing me because I would lie on the only female that happen to work places where
someone's been like yeah I know you an expert and you can play
this game 4 years but like I'm going to ask Buddy over there
and play csgo because I just really want I'm going experience
only female soda is all about and I feel
like that's so important because you're talking about nearly
unconscious bias of people have and I would love to hear you
feel like that's also present in sports bra bra to talk about all of that but
when it comes to sports I was scared to death on his way to
get into this field and I know probably my family was thinking
the same thing and no one thought I was going to get at
least as far as I have gotten so far just because it not seeing
it's not known of it's not it's not expected which is sad
rightly we should be any spaces we should be if you are the best
you should be with the best if you work hard you should be
right up there with everyone Sports man ever watched wants to
watch NBA and WNBA everyone watched watched because it's sucks I see it every day and fix it so what I think that bothers me
the most is smoked engine is the longest and it's what makes me happy what makes me happy and not
seeing any women and don't know specifically there was very very
few women you're all I did was I who got hired to be a pastor
or an analyst for the desk host and I was like why things book all I'm sorry but I saw the most
of the biggest percentage of women on like a directions staff
was 13% 13% of their staff was women and normally it was
one woman and that was it that's all they had and it was there
one token I likes a token because like honestly every day
except from getting anywhere and sometimes I wondered issues
helping him because it looks good for the broadcast to try to help thinking or yeah
I want to try to analyze things could be really cool in the car
and I'm sitting here going why aren't you taking the same
chances and the same opportunity to women
who are in the same position or like I want to try this I want
to do this casting it's like I'm not gay but like the sexism
and how obvious it is and then when I would point it out people just women are good enough yet
and what is that opportunity that is granted and men over
women every opportunity every opportunity there's no reason it's like a
woman who's who streams 7 days a week for 8 hours a day to there's a huge lack of
sponsorship in we don't sponsor each other
which means giving people direct opportunities so what's positive
looks like is on a macro-level if you're in a position of power
you're the CEO your in the industry Your Game Dev creating
opportunities you know it would be great great opportunity specifically
targeted at exists opportunities
specifically for these populations that are
under-represented but he'll a macro level we
figured it out but what is it kind of look like on a
micro-level at least talk to you later I mean everything from how you
choose who you're going to host or who you're going to Raid 2
even as a viewer like when it comes especially when it comes
to females streamers I'll be things like oh well you
know $60 is $60 to a game like that's one AAA game which is
hours of entertainment for me so being able to support either in
or in you know retweets and chairs or in Word of Mouth
telling people hey I really like her content let's let's watch it
or as a streamer like doing things like hosting rating or
like Coco streaming games like I think that those kinds of
connections are very important but also like you throwing your support
in any way that you can you can call challenge I love everyone
to do right if you watch Twitch if you watched however you watch
Esports men and look at how many others
right how many of those do you follow and retweet that are one
group versus the other right not telling you please continue
to follow them and support them with why haven't you followed
all those other people why is that numbers so I can tell you
it's not because there is a small percentage gaming I think I'm sorry go ahead I think when the things that
from you over the years has been really helpful is doing that net
working and doing that you know talking with other women in the
space I think one of the biggest learning curves that I was
thrown is when you work for organizations eyes at them
through other women that I know who either there or like I have worked on teams that
are 35 individuals and I'm the only female and I'm the only woman might be like financially I can
pass on an opportunity that I know is completely toxic because
I need to take care of myself first but also networking with
other women if I see an opportunity I'm sure woman I
know who or whatever type of work and that's not to say that I
won't tell my male friends but there's a sense of camaraderie
where I know that other room also do the same thing for me
because you want to see each other succeed and Crandon
varmint where there's more of us space and that comes from you
know I'm learning that the hear that a lot of women are taught
as kid with Just Another Woman is competition a child kind of like why I only
had guy friends as women are competition that helping another woman get a
gig or get a job or get a career to get The Next Step Up doesn't
lessen my impact is unless it's my career
advancement it just means that I'm helping other women get into
the spaces yeah and I think I want to touch on something the
dash and Kendricks both kind of tired none of us are saying like it's just saying be a little
more intentional like think about who you're supporting and
went when we talked about supporting other women other
queer women people of color it's not deserve our support simply by
existing it's a lot of women have faced a lot more hurdles
getting into the field so it's not like oh it's just give them
a boost because they like they probably face a lot of
setbacks in their career because of that that sometimes just
having like having a door open and that's another advantage
that I think a lot of people don't necessarily think about in
the industry I'm looking for jobs right now I'm seeing
parallel to my own field so many people are like so I got my job
cuz he missed connections I got like the connections make so
much of a difference in so many professional environment and if
there's like the Good Ol Boys Club like this network access to
to make a good ol Girls Club there's a lot of networks that
like maybe some women have pushed their way into have
finally broken into when we talked about lifting up other
women and looking up other people it's because we have
worked hard to make those connections that might want to
share that not because we necessarily think are the Gators just deserve more
like that's not weird thing I just wanted to clarify have just a couple more minutes
left so Topix they want to cover any any
final thoughts they want to get across before we eat before you
say goodbyes I mean I do would like to cover
one more thing as Isaiah person we talked a lot about women
today regardless of gender identity
irregardless is actually intuition yes there should be
able to use a solution as well let's just do
blinds competitions we don't know who any competitors what's
goes in a random number that doesn't fix it that's like
saying cover up your bra that's like saying don't wear a skirt
that shorter than your fingertips drink and then you wouldn't have
gotten no that's not an acceptable response allowing people to exist as face
with you without being stuck on what are they are they a man or
the woman a woman doesn't matter does it affect you does it
matter who any of his preferred preferred life does it matter does it
matter in your personal experience of Esports does it
matter in your experience of streams does it matter will
bring it up if it matters will tell you but unless it does
it's none of your business not to like rude I am I a man out there be services and I and
I own that I am a lesbian is or if I had a dollar for
every time someone told me I just hadn't had the right I'd be
very wealthy is well oh my God so actually something that's
very important that you liked you on that work
I still find it difficult to say I was taught as a child that
like just the word lesbian was like almost a dirty word and so
I still have problem saying that it's what I identify ask but
calling myself a lesbian sometimes who sang the word lesbian
closings it like we have all of this like internalized almost
like self-hatred and sometimes that can make it hard like if
you are in a game and you do here some shut-eye can make it
hard to like even want to stand up for yourself because you were
taught that like this part of you is bad that's part of you is
less than this part of you is not worth experiencing not worth
allowing yourself to experience to live to be proud of and like
when when we're talking about this I think an important part
of it is just being willing willing I'm being willing to own
not just your identity but to fight others for it fight for
your space that's important we have to destigmatize bad and how weird would it be to
like sit down and be like okay in this competition today Joe
Schmo straight guy is going to compete can we have it so that every
single time like you know some some like famous in sports
player gets introduced they also have to say like he's straight
17 and still a virgin the big bean masculine killing yourself educate
yourself by watching panels like this we can tell you we are
tired right we love doing these kind of things and providing
these Ranch stop making me The voice.

Making me educate you for
something that is so teasing a Google found out that I'm lesbian this
is not me to ask me whatever you want to ask me the mean you get to ask me about
my sexual history doesn't mean you get to ask me if I have a
girlfriend it doesn't mean you get to ask me if I'll be a third
I think what are the things to is understanding that day and then you'll figure
everything out and then though I won't be by anymore more also recognize gender is
fluid sexuality 5 years ago and then you guys
just meet again they're like actually I buy now that doesn't
give you like there is no conversation we had about how
they got there but that doesn't mean that I
want to be called out its we switch to that or if I have to
the confidence to use it pants be respectful be
supportive and allies but it's not your place to question and
it's not your place to send we ask because not we're not
listening conversation this isn't me saying yes now the
floors open ask you my sexual history try to remember that
we're individuals and we have autonomy but we also need
perspective then I will give you the chance
to say when parting thought cuz we are almost at a time there's
so much pressure is still messed up saying like with being queer a lot of us I didn't come out
until like a couple years ago a lot of figuring it out so like
if you're asking these really like personal question we're tired of answering them
sometimes we don't know the answer like we're tired I mean
it's 20/20 we're all tired up something to you I mean this
applies to so many scenarios just listen just listen without
the intent to like respond just listen to understand like that's
that's what it comes to do very well said she don't have to know
anybody's gender or sexual orientation in order to compete
with them and it does not care to Berkeley make them more or
less competition to you if you do know those things or jobs is we're not going to tell
anyone about that you all this is been really
wonderful I just want to say thank you first of all he's
right now you don't if this panel made you uncomfortable
congratulations to making it 55 minutes in take those feelings
and think about them the mods she will probably have
done a lot of work during this panel Banning and timing out and
using their powers for good and not for evil and lastly thank
you to the five of you for spending your time educating
others despite being so so very tired like we all are this is
been very eye-opening so thank you all very much and I'm sure
you will all be in twitch chat right now too so you know so if
you want someone to follow who isn't racist white men are some
of these people are on Twitch so it that opportunity hit that
follow button did you know you can link your Amazon Prime to
Twitch Prime account but anyways thank you all so
much for stopping by how do you spell group Hi-Five is dreamscaper and action Rogue
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Ken. And register here
from Excel at science in Brisbane Australia complex on in Fond ways and at
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firsthand talkin to the general community that does a lot of
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is surprising because cancer is
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can General houska from the Queensland
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behavior and reduce the risk of cancer darkmagic is The Wizard of
Acquisitions Incorporated he is first and foremost I would say a
stage magician he's a performer so the spells that he has 10 not to be very useful not
great for the rest of the party just because I can't help a lot
I don't do a lot of damage but I can make people invisible
I can make sure hours of Sparks there's a lot of exciting to
scare your players respectfully coming to you pre-recording for
packs online discussing techniques of Terror
as well as presenting method to safely scare I'll give you one
of your posts are panelists for this panel Mike Mike truck I do
a podcast called Darkest Days radio been doing that for over
10 years very exciting and we talked a lot about horror
tabletop RPGs and also joining me is Pete is going Pete are you
guys going numb everybody I'm paid Amazon I am and
australian-based gaming gamer and enthusiasts for a very long time now and I
run a lot games when and if real life conventions happening
around awesome and also joining us is Crystal hello I'm Crystal
I am a writer and educator and I've been with darker days radio
for coming up on a year now I'm excited to be here and you
also wrote some like Bach quotes about mechanics recently so you're
definitely a well-versed in all this so young for San Leon a
professor for doctors radio and the spin-off show which is more
about the Warhammer RPGs so I am I talk to you writer and
podcaster handles so scientific writer and scientific research
and software engineer absolutely so let's go on first
two of a kind of broad statement about just how to scare your
players talking about her and also particular mechanics that
we might enjoy so I'll just keep things off right here when it
comes to scare my players in a table top horror RPG I really
like to explore moral quandaries so the players might be
horrified by Blink choices that that NPCs make or terrified by
decisions that they themselves need to make for example I ran
into a D&D game recently where the player characters for trying
to save a little girl who had been manipulated into trying to
summon the ghost for father and you're really destroyed them to
start thinking about what they might do to try to bring back a
loved one that's really the kind of a kind of horror that I enjoy
what you guys I prefer with your kind of
horror tabletop gaming stories in Exploration PTI me ideas play a lot of world of darkness
and a half wide a lot of vampire work quite well for werewolf as
well hunted becoming the Hunted involved in our guest it to Danville light like you're
going to come with me and you know The Mortals eyes glaze out
of them and they'll come with you what I saw the like doing a lot
is so give him a pliers a little bit of that because you know yet
you'll have a you'll have your Immortal who tends to there will
be a I can go back and show off physically very well you're very
much for the in the back of yep I'm a vampire that on them and yes you are a
vampire yes you are a hunter butt there is something scarier
out there or the Mormon peoples are real or Mortals who know
exactly what you want to know how to exploit your floors so if
you can dance on a fruit bat on them in the next thing I found
in my experience the bat can really kind of amp up feeling a
hore on the feeling of Terror sort of like when you know you
should go on his giving you a hard time
and you can be like you know you can easily dominate him right
with someone from the second Inquisition who knows exactly
what you are and has a false can or you can have us a yo yo
yo pushing around something to unite or something the next time
that Wiz the sheriff and see how well that works of our found it.
That's that's work very well for me when I was when I been trying
to and and paw prints camoplast boil which is a scenario that.
kind of exact sort of sort of us set up
at same structure where it starts at the Players think that
they are just hunting another vampire's going rogue or
something but it turns out they eventually learned that there's
actually kind of like a multi-layered onion of people
hunting each other through that tiny venture do love about that scenario
either way it's what happens bit stripped down so you have that has become The
Hunted * over the course of one running
is that guy awesome awesome and a crystal how do you like to
scare your players I have done it accidentally
before where I am I am II views that I'm not going to
go into the whole story but I've used my mistakes before we're
I've set up players to two to do something that is awful and then
caught it later in context of the world
especially with DND India at the sexually really easy to do with
the monster manual and Mix-Ups within the month but one of my favorite things to
run is I like to do similar to like Cloverfield
suspense where you don't see you only see parts of what's
happening with the monster you don't actually see the full
Monster or anything like that and it's really hard to put
together the pieces until right up until the end where it's at
that reveal happens and then you're like oh oh oh that's
terrifying Chris how about you so I think more countries always
a good one I think this was a discussion has recently on a
different planet of traditional media for
horrible Casino and ninja star, Raab arbitrary
months to just popped out of nowhere self like a dungeon dungeon
you've done some horrific months service round the next corner it depend on the Bayou have a
lot of control of this game environment that you live in the
other room and you set the the Tyrone the lighting sound
are you really draw people with that sorry for me or is often
more about the players bring to the game Rob them what you can show so
it's very Hitchcock stop where you don't see the knife you
don't see the knife in the film but everyone thinks they store
it so you better also suggesting cuz place will always have a far
more horrific image in that mind.

Of what actually carry on
so what's discuss the load about storytelling techniques to kind
of adds suspense and add Terror to your games and Chris was just
bringing up not to use jump-scares new game and I was
kind of thinking recently a Pax East I did try to do a jump
scare I don't know if he's actually effective but it's running Call of Cthulhu Mythos Mommy if you will was
leaving a tattoo breaking out of it and I just slammed down in
the table multiple times and it definitely got people's
attention of the table I don't know if he's really a good thing
but some what's let's discuss had to cut it build that to
spend so I can get those kind of fearful releases in your game so
Pete how how do you like to add to Spence to your games and kind
of build that up buildup that tension well I'm in this is this
is where you find it and this is this is difficult to
do with a convention but if you're if you're if you're doing
around so if you're on time your best friend cuz I'm in the
middle of Italy like couple of axes trailers that
I've done we're in a space the size of an aircraft Hangar it's
you and study thousands of your closest friends are all their
the expo hall is banging away so I kind of feel like if you want
to try to get suspenseful and scare people it's not going to
happen in that environment controlled environment
completely if you can kind of you know you have control the
lights app-controlled sound that you can get the house to
yourself get anybody who's not involved in the game so she can spare him in a
little bit with Lighting and Sound like in particular in this
sort of golden age of everything's being Bluetooth
controlled and can be controlled by your phone or by whatever you
be really really surprised what you can get away with weave
let's just say you know I really basic soda to the Bluetooth
controlled LED lighting around around the table and you can you can you find it
seems there's apps for this we had she had a barely audible
heartbeat playing buy a speakers and you can actually see if you
said that you if you so to turn it down or you can speed it up
and slow it down and really surprised how well that works in
San Jose can actually say people so to
starting to get a little B on Ellen full with a little bit and
then you know that they can ease off a little bit more as useful
as usual to turn the speed up and down on that would really
suggest people to experiment with controlling the environment
yeah yeah absolutely in contact with that Pete a little bit I think as it
is a storyteller you really do influence the suspense in the
tension quite a bit I was watching this anime called Neon
Genesis Evangelion briefing this one but whatever there's building tension
throughout the show by the early episodes are there was a lot of
like laughing and Goofy kind of anime stuff however as you get
towards the end people just laugh less and less and less and
there is there's a real build up tension and then there's one
thing that happens and then for the rest of the show there is
nothing fun about it is just just pure grading us in as a storyteller you can
control that quite a bit because you know people laugh a lot when
we're playing RPGs especially horror RPGs he has a great way
to relieve tension that's perfectly okay you should
definitely have a good time we are playing a playing a horror
RPG however is a storyteller you can control things by just not
laughing you know if you start to get into really serious
scenes where something very traumatic is about to occur stop
laughing even if your players are still kind of a few know
saying jokes doing whatever if you don't laugh if you just got
to remain calm stable Stern go pick and they'll realize that
things are really getting serious at this point I was just
a great way just build a suspense and tension Chris what
do you think so yeah playing convention games
very different you obviously because of the type of
environment urine with you say the r v v device outside like UK game you to play
games at so many people around you and you have people just coming
up to try you've made it quite explicit
this is for ages 18 + but you'll still in the commuter room with
many other groups playing games and you don't know what that means you have to much
you liked your tone you may want to be and you'll say what you
say like you can't just have profanity switch in the context
of the game May well work with the play is an agreed to certain
things the type of content a description that you buy from a
well work but in a convention year you have to draw that back
in that means get creative with
your with your use of language you know you should have a
popsicle Monsters the creatures for ulcer the environments the
scenes if you so good to begin with me write a few a list of 5
or 10 words smells sounds that some of that environments to
really help us set pictures of the tournament of seeing people
that creature think about the sound effects
like that at Run play off the I did that today but you can maybe get Chrome
what it feels like can maybe even, say hi to tell
if you really want to get ways that might well working hard
quite well when you're dealing with things involved involve
mental manipulation and breakdown of how do you sense
reality within your own home was in your
own gaming space I use soundtracks so I put together
soundtrack Full my games that play in the background using
music which has no vocals in that will vocals I don't
generally the native language of everyone's playing in so it
doesn't intrude that will be on random it does mean sometimes
you get practice and you just need to skip that track a
classic is all I've got soundtrack for Warhammer 40,000
frosted glory and that's a truck which is perfect if they're like
a bar and it's the tortuga music from Pirates of Caribbean
Resorts what all you do do things that help create an environment suit and a table
and Inn always good for some players and you should be
considering all the times I don't hardly ever used table for
my games everyone sound sofas and chairs in space with a TV
with a slideshow Jerry Monette of images from in the Sky Sports
images of the Warhammer 40K Universe with my music Sheetz.

Said she would like you
to set the time Awesome awesome in Crystal how do you build suspense in your games I
like to create a sense of urgency but there is artificial
or purposeful and so as I'm getting closer and closer to the
end or the the the big reveal playing as far as
like controlling the banter around the table and stuff like
that I will make sure that I'm asking very pointed questions of
my character or of the players the characters as far as what
they're doing if there's NPCs involve the MPC is or either
continually getting agitated or trying to push along that sense
of urgency to have more of a frantic seal and
obviously this is stuff that I do very very very lightly with
convention games and then I I do a lot more heavy with my my regular players
so but yeah I love to to create that because it does give a
sense of suspense and like artificial dread of oh my gosh
what's coming like she's asking a lot of questions what's going
on yeah that's interesting Crystal
why do you go kind of easy on that increasing tension with
convention games I can find that feeling of urgency is a great
way it just kind of get to the action fast that I usually
pre-convention games I usually when I run scenarios I do keep
some hair down so that there isn't so much of a build up for
it cuz I don't run Super Why on convention games and I don't
know those players extremely well so I want to make sure I'm
great punches because some people don't do well with that
frantic of feeling or that fight or flight response and I don't
want to accidentally make someone extremely uncomfortable later discussion about safety
mechanics in the like and it's pretty funny scenario
and it's also useful for him games as well as your you don't
have as much time for setting up getting the cards to make
choices to get them into the action served I typically start
in media res so your problem know how are you getting to this
location when stuff happens there already.

Died and the
fight has already broken that Madness is already on going
and it's more about how she begins to solve a situation how
did you get that how did you get that is often the last thing you
need to think about point so real quick just kind of
wrap up this section do you want to talk very briefly about some
of the kind of hot new mechanic 7 coming out so I know Pete that
a lien has been that you're a really popular RPG lately for
horror tabletop gaming and keep a little bit yeah absolutely I'm
so distressed ice in Italian and I work a little bit similar to
the hundred dice in Vampire quieter chance to run I lie in
bed things progress in Italian keep
ratcheting up stressed eyes and initially stressed out a success if you get a six
that's a success success are the most stress you all you
got to get additional dice so initially you like rolling
Wilderness more chance but ones on the stress start a bad mole
ones were honest and you know it you wish her a cop stress the
more likely you are to find yourself in a situation where
you give you free cat you pull a Hudson oh you pull a Coleman and
you just near catatonic to become a some really they'll soda sit there and
ignore me really really well they'll be like if it's
something bad happens if I have a consequence from being really
hungry or Consequences from being stressed you going to drop
the bomb on me on Tuesday in a semi just terrible is going to
happen to be constantly working to eat around 8 convention games and I
haven't quite had a chance to get a to get a hug and can't
find anything but even then by did everything in
their power to try to drop it back down interesting Maybe that's the way
all these guys have no idea and I need to find something to
drink a terrible person or something you write out for you I'm
friendly out but in particular on I-4 alien I mean like play that one and you can people
will want to be able to try to slow down the action and to try
to bleed off some of that stress and I didn't give you the
provisions for doing that you can stop and smoke a cigarette
you can stop and drink a beer bottle thing you know we have to
be a consequence for that Works once the films were once 11 Austin has a slow burn and
then once things are moving very very very quickly and I need to slow down
and take a moment be a consequence for that if I want to take things down
two notches I like it yeah I think I'd say
that's a good point about it's kind of how the the tension
builds up with the mechanics cuz you need to look back at
probably the first popular horror RPG Call of Cthulhu that
has the kind of sending Sandy track which there's obviously a
lot of Life issues with how Sandy works and how how to
represent things but from a purely mechanical sense as your character loses those
Sandy Point send it gets closer to becoming unplayable more interesting character and
something I really like to bring up when I'm going to be running
a horror game so I can when I'm just kind of interesting
mechanics and everything is I bring up that losing should be
fun that's kind of why we're all here and it's just a better
story if you can kind of go in there and be prepared to have
some rough things happen to your character Crystal there any other
mechanics that you would like to highlights from a recent or old
horror games Red Witch uses a Jenga Tower and
instead of rolling dice as you do actions you pull from the
Jenga tower Tower and when the Jenga Tower Falls you characters so it is artificially built in
stress and there's a visual aspect to
it because everyone almost everyone has play Jenga and can
kind of understand how that feels when you're pulling
something and you're like oh gosh will my turn to die just
from Bo try to do this simple thing and yeah I I love the the use of
the Jenga Tower far as a visual mechanic I've even hold it into
my D&D game One X we we were doing a long
drawn-out chase scene and instead of
continually rolling dice and it was through like an m c Escher
Labyrinth ask thing so as the Jenga Tower fell the
characters fell off the maze okay.

Had to solve that problem gotcha nice nice that you might want to highlight
real quick so most recently in age of
Sigmar Soul which is a fancy Warhammer
setting funky for 7 have doom doom mechanically doesn't
do anything with in the game I mean it could do and what is a
measure of of the progress of the tone of the settings of Oz the theme increases as he get
bad results from your device and things do you mean creases and
what team does is it in forming the GM to the color the setting
so you know things seem shattered screen darker in a cultist you begin to see a
gathering in corners of Assisi why you didn't see them before
they more brazen the skies above it actually that fire Royals across in the clouds
begin testify demons in it so maybe maybe in the realm of shy
shy know the moon of a ghostly version to be mostly from the
well it was trying high leaving down painting a stinky gringo to that starts to informing the
gym to push the tyranny of the game with in women dressed in glory.
We have a ruin which is essentially a pool with poison
similar to Ross Rock Municipal points which
place can use to be rolled ice and do stuff it again points
that you can trigger abilities from antagonists and cause complications to be worse
and as you see that pool rack up in size to play at the like
something bad's going to happen because when we come up to the
big five he's going to have a whole chunk of points to trigger
you know I stream of corruption from the great unclean one
something else though I will tell you one of my
really favorite ones as always the deal with the Devil in in Metropolis you're about to die
you run out of points to spend to buy re-roll you
could always make a deal with the devil and that basically
saying you get to do some rerolls will you get so we can
all desk but you are descending in corruption and I I approached
increases your car to a game insert let's just pull an
internal or external mutation by spawn the corruption of a soul
so we can get bills on the idea.

As your soul is formed it
becomes most Twisted and tortured it manifests even have
asked or have you look kind of similar
to have corruption is in Warhammer fantasy so I know it's
like that Best Buy Rosa a fun yeah that's awesome how did you
meet sounds really interesting because instead of attaching be
kind of degradation of the other horror element to a specific
character it hatches it to the setting I think that's really
interesting I've not heard navigate me to a math although it might have
been done in the past at some point so let's move on over to
the the second kind of real meat of this this presentation which
is how to scare your players respectfully because we were talking about
the mechanics movie like to do in horror games we're also kind
of be a little careful you know when you're about to
play a horror game horror RPG you're okay of tacitly agreeing
to get spooked but as you're doing this you're playing with
your friends and you don't want to get offended you want to be
hurt and you specially don't want them to be damaged from
this experience so that's what we really want to talk about
here I guess Chris has a broad idea how do you
scare players respectfully it the tallest appointments you the
best kind of scares away you talking to people's fears and
somebody's face these fits are I think you brought across population or
from where they are or is it your country so you don't have
to take me calling out one person in particular that some
face of potato chips a particular generation of people
or people that have children maybe that's why changing a lot
of things quite scary losing a family losing your child.

Loss
of of Innocence but then you really do need to know your
place because while you won't tell a compelling story you may
want to see wanted to be filled time to be real like it's based
in all weld butt darker you want to know what place think are
acceptable Horus pause while in a wild boar Wild other colors baby very
personalized special bond he's real things they are not always
acceptable at the table so you really need to know your place
and that mean you really need to have a good discussion
beforehand that the setting that the session 0 to find out what
it is because it is interesting because actually they do want to explore
these things because it allows them for some sort of catharsis
Maybe so you shouldn't just I actually may well as a group we don't mind that the important
thing is once you establish that is you should check in every so
often and and these people might hear yes.

Might turn into a know
I know might turn into a yes and you should just be mindful
of that so well you do want to add a GM Run
the game you want to run you play as want to play a game that
they want to play in and that has to meet in the middle
somewhere Middle is a bit messy and changes and evolves over
time yeah definitely definitely said I mean that's that's kind
of the the number one thing is to know your players however as
Christmas when pointing out their situations where you might
not know your players so kind of on the flip side Crystal how do you in convention games
or things like that how do you kind of tackle this this issue
issue so for me personally I used to EX card which I think
we're going to talk about a little bit later but that the EX
card itself for will apply for any game you can use it at any
setting at any table and it is a really easy comes up for players
to understand another thing is kind of having a little prep for
sessions it like a session zero prep where you talk about some
of maybe like the content warnings of the game or the
scenario that you were running can get a feel for ya'll what
the players are expecting and like for instance with pugmire you play dogs and cats madinda
setting and some people can't tolerate violence to animals so
you do have to but they want to play the game because is the
setting is very very easy to adopt for that so knowing that
ahead of time is very important essential part of the game so
making sure that if if you know someone doesn't like violence to
animals it is then that said I need Taylor what you are telling
them to make sure that you, date for that that interesting so
what's what's going to talk about a little bit Crystal so if
you were to have a Pokemon game or if you have had one where
someone does not want to have any violence animals how do you
tailor it weighs about descriptions or do you just
change the entire kind of conceit so usually what I end up doing
is either I give the ability to
describe what happens to the characters to the players and
let them have some narrative control over that or if there is
some sort of violence it doesn't end in death it ends in being
knocked out or running away to Comedy for that nice I like it and how do you feel about to be the
issue of knowing your players give me insight into this invention standpoint Hannah TX caught up I pretty
much want to a convention game without it now and what a family
event is something to look for a matching game with her for a
very short time I don't know I don't know anyone at the table
so I'll just saw this flat outside girl this is going to get doing
this doing this doing this but so what got a rolly on in a red and
green and I said so so Redbox this stuff is not happening in
this game and I'm telling you right now it's not happening and
if you try to happen if you eat if you go there I'll stop the
game inside my what you doing and sexual violence or anything of
that nature game inside piece R&R contact exist existing we
don't dwell on it you know when a person always protects their yes yes you do and grain is anything anything
in the news with whatever General GameStop bucket is there anything you
want in the end of Bucket please tell me now and I'll tile of the
game on the slightest loaded.

I haven't really had anything United States if you if you can't tell you no
sexual violence violence against children simple definitely but he also
time in a broader sense no stepping away from the
convention center with your your long-term gaming friends kind of
business is Chris was alluding to I think we all agree that
it's very good to have this kind of discussion 2 months to make
sure that there was absolutely page this discussion about the
sections each other for 20 years clients brought up you said I
really don't like so does the concepts of being tortured will
be in a bit being locked up and being you know either mentally
or physically I really like that and I was a little bit I was
like my husband is a pie who played
with on-and-off I get time for 20 years and I didn't know that
and you think you know you play is I
would argue maybe you done and maybe even putting them in the
situation we go right tell me what you don't like you right
you'll find yourself learning some things that you probably
didn't and you allowed Gees never assume that you know you
play is and as a benefit people you've known your whole life discussion is a wise where they
even if it.

5 minutes and you got ya. whatever but just you know any
kids and you got it yep traffic light system cuz
sometimes I think you're this this thing like some people feel
like like not swear you don't have to try an entry to Moncton
gameplay options is used is a used PDA used wheels on the us for a late is the Otay system
so you can you can quit please indicate I'm cool with this keep
doing hard today to play Warhammer talk to the hell out
of me I'm okay but actually means I'm
not and you should doll things back a bit and then obviously
know he's like no this is not for me and then I think Pete will you
sing with me lines he's actually kind of what is
that is that where is it down of SpongeBob more about this is a hard line I
don't want it in my game where is there is more about you can
suggest but it's like it doesn't appear on screen black many people like you or you just
you know what it is in this case watch the Hitchcock thing we
know you don't need to go spend 10 5 10 minutes in excruciating
detail about how you told you in the sky it's too mind it being him and suggested that we just
don't want to spend time on it and I said that somebody else yeah yeah definitely so people
who need to lie for mechanics and mechanisms and for real big
God separation between the two is the kind of pregame
discussions which we just kind of getting into with on your
players as Chris was alluding to the kind of a mechanic so you can use during
your game so quick want to reiterate some of those pregame mechanisms for discussion so you
can have to let go hand-in-hand very well
are the pregame surveys and also the the session 0 so session 0
is just usually your characters you're doing character creation
you can have a discussion with all the players and just kind of
cover as Pete was mentioning these are things we don't want
to cover these are the moments that maybe wanted want to really
explore any of these are the things that we we yeah I it may be coming up in
the news quite a bit lately that we think that this game may be
just like a modern horror game will be a great kind of story elements to
explore and you can go along with that but someone else I
also wanted to highlight is some of these pregame surveys that
Ben coming out so Pathfinder had a pregame consent form are they
came out to think like 2 years ago and that uses kind of the red
light yellow light green light system so that you can you can
cover what people are okay with
in-game what they don't we Dora the Explorer Edition to that are
friends over at your head of gaming have their own horror
game specific consent form which I think is pretty much all of us
have had filled out and I found this to be extremely useful
during a convention games I've been using this with Gahanna
gaming and it's a really good way usually
what I do with the consent form and then once they finish it
then okay you can pick your character at that point and as a pick-me-up characters
look at those I can review and see all right this is what we we
can cover these are things that we can't cover are there any
issues with a scenario I'm about to run which has come up
actually as a little anecdotes another adventure that Chris
Rhoades has the potential for people to people to kill a ghost
dog at the very end and I had several people say they don't
want to see you violent animals so I had to go do I get to do here and that's
actually the angle that they were going for in the adventure
they're really focused on that black dog that they were
encountering that's what I had to do is
essentially be very when someone lunch the dog as a base be
almost Fade to Black you had to give a very limited description
of what happened but essentially came out that of course they the
end of the the dark ritual that was going on this is the
Monstrous dog isn't it for a a specter or right this
minute but yeah I understand yeah those consent forms I find
to be extremely useful I know Crystal and Chris you've both
fill those out for a Gahanna gaming sponsored thing that
we've we've been doing that how you feel about them I absolutely
love them and I highly recommend if you if you
haven't filled one out they do have it up on their website so
you can take a look at it and it is very quick to to take a look
at it and it helps you kind of build up the room in which you
want to tell your story in there consent form which I've
not seen on any other is that they cover mind control which is
that loss of player agency and also just manipulation really
does bother people and for some reason seems to be a core like
Supernatural power mechanic and so many horror RPG that's good to bring out pins
something to watch out for in your horror games as well yeah definitely I think people
initially when these surveys first came out that was a lot of
pushback it was like know or if we let you know if it's a vampire
if there are certain elements entitled to it being a vampire
the Masquerade game or I werewolf game or maybe.

For that
will be War that will be Blood drinking so this is an element
of the players should expect like this game will be this I
will have this that immediately I'm in or I'm out the rest of
this is about cheating that dialed how people interact with
the game and so it shouldn't feel like it should be vampires
many things there is a Baseline a you must be this tall to tell
if play I mean that in the sense of a lot of degree of variability
in what makes vampire what makes food makes Call of Cthulhu and
that is what these sheets are more about is really cheating.

And I don't see as prompt is
ultimately you want to run again people want to play a game if
you don't meet in the middle you're not going to run again
game of these things is collaborative director he weighs put through these things
happening Cinema there are people in Senoia Road Island how
would a person's wonderful a psychopath screen is because the
director was basically traumatizing don't you don't want to do that
because you want to also build to meet you at least people's
come back and play the game that you were playing so you gave me
were playing has more products made for it and has a wonderful
long life and you can find me a pipe yet terrifying them in from toys
in them you really on likewise you was a
GM on not a vampire so if you could have player being
grotesque Express insightful just because
you're desperate for pies does that mean you accept that there
are many people game is at feel like they can be accepted that
will they do is accept it because what are the play I like
who I'm a game and you want a game or just like nope I don't
want you here if you're going to be like that I don't want my
other place I mean to put up with you so it goes both ways as
well yeah it's it's awesome so this
whole thing where I liked by the people who are anti anti a and anti-b know what will what do you do
when someone comes up to a table and I feel like one of these
forms and and they said you can't have anything they're just
going through all of the topics and said no to everything in
this hypothetical scenario which will never happen you turn around in his presence
I am very sorry I can't run a game like that maybe this
version of vampire I'm running today why isn't for you gunshot residue convention can
mention there's no reason why you can't fight and it's not
reason why if you're setting up to so I had to run a campaign
one of pliers turns around and says to you I want to run my
butt without any of the vampyrism without any of them
the elements that I want I want you to run the band pins for me
and I didn't know a guy who was like that that game in and you've been
negotiated definitely so we're kind of
starting to run low on time.

I really want to cover some of the
end game mechanics that exist several people brought up the EX
card and essentially what that is is it is a car they put the
table has a giant x on it and anyone can tap it or grab it or
Bixby say during a scene this is a no-go Zone and you can stop
you can just be Paws talk to everyone and you can figure out
what the issue was figure out if you need to do a rewind basement
restart the scene or if you can just kind of Fade to Black and
then just keep the game moving from there it's it's elegant it's easy it
really doesn't disturb the flow of the game usually seems although I've actually fun facts
I have never had anyone use the X card on me but I have not used
the EX card on anyone but I almost did once I was I was like
ready to Lunge for it and luckily the the story tell her
how we're playing like Cydia mist mist and it was like in the
game store in the basement and the Storyteller I kind of
realize like there was an issue because I think several other
players at the table Raleigh wheel wheel like where
this is going and he kind of elegantly just said like like to
move on from here and that kind of prevent the issue issue but
it's it's a mechanic and I find what I'm good at convention game
some explain the rules of the game I think it's really
convenient to just slip the next car mechanic and just as though
it is a rule of that game I really should be at this point
for most horror games so it should just be a nation and having people just accepted
as one of the core mechanics of that game that you're playing or
at least the game they are playing at the table at that
time is a great way to just just headed there everyone except it
and if you need it if you don't need it awesome awesome so I
think my question could be if anyone has any anecdotes of if
you're comfortable with it I'll give him the EX card or anything
like that I'm like 5 run it.

I've used it I've never needed but I've had lace five different people come
up to me off to the games you know after the game and said
thank you so much for having the xcaret I felt so much better
knowing that it was there I was genuinely worried about some of
the content and I love you certain things would happen to
me while I was playing this game which makes me worry God what's
happened previously happy with the X. It's no big
deal you explain it to people as you said you know during the
Preamble Justice a big deal Smith I want to play you had any memorable
experiences that you would be willing to share you don't have
to with an EX card did anybody touch it like I've
never had it actually used but like I said I run very short cuz
I'm to generate demoing at a booth and instead of like actual
like running a game like a scheduled game so my my
scenarios to be like an hour maybe an hour and a half at the
most so yeah like I've never had anybody but I have had people
who are like oh no I don't play with that and like okay you can
leave you if you consent to leaving my game cool also has with the ex parte card
what kind of covered Fade to Black but you was the
Storyteller can always just say let's just which is kind of he's
out of the scene just move on to something else starting you seen
with different content that's definitely really used to do the live-action role-playing
Community is also had some really big Innovations as
Chris's mentioning the can a pause negotiate on the check-ins
are huge especially for live action role play because for a long time was really
anathema in that Community to ever break immersion you can't
do that Just keep going keep going the entire time and he's like people could like
take a break step out that's where the thing however they
really wanted to sure that there was like a way
for people in the middle of a scene to have a way to kind of
guide how it was going and usually the way that they happen
since you can just say like off game in the context of a lark
Lark off game how you doing this is okay can we go this way and
you just have a little conversation you know we just
need to be a couple sentences and everyone's good to go and
keep moving there's also non-verbal ways to
do that as Chris's living two do check-ins with a thumbs-up or at
the okay sign if people are not okay then comes down and snow
leopards me just leave the scene walk out of the place in the
like which is really great way in the middle of a kind of
intense tabletop role-playing scene to just check in with
people use give me thumbs up make sure they're okay but they
also give you a thumbs up can just keep moving how do I feel
like in the context of tabletop RPG is it's a lot easier just
kind of pause things pause things have that discussion do
any of you have any extra insight into this word you know
know check-ins in the middle of the game really I mean the most important
thing is just the other thing is if you playing tabletop RPGs
when you're running a regular session of the game and or if
you're running a convention game that's like about maybe 3
hours you're not speaking to me breaks
of that and that's always a good point you everyone's going to
need to get a to the weather in private rank to check in and just yet the
previous scene Justice reading the room about it's not within
game it's not to break in the game I mean that's what I would
definitely do then then ask a few games with
very short quotes checking in with the players is
also if you're running running them as a booth reason you're
checking in is all six major me is being really important for
a reassessment that my wife run she minutes it's even more especially when
you're trying to cram the best partner 3 hours to 1 hour
Myspace which oil has some great stuff that works for them.

With a with a brake light socket
is a good point where you could potentially wreck, seeing if you
feel about seeing didn't go as he wanted or maybe I mean the
Stone Age the game anyway if you got to tell them a piece of
information that was really in jail for the rest of the game we have to run all the game so by all means
rep, and I'm sure they do some stuff on the oldest recorded
stream games that you say you because you know they wanted to
deliver the best looking game possible for you and they only
have a certain amount of time to film and cut and edit and do all
the other stuff I have to do right here so we got a wrap it
up real quick but I think I made your point that we all want to
make is that you know in the context of horror games you might mess up and that's a
okay that's alright I was like some juncture hoping to include a story of
mine from way back in the day that we could all sit down and
analyze but we're not time for that but does you see what happened
to you I don't know just insightful inspiring points to
kind of close this out on with regard to the horror games message not recovering or just
breathing in their attention in the game
you are working incredibly hard to essentially umastart bubble need something very very
beautiful to be broken like that so just don't beat yourself up
too much if it doesn't happen or if it doesn't quite happen the
way it will mean even you know awesome cool so I think just to
kind of wrap things up here we can all just kind of let people
know where they can find us I have basically no social media
but I do this podcast are Keynesian are we can find a
darker – days.

Org I can to meet us at Darkest Days radio and
we're doing right now a pretty sweet wrath and Glory game
Warhammer 40,000 setting over and I get henna Gaming's twitch
Channel which Chris is the Storyteller for and you can check out our
contact there if you wanted to see Moore or hear more of the
kinds of scussion we do a lot of Storytelling advice player
advice and a like Pete to where can people find
you can find me on Twitter where I am at page on NAS I can find
me on Instagram where I'm posting all sorts of hilarious
things and in the real world when you
no longer walk down I am at most Melbourne by scamming
conventions probably running vampire and alien awesome and
Crystal where can people find you or even check out your work so you can check out my work at
the geeky panda.com and other links to all my social media on
there awesome and Chris how about you so yeah obviously
there is ww.w.

you will find all Social Links
from Back to the story telephone content which all of us but feet
so far has written down but we will get peons I am showing
future and that is okra content that covers stuff like secret
frequency Falls which is like folklore myths Legends Pointe
you gain all that original sin RS4 cross the darkness on
setting materials acting like terrorists awesome very good and
to all the viewers out there please enjoy your packs online
and we all hope that you learned some really great stuff today
during this panel take it easy.

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